Thinking about suicide but you're not sure if it is the right thing to do? Here are some tips to help you decide whether or not killing yourself is a good choice.
1. Do you live at home but your parents are always telling you what to do? Do they make you clean your room and do homework? Its a sure sign that they do not love you and that they want you to kill yourself. Why else would they make you clean your room? What are they going to do next, ground you? Make you wear braces? Don't kid yourself. The message is clear.
2. If you just got out of a bad relationship and you feel like things are never going to get better; you are right. Everyone knows that suicide is the only option, stop procrastinating. Look on the bright side, at least your ex will feel guilty for a couple of minutes--but don't count on it!
3.Depressed? Don't have any friends? Well, i guess nobody told you but being depressed and feeling lonely isn't normal. Everyone else is happy and had lots of friends so there must be something wrong with you. Put the Prozac away. What you need is rat poison!
4.Spill a drink at a party? Drop a plate of food in a restaurant? Nobody else has to live with that kind of embarrassment; you know what you have to do.
5. Flunked out of college? Don't know algebra? here is a question you should know the answer to: Flunked out of college + don't know algebra = _________. Chances are you still don't know that answer, so here is a hint: it starts with 'S' and ends with 'uicide.'
6. Traffic jam? Sometimes bad luck isn't coincidence. Do you really want to sit in traffic for another half hour? Look on the bright side, if you are a Viking you will be going to Valhalla. Then again, you're probably not, but eternal damnation in hell is probably the next best thing!
7.Telemarketers keep calling? Its easier to hang yourself than to get rid of a telemarketer, am i wrong? If you're lucky Home Depot might be having a sale on rope. After all, you don't want to die letting people think you weren't frugal.
8.Flu? You realize there is no cure for the flu, right? Well, no cure that doesn't involve painting the wall with your brains.
9.Flat tire? Do i have to spell it out for you?
10.College application get rejected? Take a hint!
Hope you found this guide helpful. Mention it in your suicide not. On second thought, Why bother? Nobody will read it anyways!
