CHAPTER 8- Christmas bells are RINGING

'Twas Christmas eve, Ovan went to Chinatown in San Francisco.
'Twas supposed to be silent and holy, but Ovan can't see any silent nor holy...

12 women in their late 50s a stabbing at the racks of vegetables,
11 kids a flinging tiny white bombs at random objects,
10 old guys a spitting,
9 pigeons a cooing and flying recklessly,
8 cars a beeping,
7 cell phones ringing,
6 people rushing,
5 GOLDEN WATERRRRR (puddles by the curb),
4 giant smoke screens,
3 French people,
2 turtles killed,
and a Chinese thinking if he fits...

'Twas a chaos, 'twas madness!
'Twas twilight zone all over again!
'Twas twitters and litters, spitters and fritters.
'Twas wabbit twacks and jagged jacks.
'Twas "twases" and causes and readers who are tired of reading "twases" and are feeling
nauseous, I'm gonna have some noshes.


Christmas morning, Ovan turned on the TV to channel 6, which is displaying the New York parade,
he wonders if there's a Lion King float, then he started to switch channels to see if other channels are
playing the parade. He flipped to 7 and was shocked at seeing a Beauty and the Beast float from the
Disney parade, there's GOTTA be a Lion King float! He then ran downstairs and opened a new tape
and shoved it into the VCR and quickly pressed REC and slowly waited throughout the endless
commercials as they edges by.

What seems to be 8 decades later, the Lion King float appears! Ovan tries to hold in his tears,
so he can save them for tomorrow...

That night, Ovan cooked up a "Study Guide", download it here. (there's supposed to be Lion King
cliparts, they might not show on your computer...)


Dec 26, Kwanzaa...

In da mornin', Ovan und his mama und papa go to eat ze Chinese buffet in Pork und Shop.
Und their secret ingridi-ont ibt FAT! But was it CHEAP...

Ovan saw Jen... or was it Jen saw Ovan? I DON'T CARE!

Then Ovan got home and called Keith, Keith answers, "I'm heading out right now, Heather's going
to pick me up."     ***inexplicable question: Was Heather driving? 'Cause I saw her mom (could be
someone else) driving it away saying "Have fun, bye"...***

An epoch had passed, Keith and HAH arrives. And they're off to San Jose! But first they have to stop
at the library, Ovan and Keith took a leak on the second floor and also masturbated each other.

They then hurried to the Tech Museum and saw the greatest animated movie ever, The Animated
Adventures of Sex and the City on IMAX. Ovan cried 7 times, Keith ejaculated 7 times, Heather pissed her pants
7 times. During the Luau part, Ovan was singing the luau song with Keith and Timon, they got hushed
by an angry hyena sitting next to Ovan.

Everyone had a great time... Ovan then went to sleep with his Simba doll, which smelled like Heather...