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"Bear" "in" the "Big" "Blue" "House" |
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NAVIGATION
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Now, unless you go by the name Roman Petrosalt, you would probably agree that lying to little children is wrong! BUT, you would be likely to say also that Bear in the Big Blue house is a fantabulous program for such children to watch. BUT (again) OF COURSE (for the first time) YOU’D BE WRONG! (Bet this happens loads) ! This awful program takes disgusting advantage of the trust that children confide in it! Think I’m wrong? Then just listen to this terrifying tale…
Is the house actually all blue? Well? IS IT!??! NO! It is no more blue than either you or I!!! As my associate, Thomas Connor, pointed out, one room can distinctly be seen as being yellowy beige and quite tastefully decorated! That is one lie straight away and frankly, quite a humungous one! Now, if you continue this trail, you notice that also, technically speaking, that figure on screen with the quite worryingly dislocated neck is no bear! Another disgusting lie! FILTH! The "bear" in question is in fact some kind of electronically controlled MACHINE! Now, judging from the size, I’d say it would take at least six fully grown men to operate such a monstrosity! Again, was this mentioned in the title? NO! A disgusting lie was created about a "bear"- an animal that I know I have never heard of! Honest… So… "that’s all the lies spread by these almost Nazi-like LIE-MONGERS!" I hear you think! But (yet again) NO! There’s more… The show also features the "bear" ’s friends! But is there any warning of this in the title for those who don’t like to see others having friends due to them experiencing a severe lack thereof in their own lives that forces them to have to hide in a dark corner crying every weekend until their mummy comes and tells them it is time for bed and they must proceed to cry themselves to sleep?? NO! It is another abhorrent oversight that has, no doubt, caused many an eight-year-old potential Einstein successor to don a rifle and poke people with it! So, if you take into account all these HORRIFYING mistakes then the amended and fully truthful title comes out as… About Six Men in a Gigantic Bear-Suit on a Set Resembling a Tastefully Decorated and Moderately Large House with his Little Friends that don’t mean you should be Intimidated Because you have None Catchy, eh!
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