This Page is filled with my life
So, please don't fall asleep


Last Thursday night I went to prom! I went with my girlfreind Sarah and she looked beautiful! We rode in a limo with my freinds Jason and Heather. Then we went to a restaraunt to eat. I was so nervous but I relaxed after we ate. I had a blast, mainly because I was there with Sarah. Sarah and I slow danced to almost all of the slow songs. I could go on into great detail of all that happened but I won't... I am very scared right now. I am scared to do things I have not done before. Soon I will have to get a job and start driving and I am afraid to do that, but I have to.

6/4/2001 I am going to start summer school tomorrow. I have a car now but I do not have a lisence. My girl friend Sarah is in Tennesse, so I miss her. My family is confusing the hell out of me. That sums up my life right now. It is really ticking me off that I can not get my web pages looking interesting... 6/11/2001 Last Friday I went Skateboarding with my friend Amy. I tried to skateboard but I suck. I ended up scraping and brusing the heck out of my right thigh and I banged up my knees. Oh ya, I drove yesterday afternoon. I ended up scaring my cousin on the first trip because I was huging the white line and I turned into a gas station going about 30 mph. I was so damn nervous and my padre and cousin did not help much. On the way back I did better. Saaaaaaarrrrrrraaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!! If you are reading this e-mail me. I miss you!!!!!!!!!!!! 7/8/2001 I went skateboarding last night with Amy and I only fell three times. It was tight, I dropped in the half pipe and I did not fall! I also bought my first skateboard which is tight. It has a soft, smooth feeling when I ride it. I had a great time chillin' with Amy. I hope I will get to see my girlfriend before she leaves again to go somewhere. I am going back to summer school tomorrow after my summer break(the 4th of July week). Well that is all I have to say for now... 7/12/2001 On Tuesday, July 10 around 7:00 p.m. my girlfriend broke up with me. I feel like it is all my falt. Any ways after that I walked out of her neighborhood and started to cry. I am such a baby. Then I walked to a gas station up the road. There I got some food and chatted with my friend Katrinna. Then I left the gas station and started walked to one of my friends' house to get my car. But I got 1/4 of the way there and another one of my friends picked me up. I rode with him and his girlfriend until 9:30 p.m. when they dropped me off at my Uncle's. Then I talked to my cous' and I felt better. I still feel bad today but Tuesday from about 7:00 p.m. to about 10:30 p.m. I felt like shit, like really bad shit... 7/28/2001 Well Sunday I turned 18. I had the best birthday party I have ever had. I got drunk and lifted weights ,then watched "What Women Want" and during that time had a great time with some of my college friends. That is what I call a great Birthday Party. I am still in summer school. I hope that I only have a week left, but I do not know. Monday I went to get my Senior Pictures taken ,which I will probably look ugly in because I got hair cut. I got my head buzzed and think it looks bad. While ,during ,and after my Senior Pictures I hung out with some of my High School Friends. Friday I was going to mow but my friends Amy was going skateboard so I was go to go skateboarding. She was going to pick me up but I was late and could not find her so I guess she left with out me. I hope she did not wait too long. I was sad that I missed her. I enjoy chillin' with her. Last night I meet a cool girl on AIM. We talk for 4.5 hours. That is the longest I have ever talked to anyone. We seem to have a lot in common. She is very sweet and smart and also very beautiful. I was going to mow today but it was raining, so instead I helped my Uncle pick corn and apples. What can I say I live in the country and I am a country boy that is slighty cityfide... 8/2/2001 Last Friday I went to Dejavu. It is a Strip Club and the first one I have been to. I felt weird being there at all but I got lap dance from one stripper named Jordan(her stage name not her real name). After my first dance from her I had a blast. I might go back but Jordan is the only one I would want a dance from. I mowed another 4 yards(not distance but that which is around peoples' house with grass) this week. Well I am still single which is killing me. So to all my ANGELS(All my EX's and female-friends) I love you all. My life would feel totaly meaningless without all of you and I would have no hope... 8/25/2001 I am back in school!!!. I am taking Advanced Math Topics( basicly Calculus), Spanish 1, Cisco 1(Networking), and ?SpreadSheets?(basicly using Excel. My Ex-girlfriend talked to me! I miss her. I am still mowing yards. I have not heard from my friend Amy for a while. I miss hang out with her and talking to her... 09/09/2001 As you read my dairy my thoughts and feelings may change a full 180 degrees so sorry if I confuse you but I am confused. Well I have a girlfriend. She is real smart, and very beautiful and she is a freshmen. She is great, I can not believe that she likes me but I am glad she does. Well I am still do not have my liscence and I am still mowing. One of good online friends confessed that she was 14 because when we first started chatting she told me that she was 17. She thought that I was going to be mad at her ,but I told her that it was okay I still wanted to talk to her. She thought that if I know she was 14 that I would not want to talk to her with me being 17 at the