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Friday, March 11, 2005

What Evan Said.

I finally figured out why i've been getting shit jobs recently: i'm a nice guy (ignore what the midgets tell you). Nice guys don't really finish last, at least when it comes to the job offers. Why place a menstrating bitch opposite a cranky customer and potentially lose a sale when you can have a calm, cool headed guy to work it out? Seems logical right? Yeah, for a quick fix at least. Confused? Good, cause I don't really have to explain myself.


Okay, I guess I do.

You see, everybody is different personality-wise. Different life experiences, different genes, different hormones, etc. But one thing i've learned during the 19 years here is that no matter how diverse, they fall into two different catergories.

On one side, you have rational people. Me, you (hopefully). We live day to day, not really bothering anybody, able to make sound judgements, you know, the stuff midgets can't do. Then on the other side, you have the irrational people. They can't go through the day without fucking with somebody. It doesn't really matter who it is, as long as they can get away with it, they'll fuck 'em to the very end. They actually wake up in the morning and say: "Hmmmmm...I wonder who's the poor sap that i'll fuck with today?" If their day ends and they didn't start anything with any living thing, they'll slit their wrists and listen to the overplayed/overhyped music of their choice. For some reason, they've marched en-masse to my CVS.

The irrational are different from you and I(again assuming that you are indeed rational). They don't breathe and eat and handle waste like you or me. They've eliminated that need thousands of years ago. I mean, they always say that they're in a hurry for something, but will stand there indefinitely to argue about a recipt that "doesn't look right". Rational people on the other hand, actually have a life, and will get worn out after a while and either snap at the offender or appease him/her. By the way, it's always a her. I've met only one guy that complained/yelled, and although he didn't seem gay, I had to label him that way by default. Such a faggot.

Out of the two options left to the rational employee, neither are good. Neither one. That doesn't help them much either. After a while, they just get tired of it, and turn into the person they don't want to use: the angry menstrating employee(even guys, i've noticed a little blood in my boxers some mornings).

I don't really know what point I was trying to make out of all of this. I'll just conclude by giving you all some sage advice for all future employees in the customer service department.

Midgets suck.


Crappy Journal Of The Day

spongebob stupidpants sucks..

Great idea, piss poor execution. While I like the idea that they're are intelligent people out there who don't really watch or care about Spongebob, this site doesn't really showcase the minority of sane people on the Internet that i'm talking about. This page is mostly likely inhabited by kids who are pretty mature for their age and don't watch kids shows but watch Cartoon Network's Adult Swim after midnight on a school night with the volume way low so their parents don't yell at them for staying up too late and watching adult programs. And they can go to school with all their mature friends and quote the episode incessantly or until someone kicks them in the teeth. Or worse, they could be actual adults.

Okay, from what I've heard, Spongebob may be ending.I read on the Internet that the cast of the show have finished up like another seasons worth of episodes, then theyre not renewing their contracts. So thats cool. Oh, and by the way I was unfortunate enough to see the movie.Ugh. Now I left through most of the middle, but the movie ends by spongebob grabbing a guitar, Playing a song, and shooting lasers at people. I didnt understand it either.

Going to the movie automatically makes you a retard in my book. I mean, it's fucking Spongebob. You'd have to be a retard, or maybe, a kid, to enjoy a kid's cartoon. What was she doing there anyway?


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