Black Widow 2- Return of the Widow


Genre: Platform                                                                                                                                  

Platform: PC

PC requirements: Pentium I or up, and
definitely not Keith's computer. A CD-Drive.
A sound card. Speakers. At least 1.82 MB of RAM.
A video card. A monitor. A keyboard. Windows 95 or up.
A mouse. Wires and plugs. A bunch of plastic. Still working
brains cells to destroy.

Player(s): 1

    Strap yourself in, you're in for a hell of a bug squishing ride! This really cool game by
Tommy Cantu is not one of it's kind... another platform game. You play as this guy...
(Let's name him Bozo) You play as Bozo, a paralyzed but able to move person, on this plain
of dangerous askew striding black widows and tasty seductive "donut or cheerio-like" bagels
and bagel boxes and sharp looking gray things and eternal fire. Your objective seems to be to
reach the sign that says "level" and you continue to go forward to another sign that says "level".
But it all seems to be an endless loop of "level" signs that you try to reach but it drifts away
every time you're about to reach it.

    But you just wait... you have superpowers! Not only you can make objects disappear when
you walk pass them, and squish those gosh darned spiders just like how Mario did to the goombas,
climb vines with your hands in the back, you can also (I'm not making this up) walk on clouds!
A long time dream, now granted by the talent of Tommy Cantu. You might say, "I thought that
my dream was to fly...", well this is all we got, or else I'll have Tommy erase that function...
I'll show you who's boss! Speaking of bosses, there are no bosses (or are there? 'cause I
only went through the first few levels of the game...)! (or those level signs are the main boss
itself, a psychological boss that drives the player crazy and there seems to have no way to
stop it except stop playing the game!!!) Ahem... where were we? Oh yes... You can also change
into other characters by pressing (and holding) numbers. (The "Bush and Dubya" one really
gave me a kick in the bush!)


Here is the final evaluation:

Story: A

Of course there IS a story, and a good one too, "try and reach the 'level' sign you big old glob!"
That brings us to...

Graphics: C+

Well, I have to admit, out of everything else, the thing that bothers me the most is the character,
his face is either made to be blurry, or the character is actually Michael Jackson ten years from now.

Sound: B

First of all, the "ow" gets me every time (no seriously, I'd die for it!). And the music is quite annoying
but it's a great selection for a man-made game like this one, almost every man-made game music is this
annoying type (in the 90s, around 90-95).

Game play: C

There are some bugs in this game, oh yeah there are... when you get to the edge of those platforms, your
character's sticks to the side. No limb movements. and when you change character you get stuck unless
you jump and then change (but then you die even if you haven't touch the spiders).

Overall: B-

I'm trying not to make Tommy upset and cause him to rape me, this is the best I can do; as a critic.
Keep up the good work, fix those bugs (no not the spiders, those ones mentioned earlier), add like
uh... invincibility for 1 second thing, and maybe a laser to zap those morons.


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