time. Man this world is blowing my mind. Friday night was a real interesting night. I went to my girlfriend's sister birthday party ,because her sister invited me so me ang my girlfriend could spend some time together. I want to spend alot more time with her so we can get to know each other well. I drove some Saturday night. I was tense and did not drive profeccently but then I relaxed and drove well... 09/14/2001 Well my girlfriend broke up with me. :( A couple of girls told me that the it would be nice if there were more guys like me. That boosted my self-esteem a lot. Thank you to those girls. That is about all that has happened to me lately. Before I leave I have to say this, to all the girls in my life I love you all and to the ones that treat me with respect( that do not lie to me and try not to hurt me) thanks for being my friend... 09/14/2001 I went to the Homecoming Football game and dance friday night. I got hooked up with Jennifer. We slow dance most of the night. She is a pretty fine girl. I drove some tuesday, and I learned how to parellel park and worked on doing a turn-about. So life is still p*ssing me off a little bit. All the stuff that happened last tuesday still feels unbelievable. I still have not seen Amy. I have at least three yards to mow from tuesday till thursday. I now want to get my lisence but I can not go driving now. When I want to do sh*t I need to do I can not do it but when I do not want to do it I have to. Irony sucks. Anyways I hope I get to see Jennifer soon. Yo, Jen I love ya girl. Well I am going back to school tomorrow but now it will not be the same. Well I leave by saying whats in my heart. To my peeps stay real yo and Lots Of Love. Beth thank you for being my best friend. You are a good girl and will grow up to be a good women. I got to real not fake like I act some times. Man, life is trippin me out... 10/19/2001 Well I have my lisence now but my car has died on me twice. I got to see Jen last Saturday for about 10 minutes. :( I have some more mowing to do. I am an adult, 18 years old. I have a lot of growing up to do. Miss my girl, Jen. I can't believe that we have been going out for over a month now. That is probably because I have only gotten to see her twice since the day we started going out. All I know is that I care about her and I want to be with her... 11/3/2001 Okay this is what has been going on. I have been working in tobacco, well stripping it. I have gotten my car half-way fixed. I have gone to two Halloween parties( Angel invited me to the Haunted House her mom made and party(I was a zombie in the haunted house, Angel's mom is interesting, Angel is cool, but I did not see Crystal.)(The best time I had was when I was riding in Angel's mom's car and was talking to Angel and then I talked to Angel's mom) and Laura invited me to one that her apartment mananger had( I seen my friend Lee Wurly. I was a judge for the costume contest, Laura won First place! After the party I drive someone from school home(He had been dranking and the only ride he could get was from an off-duty cop, so I said I could take him home.)I have not seen my girlfriend for three weeks; I think I no longer have on. Well, I have a question "What is love?". If you read this I would appreciate it if you would e-mail me your opinion on love. My friend Angel has not was not at school from monday-thursday, and I did not go to school on Friday. I hope she is alright. Well like always I probably have not made any sence but thats me. Oh yeah, my money is running out, it sucks being poor. Well Bye Bye... 11/6/2001 Well no word still from my girlfriend. I have been working in tobacco Friday, Saturday, and Monday. Well I have not done much else. Well if any one I know reads this "Hi", e-mail me some time... 11/21/2001 My car is died again and I am filled with anger and confusion and hopelessness, which is nothing new but it really sucks. Tomorrow is Thanks Giving and I would like to sleep through the whole day. One of my girlfriend's friends gave me my girlfriends numbers. Well I hope I will figure it all out. I hope I will. One of my friends scaned my senior pic for me so I now have a digital picture of myself that I can put on my web page... 12/09/2001 I am single again. Started back up going to winter school. Been going to McDonalds after School. My friend Amanda works there and she usually gets me a discount. I went off on the bus again. Oh yeah, Thursday I went into the girls bathroom, nothing bad one of my friends needed a light so I went in there with her till she got her cigarette lit( no one was in there except for one girl fixing her hair in the mirror. I asked Taresa(she use to drive on of the buses I rode) if she would marry me( joking with her). She turned me down :( :) Anyways tonight I went to see my cousin Jill perform in a Christmas play for her church. She played a nurse and also an Angel. Well I also went on a Spanish field trip Monday and got to eat at Waffle House. I hang out with Matt, Sally, and Friddle. On the bus I sat with Matt and Sarah... 