the world of Captain Bitch!!! (the internet's most useless site!)

***IMPORTANT*** top 5 Captain Bitch's BigAss News Flashes

• that prestigious /dope lookin' bear is the ceo of my record company (he just got back from the mall)
• no one wins the coloring contest, cus u guys can't stay in the lines
• i won coustody of lil captain bitch jr in a bitter custody battle, and we are going to mcdonalds in 5 minutes.
• when i went to the store to get diet coke, they were all out, and i had to get diet pepsi, and then on my way home i ran into my ex-gf (ugg)
• i'm making a new rap song called 'Jewelry, hats, gloves, etc'!
• i hope you all welcomed lil cap'n bitch juniour back home!!!

...see those kids at the dope pink computer?

well one of them is a venture capitalist, and the other is a webpage designer, and they are putting this mofo 2gether as we speak!!! HEY, get to work guys! i don't pay you fools to stand around admiring my expensive and dope art collection

hi every1 captain bitch here! this webpage has just got started, so check back soon 2 see more and get the inside scoop on captain bitch!

hey whats goin' on lil' duuude? see that picture of me? it was taken when i was just a lil' little tiny tiny tiny tiny baby cub. man, i couldn't even rap back then :( i was such a tiny lil cub that when my gangster cousin dannie:

(thats dannie in the dope hat)

went 2 whack fools that he put me in his shirtpocket so i could watch and learn fro' the pros, cus he figured i'd be a rapping gangster like him when i grew up! even as a lil' teddycub, i still had style- that is a jil sander hat, and prada cub shoes i've got on.

Here is the offical coloring contest picture! good luck from captain bitch!!! along with captain bitch, the ceo of cap'n's record label is judging the coloring contest

Cap'n B's GTA3 Crazy Coloring contest rules! the winner gets a VERY dope prize: you get a shoutout on ma webpage, as well as your dope picture featured on my page WITH A SPECIAL BORDER AROUND IT FROM MY 95 ADOBE PHOTOSHOP!! Plus a jpg B&W picture of ME that will be 'autographed' by ME with a message to YOU wishing you BEST WISHES! Age limit; IF YOU ARE OVER 55 YEARS old you may NOT enter the contest! Contest ends October 1st 2002 I know alot of U guys want to win this contest badly, but please only one entry per day, per household. Also relatives of mine may NOT enter. sorry michael dildough, and my grandma's doggy, snicklefritz: i cant let you guy enter the contest. sorry snicklefritz, dude u are still the best lil' doggy in the whole wide world but you are NOT eligible to enter!!! If the pictures don't load on neo, then go 2 my webpage and they will be posted soon by some captain bitch inc. employees. post your dope pics here, or put em on imagestaion and give captian bitchy the url. GOOD LUCK LIL' DUDES!!!

the captain bitch album is coming soon!!!

click on the link below to see me answer dear abby mail!! okay i'm going 2 bed yaaawn

Captain Bitch's favorite Captain Bitch Bigass Web Sites

Richard Simmons? this guy helped my cub, lil cap'n b jr to lose 3 pounds. way to go richard!!!
Optimal Performance guide by cap'n b at neoseeker
MUST SEE Heartwarming photos of the cap's fam playing video games at neoseeker
Captain Bitch's ADVICE COLUMN