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Funny Quotes

"I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know whut I should feed it."

"i'm so great, i'm jealous of myself"

"I believe in dragons, good men, and other fantacy creatures!"

"i knew the something was wrong when my imagonary friends would not play with me"

"i knew the something was wrong when my imagonary friends would not play with me"

"If u didn't have feet would u ware shoe's? Then why do u ware a bra???"

"Just cause your not paranoid, doesn't mean they're not out to get you!"

"i WeNt FrOm CaNdY aNd ToYz 2 CeLlPhOnEz AnD bOyZ "

"Women are stupider than men, because we date them."

"Sometimes I dream about being caried off by a big giant squirrel. Does that make me a nut?"

"Everyone is entitled to be stupid but you're abusing the privilege."

"Milk duz the body good but DAMN how much did u drink?!"

"I dropped a tear into the ocean. The day I find it is the day I stop loving you."

"The closest you will ever come to a brain storm is a light drizzle."

"Born with no soul, lack of control, cut from the mold of the anti-social."

"I am actually quite pleasant...UNTIL I'M AWAKE!"

"Don't look at me in that tone of voice!!"

"Even if the voices aren't real, they have some good ideas."

"Silence is golden, but shouting is much more fun!"

"SMART gurls are more interested in having FUN than trying to look good."

"Guyz SUCK! But they're so damn cute...."

"You're just jealous cuz the voices talk to me!"

"My imaginary friend thinkz you have serious mental problemz."

There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't count. Which of the three are you?

"Smiling is only a symptom of happiness and can be faked. Do not assume that everybody who smiles is happiness."

"Life is like a bed of nails, it hurts no matter where you step."

"Who the hell wants to be a healthy, organic whole when you can be a brilliant, injured, human fragment?"

Las cosas claras y el chocolate espeso. (Ideas should be clear and chocolate thick.)

The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't.

If a man speaks in the forest, and there's no woman around to hear him... Is he still wrong?

I ran up the door, closed the stairs, said my pajamas, and put on my prayers. Turned off the bed, and hopped into the light, all because you kissed me good night

Heaven won't have me and hells afraid i'll take over!

*Star light ....Star bright .... where the heck is Mr. Right?*

~*~One day your prince will come, mine just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is to stubborn to ask for directions~*~

Last night I was looking at the stars and I was wondering where the heck is my ceiling!

I Am A Princess, I Live In The Clouds, If You Wanna Kick It With Me, You Better Bow Down, So Get On Your Knees, And Call Me Your Highness, Cuz Baby Believe Me I'm New York's Finest!

Give a mouse a cookie, he'll want a glass of milk

Im an angel! Honest! The horns are just there to keep the halo up straight!

4 out of 5 voices in my head say go back to sleep

FOR ALL OF YOU WHO TALK ABOUT ME THANKS FOR MAKING ME THE CENTER OF YOUR WORLD!

I can only please one person per day, today is not your day and tomorrow doesn't look good either.

I dropped a tear in the ocean- when I find it is the day I'll stop loving you

*See my haylo* *Bright n shiny* *Mess wid mee* *I'll kick ure hiney*

****I'm not werid! I'm gifted****

You're only bad if you're caught... So that makes me a good girl, RIGHT!?

~what a shame...looks like the ugly fairy kissed you on both cheeks!~

He/She's Not The Brightest Candle On The Birthday Cake!

*....NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF STUPID PEOPLE IN LARGE GROUPS.....*

You may shoot me with your words,You may cut me with your eyes,You may kill me with your hatefullness, But still, like air, I'll rise.

Ociffer, I swear to drunk Im not God!!!!!!

There are easier things in life than finding a good man. Nailing Jell-O to a tree, for instance.

YeH u'D bE PReTTy gOoDLOoKiN iF iT WaSnT FoR yOuR FaCe

youre a few fries short of a Happy Meal.

youre a few beans short of a burrito.

youre a few bombs short of a cluster

youre a couple of sandwiches short of a picnic.

huked on foniks wurket fer me, kant cha tell?