12/17/2001 Well I went to the Christmas dance Saturday. It was great, mainly because Nikki was there. My friend Nicole dance with me half of the dance. I got my picture taken with Nikki, Kala, Beth ,and her boyfriend Jeremy. Sally looked different but good. I hang out with my friend Freemen too. It got my mom to pick up my friend Angel(my cars are broke down and I am screwed). I turned in a application in at McDonald, but they are not hiring now. Niether is almost anywhere else... 1/21/2002 Well it has been a long time since I have updated my diary and alot of stuff has happened. Well lets see, I joined the Marines. I am taking ROTC so I will be ready for basic training this summer. Sarah and Beth are in my ROTC class. I leave July 1. I had my first party over christmas break. I spent part of Christmas and New Year's Eve at my grandfather's. For Christmas day I went to my neighbors. I am back in school. I went the weekend before last to a poolee meeting at the Marine Recruting office. My friend Amanda picked me and Craig up and we played basketball against another Recruting office. Friday I went to the movies with my friend Angel and her family. She tried to get me and her friend to hook up. I then went to Midnight Bingo with Angel's mom. I saw Katie at the bingo hall. I stayed the night at Angel's. Do not be getting the wrong ideal I slept on a couch. Then Saturday I wnet sleding with her family. The first time sled I went over a snow ramp and the sled came out from under me and my legs went up and my head was near my feet and I landed on my back. After that I my aunt and cous came a got me and I went back to my uncle's. Last night I went to Pilot to get some smokes. My friend Travis gave me a ride if I got him a sub. I got a sub and a pack of Ports and Reds. When I went up to the register to get the cigerrettes, he ask the women at the register if she knew what position you have to be in to have a ugly baby. And then he said I don't know ask your mom. It was a joke but she did not know him and did not think it was funny.... 1/27/2002 I went to the Home Coming Dance friday. I dance with a girl named Kelly. My friend Kala asked her if she would go out with me. Guess what, she said no. But I had a blast because I did not sweat over the rejection and I just wanted to have a good time. I ..... 4/28/2002 Well, I have two more ex's since my last entry. I went to the Marine Corp. Ball, Thunder Over Louisville. I played on the ROTC basketball team. I got a medal for shooting expert the second highest level in ROTC. I am still going to ESS. Beth is getting on my nerves. Laura moved to West Virgina, I said good bye thursday, she left friday. Coleen left friday morning. I miss them, My Morning is gone. .If Chris tells any girl I know that they are fat or disses them in anyway that will make my mad I am going to go off on him. He is a little bitch! Not really, its just that how he be is fuckin' buggin' me. Life still sucks, mi no me gusta being white tralior trash. Well, that is true I am saying fuck it. People think that I don't care but I do. They are stupid little shits that are pissing me off. I am going to show them little bitches and give them no respect baby. Yeah, I have no motivation, those bastards killed me a long time ago. They fucked me up and they expect me to act normal, fuck that. I might be crazy. That is bullshit. I am not crazy they are just closed minded stupid little cocksucking bitches. To most of my exes and Sarah, Kim, Tiffany, and the rest of my peps. But the rest of you, fuck off. And goodnight. P.S. To the girls who just want to fuck me, I am gay, if there are guys that want to fuck me I am not gay. To the girls that don't trust me, I am trying to get you to let me fuck you or anything at least get some head from you. I am telling you what you all fucking believe but all of it is a bullshit lie. Truthfully to the girls that care about me, I love ya, and think you.... 6/9/2002 Schools out. Kim is in Coasta Rica until the 16th. Sunday the night before she left I walked from her house to Jerry's which took me about 5 hours. I went for my interview for my Security Clearance wendesday. I went to Lara's 18th Birthday party last sunday. I left my wallet at the park were they had the party. They sung Kareoke. Left the knees of my pants and socks in Kim's parents mini-van. I stoped by Lara's to get my wallet wendesday. I did not stay long anough to see her. I lost my virginity today(not!) but I did some time between today and my last entry. 20/72/50, 1 to 3 ain't bad. That seems to be my average. If you try to guess what all that means you will not be right. It is very simple but not something you could guess. I stopped by Nikki's yesterday. I hung out with her and her sister for a while and then they left and got Kayla. I hung out with all of them for a couple of minutes. Talked to Sarah and Nikki, they are the only friends of mine that I have talked to, this summer yet on the phone. Tiffany is somewhere, I hope safe. Collen is somewhere, I hope safe too.... 8/21/2002 I am 19 now. I still do not have my diploma, but hopefully I will get it. I am going to try to stop smoking again. I write how long this quiting streak lasts. Well, Kim broke up with me over a month ago. Last year Sarah broke up with me on July the 10th and this year Kim broke up with me on July the 8th. I need to beware the evens of July. I went out with another Kim after the previous Kim broke up with me. The relationship with the second Kim lasted about two days I would say. So I am single once again. Now I have about 3 months until I leave for basic. So going into the Marines is either a mistake that will mess up the rest of my life and my dreams, or it will the catalyst for me to obtain my dreams. I am doing corispondence courses to complete my english cousres I need to graduate. I have been working on a 1/2 credit for English 3 and a 1/2 credit for English 4. I hope I will complete those and every thing else that I need to complete. I talked to Beth on the phone. She still has her man. She is !N/V! I am going to try to call Angel, Sarah, and Kayla. I get the chance to chill with them....