Ask Pokey is (sorta) a part of Insane Hamster Cult
 

 
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January 2004
Happy friggin' New Year. Remember to send those questions to askpokey@hotmail.com.

Newest questions on top, older ones on the bottom.


January Questions:


Why does the date at the IHC and Ask Pokey say January 2003 when it's January 2004?
~Dr. Norman Fidius Sane

Funny story- He uploaded both indexes and immediately afterward realized that we had made the same mistake of writing the wrong year. But, since he’s too lazy to redo the pages until an actual update, they will remain that way until he actually writes something coherent.

Well, not so much a funny story, as unbelievably mundane. Thanks for pointing out the obvious, Baldy McBalderson from Baldron (in the Baldaria galaxy.)


Why does the empty to cardboard box on the floor of my lab move by itself?

It’s not moving by itself. Snake is underneath it, preparing to shoot you in the back. Look out.

Why is everyone over at MT's Universe so crazy?

It seems to me that an obviously bald man that pretends not be bald is a bit too crazy to be judging the sanity of others.

What's the Insane hamster cult's theme song? 

~CloudStrif8 

Some might suggest immediately that it would be Hampster Dance, by Hampton the Hampster, but this is not the case. The actual song is Cossack Patrol by Ivan Rebroff (No link avalible, you probably need to get it illegally off KaZaA or something, but watch out for the Russian RIAA.)



Why are my brothers friends so stupid?
 ~ Donna 

Why are stupid little girls always so vocal about their belief that boys are stupid? Listen up, cause I'm gonna blow your mind: Yes, your brother's friends are probably very stupid, but guess what? Your friends are too. So are you. Please, take this personally as if I was your best friend since kindergarten: You, your best friend, all the children in your entire grade are RETARDED. 

This is, of course, judging only by the content of your horrible website and the emails you send me, but there is no way, after viewing these things, that anyone can conclude that you have even moderately adequate intelligence. You are a stupid little girl. You are in no place to make judgment. Kindly please shut the fuck up.

Since 3x everything and anything is cheese, whats 3xcheese? I tried figuring it out but i got 3x3. I think I forgot to carry the one.
 
42. (Damn, that joke's getting old.)

Are blue whales blue?
 
Of course! They live in the freakin' ocean, why should they be happy?

Why?

I am once again forced to restate the obvious: THEY LIVE IN THE FREAKING OCEAN.
 

 



"Ask Pokey" and all related personalities, characters, code, questions, monkeys, concepts, fish, jokes, planets and evil piggies are all copyright (c) Andy Schwem and Mr. Moo productions. Steal our shit and die, punks. And that isn't like an idle threat or anything, either. I will literelly track you down and kill you. Maybe tommorow, maybe the next day. Maybe twenty years from now, but one day when you don't expect it you'll come home from a long day working at Burger Palace and you'll walk to the bathroom in the dark, not bothering to turn on the lights. Then you'll look in the dirty mirror over your sink and in the reflection, standing behind you, will be me, holding a large butcher knife. You'll have just enough time to gasp in horror before I plunge th knife into your back, silencing your theiving self forever. That'll teach ya.