Friday 23rd August,
2002

I'm
almost
a
sixthformer!

How good is it to be able to say that sentence! Hmmm yes, if anyone reads this who hasn't done their GCSEs yet then they really shouldn't worry at all because it seems like I got alright results from just turning up at the classes!

Ah yes, my alright results, well I got a 6.5 average which was made up of 3 As, 5 Bs, 2 Cs and a D and can you guess what the D was for? I.T! So stupid! I mean, I did do both pieces of coursework from scrach the night before they were due in when I had to do another two pieces of English and a personal statement all before the morning, but I.T. is like one of the things I would definitely see myself as some kind of expert on - this website for example! Pity I didn't submit this masterpiece to those fools!

Ahem yes well that has closed that chapter of my life and I am now looking forward to thrilling A levels and the prospect of fresh meat in the 6th form to make friends pages for!

And on that note I shall abandon you again dear readers for the abyss that is a life outside the internet! Sayonara!

Today:

MSN - "That wasn't so bad..."
Love - Surprising results from GCSEs
Hate - People with higher GCSE averages than me...

Back in Black - AC/DC

Thursday 1st August,
2002

Seven months. Seven months. 
S e v e n . M o n t h s .
How much longer can any one relationship last?!? I mean I have had haircuts that have lasted less than seven months! It's sick, it's twisted and it's wrong, WRONG I SAY! 
*A moon donkey flutters along and whispers in Max's ear*
What.
*The moon donkey desperately whispers*
She can read this? How?
*The moon donkey shakes it's head and then whispers again*
The what-a-net???
Never heard of it.
But...
*The moon donkey nods*
The she knows about...
*Again, the moon donkey slowly nods*
Ooooooh... So...
*nods*
Ah. Um. . .





ARGH WOAH SORRY IT'S MAX HERE! Good thing I got here, it looks like somebody hacked into my account and wrote things that would have gotten the crap beaten out of me by SOP!!! Phew! Good thing I'm back now! Boy, if I ever catch whoever it was that wrote that stuff, there'll be trouble!!! I think I scared them off...

Aaaaanyway, boy I can't wait for those luuurvely GCSE results, three guesses who's going to get all A*s...

Hmmm. Humour... been having some thoughts on the subject and decided I might regurgitate them into a little article sometime... Anyone want to buy me a notepad so I can write articles on the run and type them up later? Wow I feel just like a real reporter! Lois Lane, eat your heart out!

Yaaaaaaawn yes methinks it's bedtime now so I shall climb the wooden mountain or whatever strange term you kids have come up for stairs these days and rest my head on a lovely cool pillow! Nighty night readers. Both of you. *cries in the darkness*

Today:

MSN - "There once was an old man from Venus..."
Love - My brand spanky new tellingphone!!!
Hate - Impending results of GCSEs.

Closing Time - Semisonic

Tuesday 4th June,
2002

Ahoy thar Genties and Ladymen! The mighty Maximilian is back to make another meaningless post on his beautiful website! 
Glad to hear of a newcomer to this little community going by the name of Rob! He's the little psycho pirate boy in my class and his hobbies include burning things, downloading things and exploding things! Dammit, now I gotta get yet another  friend page up *sighs* the troubles of popularity... ;o)

So, being ill is fun! Would it really be too much to ask to give medicine a nice taste? Need to check the ingredients list to be sure but I'm pretty certain I have never spotted "sugar" on it and definitely never tasted anything even nearly resembling it in a thing that is supposed to be good for my health. Oh wait, except fruit! Fruit is cool... ahem anyway, as I'm sure you must have noticed, I'm not quite myself today cos I am recovering from evil illness! And they say there's a God...

Do you smoke? Why the hell would anyone do such a thing? One of the things about it that bothers me so much is that it actually takes effort to get into the habit in the first place! Oh deary deary me I think I shall rant about this another time! It's just so wrong and pointless, in many ways it's even worse if you only do it casually as you are playing with fire; you will get addicted unless you stop, it's just an inescapable fact.

Summer coming up soon! No doubt all my friends will abandon me at the same time again and so it looks like this site will once more return to become my major pastime and you might even see something get updated for a change! Unless that blasted SOP girl distracts me! Damn her hide to Hades...

Today:

MSN - "FCUK Fashion? BGUGER off!"
Love - Medicine beautiful medicine even if it does taste like satan's saliva.
Hate - Impending doom of returning GCSEs and ILLNESS!

Catlike Thief - Boxcar Racer

Monday 13th May,
2002

So, that Evil time has finally come... Study leave... for the GCSEs. Wooohooo. It's that time again where you realise just how little you actually listened in the last couple of years and that maybe, just maybe it would have been a better use of time to take some notes instead of discussing the scandals of year 11!