NOT THE BRIGHTEST CRAYON IN THE BOX NOW ARE WE ??

i dOn'T sWiM iN YoUr ToiLeT sO DoN't pEe iN My pOoL!

Your village just called, their missing their idiot!

You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.

ur envy creates my energy, ever wonder y im so hyper?

NO OFFICER THERE'S NO BLOOD IN MY ALCOHOL SYSTEM!

I look at the moon and a single star It's making me crazy wondering where you are I reach out and touch that heavenly face Open my hand and there's empty space

Roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and so are you, but the roses are wilting, the violets are dead the sugar bowls empty and so is your head

if u dont like the way i drive, get off the sidewalk!

CrOsS uR HaRt & hOpE 2 DiE ClOtHeZ & MaKeUp BoYs & LiEs 4EvA DeRe TiLL Da EnD DeFiNiTiOn Of : TrU BeSt FriENdz

Everyone has a photographic memory, some people just don't have film

SMILE! it scares people...

Mirrors don't talk and lucky for you they don't laugh!

This is an inside joke and ur on the outside!

Men r not pigs... pigs are cute, conciderate, and caring.

roses are red, violets are black, if u don't love me, then i'll give U a smack!

Scientists say 1 out of every 4 people is crazy, check 3 friends, if they are okay, you're it.

EVIL is just LIVE spelled backwords

Cheerleaders are happy, happiness sux Cheerleaders clap, they look like ducks. They think their all that and a bag o' chips! Well actually there a bunch o' dits!!

~*~ Ashes to Ashes Dust to Dust Life is short so PARTY we must!! ~*~

DINNER IS READY WHEN THE SMOKE ALARM GOES OFF.

~*~EveryOne Deserves To Feel Pretty... So Leave Me Alone~*~

Mistakes are made, you pay for them.. then you do it again

I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know whut I should feed it.

LoVe Me NoW, oR lOvE mE nEvA, bUt If U lOvE mE, lOvE mE 4-eVa

live free, die proud. have fun, play loud!

Dont interupt me when I'm talking to myself.

-It's ok to care about what you look like, but obsessing over it can make little flaws seem huge-

