Judgement of Paris-

This has got to be one of the toughest decisions of all time. Don't know what I'm talking about? Check Hera, Athena, and Aphrodite.

Paris, a handsome shepherd-- in fact, the most handsome man in the world-- on the hills of Mount Ida near Troy, currently consorting with Oenone, a wood nymph, sees 3 goddesses drop down to earth before him, escorted by Hermes, messenger of the gods.

It's a bit like one of those modern Miss America contests...

Please Welcome Miss Aphrodite

She steps into the clearing, head held aloof. The crowd goes wild. What a looker! And she's wearing that golden girdle that makes her irresistible to men. She smiles and offers Paris the most beautiful woman in the world as his prize if he selects her.

Now, if you know Paris, you need hear no more offers. Paris likes women, and this offer is right up his alley.

All the Trojan men are cheering their heads off. Perhaps if he picks this gal, Paris'll stop chasing their wives. No such luck, fellas.

Next...Miss Hera

That's Queen Hera to you, folks. She steps into the clearing, proud and fiery-eyed, and not a bad figure either. She offers Paris dominion over all Asia if he picks her.

The Asians in the crowd aren't too keen on this idea-- trust me, you don't want Paris in charge or you end up with one big harem up at Troy. Paris smiles, but this isn't his favorite offer.

And Now... Miss Athena!

Athena enters, her grey eyes piercing. Clearly, she enjoys exercising, and her fine figure shows it. She makes an incredible offer in a loud, clear voice. Choose her, she tells Paris, and become the most talented, wisest man in all the world and the greatest warrior.

Wow. But Paris is still thinking about that woman. Sorry, Athena.

The contestants all processed out for one final glance, adn Paris presented the apple to Aphrodite. The other two contestants wandered off into the bushes to plot revenge as the crowd went wild.

Thank you, thank you! The new Miss Goddess bowed to the crowd and vanished back up to Olympus.