Oh well, you win some you lose some!

This post comes to you from the person who is currently voted FUNNIEST in the whole of the eleventh year of Chesham High School oh the Official Prom website but it is still a very close call between me and Stuart Jalland so I'm not quite planning that award speech just yet.

Oh yes, I'm working on a couple of articles still and there's the whole pictures page concept that is in progress but with GCSEs going on at the moment, they could take a while to actually end up published! Oh yes, and I took a few photos the other day so don't be surprised if you suddenly notice a friends page on yourself up here! 
EvEn If YoU hAvE nEvEr MeT mE In YoUr LiFe...

Oh, and lastly but most definitely not leastly (real word there?!)
HELLO to this page's number one fan at the moment, 
!
The only person who actually even bothers to come here anymore... *breaks down in tears*

Today:

MSN - "You have balls, I like that in a girl..."
Love - Cadbury's GIANT buttons(!)
Hate - Impending doom of GCSEs

Tribute - Tenacious D

Tuesday 30th April,
2002

Hey everyone, I thought I would just write a little update to great people coming from my sad little advertising on the prom website and to redirect anyone who has come from elsewhere over to that cool page run by Mr.Jay to take a big bite out of its juicy, informational promness!

So ANYWAY, GO TO THE PROM WEBSITE HERE!

Today:

MSN - Say what you wanted to ask me - You opened your mouth
Love - SLEEP: THE LIFE BRINGER!
Hate - Pointless things and Pointless people!

Silver - Hundred Reasons

Monday 22nd April,
2002

Heylo Ladies and Howdoyoudo Gentleman, today you are receiving an extra special update from Chesham High School Where I am joined by Benjamin! Who is here to say... Well I'm not really sure yet but we shall soon see... Anyway. Heere's Ben!

Hello there ladies and gents, and to all you primitve lifeforms out there, keep on trying boys, the secret is to bang the rocks together and make that square round.

On a lighter note Mr Jay MB decide that an end of year school prom should be the way to go, so we're looking at an evening of me sat all alone in the corner waiting for the dishy captain of the football team to sweep me off my feet and carry me away in a fit of swooning.

But enough about my dreams boys and girls, remember, you can take the shit out of a dog, and dogs seem to have an uncanny habit of rolling in shit the second you've pincered their claws.

 Riiiight... Anyway, those where the mystical words of benjamin but OH MY! Who is this who comes over hither cloud? Why, it's Alistair, the IT fairy. Gosh, He's coming over and chanting and Golly, he seems to be bursting into song, here he comes...

Hello, to start my wonderful message to ever1, i think you should know that this months official words are, 'Duh Arg'. These words should be used as often as possible and so you will find they'll just start slipping in (almost like a soft carrot) in to all your conversations. I would also like to make sure every1 knows i am amazing, and thats the only reason I'm growing my hair is because i'm actually Samson and my hair makes me amazingly strong, so don't mess with me. okay max is having spasms so I've gtg, bye ever1 and remember kids Ali is best!

Anyway, that's all for today, BYEBYE

Today:

MSN - Bovingdon -Where the streets are paved with mould!
Love - Banana energy.
Hate - The fact that Benjamin is considerably cooler than me.

Silver - Hundred Reasons

Saturday 20th April,
2002

Good Evening everybody! I am damn proud of myself because I have actually been working on new material for these pages! I realised that I had written an article on chocolate ages ago that never got finished so I might post that too but who knows! You can also probably anticipate a few new friends pages soon but I need photos so if you want a friends page of your very own then feel free to email me a picture of you and I will see what words I can muster to aid me in the quest to do you justice!

lol, Just realised that my declaration of music as a deity down in my Today section of this post is actually kinda breaking one of the Ten Commandments but hey you win some you lose some and we all know that Luck is the one true force that binds the universe. I owe most things I have to luck and the rest I achieved myself. 
No weird omnipotent beardy man got me where I am today.* 
And, of course, Luck also does its best to fuck my life up. The probability of people close to you dying? Up to luck. The chances of me passing my exams? Unfortunately, at the moment, also largely in the hands of probability.
No red monsters with pointy horns and a trident here.
But luckily I can improve my chances of getting that elusive 5.5 average by revising. Ill people can decrease their likelihood of death by taking medicine. And you can increase your chances of going to "Heaven" by ignoring everything I say.

Ah I've had enough of this seriousness for now so I'm going to go and get some work in on new pages for your viewing pleasure!

See you in the Funny Pages,

Maximilian.

*with the arguable exception of my dad's contribution to my existence

Today:

MSN - Bovingdon -Where the streets are paved with mould!
Love - Music: the one true god
Hate - The fact that memorising stuff to get qualifications is how our society works today

The Set Up - Reel Big Fish