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THE TOO BROKE TO PARTY GUY

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IF YOU'D LIKE TO MAKE A SHAMELESS DONATION FROM $1 ON UP FOR MR. TBTPG's libations, transportation, tacky attire, afterclub food scarfs, etc, help this grizzled hero by clicking here! I'm credit legit verified!!

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CIVILIANS ASK, HOW DID HE GET THERE?

YEAH, MOM SAID, "STAY IN COLLEGE," DAD SAID, "KEEP A JOB!" but MR. TBTPG said "that circuit scene comes once a lifetime!" So goes an American, no WORLD tragedy! The lure of countless weekly parties, raves, conventions, festival escapes! Only now, in his forties, is the tally coming in!

You've seen MR. TBTPG's throughout the World, duplicated in acidic colors, their paunches slightly rounded, wrinkles at the eyes, hair thinning, clothes attired a la' WALMART, yet nothing, in their dance floor revelries, stops their decadence. MR. TBTPG makes no apologies, other than he helps his aging parents, pays his bills, HELL, even helps old ladies cross the street, HE JUST DOESN'T HAVE PARTY MONEY LIKE HE USED TO! Help him from straining your eyes on sunlit streets, keep him festive, alive, in murky clubs, give to a cause SOCIETY WILL LOVE!

THE MEDIA ASKS: Is MR. TBTPG a gimmick, a government stooge, an undercover religious convert, a brazen opportunist, or just a lackless libertine out for cash? Frankly as MR. TBTPG says, "after a sixpack, who cares!"

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TIME PASSES FOR JADED TROOPERS!

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