Hey look on the bright side... not everyone hates you as much as i do..

~~~**Cry me a river, build me a bridge, then do us all a favor and jump off it!!**~~~

OMG! You killed (name)!!! How much do I owe u?

kute enuf to make you look twice sweet enuf but not too nice a lil crazy but not too wild the kinda grl that`ll make ya smile:)

ºROseZ Smell Good Yet they die, i Will Be truthful UnleSs u liEº

«ü had betta take some sleeping pills baby....cüz the only place üll get me is in ür dreamz!¡!»

I'm SwEeT as HeAvEn, I'm HoT as HeLl, I'm the FiNeSt GuRl, as U can TeLL!!!

~ Rose's Are Red ~ ~ Violets Are Blue~ ~ The Sun Is Hot ~ ~ And So Are U ~

Computers: A really hot one.....oops.....my fault.....that's my reflection!

stop honkin ure hornz stop callin mah name I aint fallen 4 ya game

lOvE fIsHeS cUz tHiEr So DELiCiOuS...gOtTa gO fIsHiN...I cOulD Go fIsHiN 4 u BuT u aInT eXaCtLy WhAt We CaLL dElioCOUs

We shared our secrets in the dark, although we were only friends i don't know when the feelin changed inside my heart

i looked at you a thousand times but this time when i looked at u there was somethin new how could i be so blind?

ya'll look at me and say "girl u've been blessed" but ya'll can't see the inside of my unhappiness

L oose O nce V omit E nemies ........ WhAtS sO gOoD aBoUt ThAt!!

Don't think of it as losing, think of it as getting beat by a girl

If YoU dOn'T LiKe WhAt YoU SeE...OoPs... I fOrGoT EvErYoNe LiKeS wHaT tHeY SeE If ThEy'Re LoOkInG aT Me!!!!!!!!

*:. my mom told to me never take candy from strangers, but strangers have the best darn candy! .:*:.

TGIF~ Thank God Im Female

~*~*Friends are 4ever, Guyz are whatever, When worst comez 2 worst, My girlz come 1st!*~*~

~*Boys are bad, throw rocks at them all*~

*DiDjA kNoW tHaT iM iNvIsIbLe?.....BuT oNlI wHeN nO-1's ArOuNd*

When my last teardrop falls, I will stand tall, And keep all our memories, And all of what used to be.

(Name) and (name) were born ta shine while da rest of yaz are borderline

You told me not to talk to you So I told myself not to cry But not talking to you for dayz Just makes me wanna die!

Tell me that you love me Tell me that you care Even if you're lying, Thats what I need to hear

The greatest power is the power of goodbye

I think it's werid when i love you, I think it's werid when i care I think it's werid when i want you, when you dont even know i am there

What happens if you get scared to death....twice?

~*InTeRnEt BoYz*~ *ThEy SeEm AlL hOt N fLy* ~*BuT gUeZz WuT*~ *tHeY aLl TelL lIes*

Before you decide to live by the "early bird" policy, find out whether you're the bird or the worm.

****an error isnt a mistake until u refuse to correct it!!****

love is like a book......if you tear a page, you rip the heart...and have to pay for both!

I was blind before but i opened my eyes and realized your words are just a bunch of lies.

Monkeys are cute and fuzzy, Boys are cute and lazy!

*SuRgEoN GeNeRaL WaRniNg* *fLiRtiN WiT Me MaY LeAd 2ExTrEmE iNFaTuAtiOn * *& iN SoMe CaSeS UnBeLiEvEaBLe pLeAsUrE*

*Sometimes I dream about being caried off by a big giant squirrel. Does that make me a nut?*

u kno what? u need to call 1-800 get-a-life and stop revolving around mine!

~Rosez r red Violetz r blu Suga iz sweet but revenge iz 2~

Do you come with a instruction manual cuz ur confussin me!

i WeNt FrOm CaNdY aNd ToYz 2 CeLlPhOnEz AnD bOyZ

~*u DoNt DeSeRvE Me i KnOw ThAt ItS TrUe, bUt I WaNt u So bAd.. WuT Do I Do*~

~Sometimes we must get hurt in order to grow; we must fail in order to know. Sometimes our vision clear only after our eyes are washed away with tears.

Yes, girls are right. Men are a bunch of dogs. Alot are really cute! Tons of fun to play with We keep all of them company. And without us they would be miserable and bored.

did u know ur smart? smart as a cucumber on wheels!

It's not "When Wild Animals Attack!" It's more like "When Stupid People Get Bit!"

When the officer says: "Gee son you're eyes look red have you been drinking? respond: Gee officer your eyes looks glazed. Have you been eating doughnuts?

If life gives you lemons, squeeze the juice into a watergun and squirt it into other peoples eyes!

this isnt burger king u cant have it ur way

if somene says something back to you, say " I've heard better combacks from a turkey sandwich"

With a Wink and A kiss... im Sry 2 announce but thys lil hottie haz got to BoUnCe... so with an X and an O (name) out like wo!

*~Don't ask God for a easy life, ask him to make you a strong person~*

why are you red and surrounded by fire oops i got you confused with the deman

*This is a taco-burrito conversation, NACHOS*

judge me all you want. just keep the verdict to yourself

Four important words in life: CHEAT, LIE, STEAL, DRINK. If you CHEAT, cheat death. If you LIE, lie about your age. If you STEAL, steal someone's heart and if you DRINK, have one with me!

Boyz r great........ Every gurlz team needs a waterboy!

I believe in dragons, good men, and other fantacy creatures!

My heart is lost~ im off 2 find it. once i do, i gotta bind it. cuz if i dont then it'll be a mess my luv 4 u will pour out and then there'd b less.

     

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