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The OFFISHUL Site of GerkVille

RITLI NEW MAYOR OF GERKVILLE

GerkVille rejoiced this morning after learning the results of the Mayoral Elections, in which Mr Evan Ritli claimed Victory.
“After 10 years of Thorsen, I think GerkVille is happy for a change.” Ritli stated at his campaign party. “Everyone thought he was a little shit.”
Ritli’s promise to dance if he won the election rang true with a stunning display of uncoordinated flailing of arms.
“I’ve never seen anyone breakdance like that.” said Jacinta Jones, Ritli’s new trophy wife.
Tegan Murnane is happy to share the role of wife with another woman. “I think after being with Thorsen for the last 10 years she’ll find Ritli is a pretty good fuck.”
Ritli’s Votes raised from 4 to 22 in the last day of the election with Ritli saying that he did do “just a little bit of campaigning.” Ritli eventually won with a percentage of 53% and Thorsen a percentage of 46%. “Yeh, I really don’t know where that extra 1% went.” he said.
Death Metal Banners were hung off light posts in celebration and the gates to the eternal pits of hell were opened just down Colt St. “This is the first time theyve been opened since the Hanson government of 1943" said political analyst Stacey Ray.
Geoff Thorsen has not been spotted since last night. A brown suit has been found with a written speech in the pocket. “The speech was just something like what Thorsen was gonna say if he won I think.” Said the Mayor’s Bodyguard Travis Gilbert.
In other election news Mr Samuel Lovison’s flat was raided this morning after a tip off that he had voted more then once in the election. “We found an expired Visa and Fake passport in his house.” Said Constable Ferguson. “We’re shipping him back to Greece.”
Mr. Aaron McNeilly has been thrown from his job as talkback Radio host at MOONFM under the Ritli regime and has now taken up garbage collection.

WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO GERKVILLE UNDER THE NEW GOVERNMENT? WHERE HAS THORSEN GONE? WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO MOONFM? WHAT ABOUT LOVO’S LILYANGISH SHOP?


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