ED'S SEMI-ALMOST NEARLY IMPORTANT SITE

Hello, and welcome to Ed's site entitled “ED'S SEMI-ALMOST NEARLY IMPORTANT SITE.” If you're reading this, you obviously aren't Ed, because Ed would not be so silly as to read his own site, because if it's on “ED'S SEMI-ALMOST NEARLY IMPORTANT SITE,” it follows that Ed probably wrote it, right? Of course. Now he may have to look it over now and again to make sure it's all in working order, but he wouldn't sit and read it once he's sure it's all worded nicely.

So, we have established that you are not Ed. Since this site is “ED'S SEMI-ALMOST NEARLY IMPORTANT SITE”, and you (as we have already established) are not Ed, why do you seem so interested in it? Hmmm? You seem not to be answering so quickly.

Now, having visited Ed's site, what do you plan to do here? You cannot blackmail him, because there is no compromising material/files (i.e. porn) on it. However, if Ed was the type of person who needed to look at that sort of thing (which he is NOT) he would likely not keep it on a site called “ED'S SEMI-ALMOST NEARLY IMPORTANT SITE.” He would probably keep it on a site called “ED'S REALLY IMPORTANT SITE” or “ED'S XXX SITE” or more bluntly, “ED'S PORN SITE.”

OK, maybe not so blunt, but the XXX one isn't so unlikely. Anyway, the point is Ed would not put such a low priority on keeping something so compromising secret, if he were to have such a thing.

So we come back to the point: why are you here? Hmmm? You're still not coming up with a satisfactory answer.

If you were trying to create your own web page and heard that Angelfire is a good place to do that (and it is), it's not likely you'd be here. You'd be off signing up for an account and adding your own files to the Angelfire servers, slowing down even further the speed of the Internet. Ed is joking, of course. But you would not be here, unless you were so HOPELESSLY lost in regard to making a website that you would look at any random site to get a clue where to start. Take Ed's advice. “ED'S SEMI-ALMOST NEARLY IMPORTANT SITE” isn't a terribly great site, and probably isn't too helpful to learn from. Although, in fairness to himself, Ed does keep his code pretty darn clean; lots of white space and no extra tags.

So there are only two (2) possible conclusions. Either 1) you have stumbled across this site almost entirely at random, or B) you are an acquaintance of Ed's and he has given you a subtle hint that he'd like it if you perused “ED'S SEMI-ALMOST NEARLY IMPORTANT SITE.” Of course, Ed wouldn't have to tell his friends in order to get people to look at his site, how silly – oh, wait, yes he would. Ed doesn't exactly attract attention in real life, and there are only so many people around. Just imagine how he'd fare in cyberspace with literally billions of websites out there.

But Ed digresses. Either way you're here, Ed is proud to extend a hearty welcome to you! So, if you're one of the good people of the world (and how would you look if you admitted that you're not?) you can make Ed feel good by having a look around his site. Also, if you have any feedback for him, you can contact him via e-mail at ejleonar@mtu.edu (feel free to give this address to all of your attractive female friends – Ed needs all the help he can get). Any serious comments will net you a very sincere “thank you” and maybe even a cookie. (Ed really likes cookies – especially chocolate chip. Feel free to tell this to your attractive female friends as you are giving them Ed's e-mail address.)

Ed likes to consider himself to be one of the nice guys of the world (also a bit of info to slip into the conversation with your attractive female friends), so who knows? You might even earn yourself a new friend in the process.

Especially if you are someone else's attractive female friend…

Ed also apologizes for writing in the third person, but it gives him the satisfaction of knowing that…uh, that… uh… well, Ed really isn't sure why he likes to write in the third person, but he does. Ed apologizes if this bothers you:

III       A     PPP     OO    L       OO     GG    III   ZZZZ   EEEE
 I       A A    P  P   O  O   L      O  O   G  G    I       Z   E
 I      A   A   P  P   O  O   L      O  O   G       I      Z    EEE
 I      AAAAA   PPP    O  O   L      O  O   G GG    I     Z     E
 I      A   A   P      O  O   L      O  O   G  G    I    Z      E
III     A   A   P       OO    LLLL    OO     GG    III   ZZZZ   EEEE

There. I even wrote it in the first person. I only hope I haven't annoyed you. Enjoy the site!