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Dated Tribute # 2 - Glay, oops, Clay Aiken

First off, let me begin by stating that I kind of fell for this fruit loop back in the day. It was a bit after American Idol season 2, and I had just discovered the scourge that was ezboard. He had a great voice - hammy glory notes and all - and between that, the phony image of the special ed teacher/humanitarian and the magic of airbrushing, I was hooked. It is by the grace of God that I did not become one of those Claymates, buying 50 copies of each album or draining my bank account to follow him around the country like a crazed Grateful Dead fanatic. Call me crazy, but I preferred to have a roof over my head and food in the fridge instead.

Let me explain...

...don't get me wrong, I have nothing against gay celebrities, hell, there was a time I would have fucked Nathan Lane for God's sake! Charisma and a great sense of humor has always been my Achillie's heel, but it was just the whole Mr. Morality bit, and the claims that he wasn't a "womanizer or gay." But watching this guy off the stage, the fact that he just came off more like a giggly girlfriend, the forced sexuality in his silly shows rubbing up on the fat backup singers, the weird rumors over the years and finally the John Palus thing (which I kind of saw coming; interesting that there had never been any ex-girlfriends discovered by the Enquirer or something). It all just kind of got on my nerves, and though it takes all kinds to make a world, I could never stand the really queeny, limp-wristed gay guys. Then there's the fact that his music just plain sucks... I quickly moved on.

Hey you stupid Claymates, this is not a straight man!

WTF is all the projecting about? Those poor old duluded women, just check out that Clayboard, they're as delusional as the Michael Jackson lovers, thinking that he's a red-blooded straight guy who can't get enough of the poontang! They're so desperate to believe it they will romantically link him to ANY woman he's photographed with! I could go on and on (and probably add more funny pictures eventually), but hey, whatever floats your boat. I'm too tired to give a shit so I'll end my tribute here. Don't forget, the new album drops September, I think, or maybe next year. I think he's performing at the Burt Reynolds Dinner Theatre, does Burt still own that, I forget.