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Diddle Yourself (AKA Official Chatroom Anthem) by Kata Stack

You can diddle yourself
It'll make you feel fine
You can diddle yourself
And it won't make you go blind
You can diddle and diddle and diddle some more
You can diddle til you can't tell the ceiling from the floor
Just diddle
And diddle

There's just one thing i want to ask you please
Don't diddle homeless people 'cause you might get a disease
Just diddle

You can diddle your friends
You can diddle your dog
But i wouldn't suggest that
'cause thats really gross

But don't diddle the Ladies Room because they're a bunch of bastards.

disclaimer: no ladies room presidents or members were hurt in the making of this song