I am going to tell you about something exciting that has happened to me in the past week.  Wait, nevermind there is nothing.  Okay since there is nothing to say, here are some links to places that I hope will make you laugh, cry, smile and frown.  If you only do one, I will be satisfied.  Well I really don’t know what to write here, don’t get mad at me, you are the one that comes to this damn webpage looking for something to jerk off to.  Its not my fault that angelfire wont allow me to put up porn.  I think that maybe you and your rosey palm need a break.  So now that I have wasted my time writing this pointless babble I think that I need a nap.  I am fucking tired.  I hope that your time was just as useless as mine.  Everybody needs to be useless sometimes just for the hell of it.  Thanks for looking, and if you are still reading, you must really love me a lot.  I wish that I had a guestbook so that those people who are really still reading this could confess their love to me in total anonymity, or just stay silent or tell me to shut the fuck up or something like that.  Now that I have typed all that (I am a slow typer), you don’t get any links.  If that bothers you, I don’t care.  God damn I don’t feel good right now.

There are certain things that I do not think that I will ever understand.  I am a college age person just looking for something to do with my life.  If there is anybody who is 19 and is not just completely confused as to what they are going to be doing in 10 years…let me know.  These are the only things that I know about where and what I want to be 10 years from now:

1.  I am alive

2.  I am happy

3.  I have a beautiful wife/girlfriend. (both or just one)

4.  I have family & friends who love me.

5.  I have alot of money and things.

  That is on order of importance.  Money is not everything, but it sure can help.  Family is forever, friends are just people that I know.  Happiness is everything.  Alive is just a requirement that some of us have trouble with.  You would know why I hope to be alive if you have ever been in my car with me driving.

  I am about to go and do something that kinda scares me.  I am going to apply for trade school to become an electrical apprentice.  First off, I am nervous that I am not going to get in.  Second, this is a career move.  I have never done anything in my entire life that I would consider a ‘career move.’  I don’t even know if this is what I want to do for the rest of my life.  I know that this is not permanent so I am not extremely worried, but this does mean that college is officially over for me.  It feels weird to not be going to school in the fall.  Really weird.  I have been in school for the past 16 years of my life.  That is 84.2% of my life.  I can’t believe that I am about to turn my back on 84.2% of my life and just stop going to school.

ALL THE SHIT BELOW IS OLD AND STUPID.  I AM EMBARRASSED THAT I WROTE IT.

I got really bored and just started to write a page and this is the result of that 15 minutes of pure boredom.  What can I say, I got hooked and did not want to stop writing until there was at least some good shit on this otherwise boring ass page.  

Who am I?  I am a stupid white guy from Portland.  I am a hater of mullets and even more a lover of the Dodge Viper.  With a wonderfully tuned 8.0 liter V-10 engine pushing out 450 Horsepower, this thing that I love so much does not belong with this thing that I hate with all of my heart.  This reminds me of a time that I was going to the movies...

    I was sitting there in the front seat of my piece of shit jetta, early for a movie.  I was parked next to a brand new Viper, it was white and had blue racing stripes.  Me and my stepbrother candidly tried to guess who would climb into this wonderful piece of machinery.  What we were about to see began my vengeance.  I saw a man with a relatively attractive older woman (she was a milf) and he was strolling out of that damn movie like he was the shit.  Of course, I assumed he thought he was the shit because he was wearing his mullet with pride.  I was wrong.  This man unlocked the door for the lady and went around to the other side to take his place in the drivers seat of the GTS.  At this point I could not breathe and was having trouble comprehending the fact that a man with a gnarly mullet just got into the car of my dreams.  This is a travesty!  The mullet should be outlawed and the person that sold that Viper to that man should be hanged.  This is just what I think.

I thought that this was funny. And yes, I noticed that cancel was spelled 'cansel'. I did not make this.  That's all.

This is funny shit.  My stepbrother got a photo radar ticket while in his work truck.  He brought it home and   Anyway, we took the picture and did a little artwork this is the end result of what we had done and it actually looks pretty funny.  In case you can't make it out, it is a picture of him behind the wheel flipping the camera off.  I know its nothing professional, but it took like two minutes to do and I took that picture with a webcam, the scanner is broken, that is why it is so blurry.

Here is a little story about a dumpster...

Mike, J.R. and Dan were riding along in Mike's car one night at Seaside.  The place was swarming with cops and they were out to get 17-25 year olds.  Anyway we were going along in my car and Dan and JR had to pee REAL bad so I stopped in an empty parking lot and they proceeded to urinate upon a dumpster.  I remember the distinct sound of NWA's "Fuck tha Police" playing in the background.  I noticeed that two men were walking into the parkinglot and i knew that they were cops.  This was a bad thing and I whispered to Dan and JR that there were cops in the parking lot and that they had better hurry.  Dan immediately started walking toward my car with his schlong still hanging out.  JR calmly finished peeing and walked to the car, all the while Dan was in the car telling me to leave JR and just go.  JR got in the car and told me to just drive.  In Seaside during SB, you DO NOT just drive away from a cop, you will get pulled over in less than a block.  I went over to the police officers in the parking lot and they asked Dan and JR what they were doing over by the dumpster (the dumpster was by the river).  Dan's reply: "We were just admiring the river, sir!".  He sounded so enthusiastic.  The officer asked "Were ya lookin' at the river, or were ya peein on that dumpster?".  I guess you can't lie to them police...

  This is MY webpage.   MINE!  not yours.