>
April 13, 2001
April 13, 2001
It was a long dream. It seems like part of it we were on vacation with Michael...I remember specifically one part where we were trying to take a picture of a ship sinking and my camera was getting wet because we were in the water. Then we were looking at the inner tube things looking for one for four people..and that took us to this weird room lit with blacklight where older kids were skating and riding scooters, and the room was made of rubber so they were throwing stuff everywhere watching it bounce off the walls, so I took who I was holding and left. It later turned out I was holding a small poodle, and walked around looking at stuff in shops until it was time to go. I was mad when we left because we spent a bunch of money and didn't do all the stuff. It was Universal Studios, but none of the stuff was stuff I remember from there. Then we (me and I think Genie) were walking around, I get the feeling it was my last day somewhere and I think it was Cali. I was shopping for things to bring home. I went into this weird store with a DJ in the back and started looking at records, then saw these really cool books to bring everyone for 2.95. They were called keepsake ovens and they had a hole in the pages, and some regular pages, so you could put little things in there and write about them, and the books were covered with this handmade brown paper that was really beautiful and they tied with string. I picked up a bunch of those and went around the counter to the back, and was looking at clothes on sale when I saw a receipt with my name on it and remembered I had been there before. I talked to the guy about it, saying that's so funny I was here like 6 weeks ago from (somewhere far away) and then I come back and there's my receipt sitting there! and he and his friend were trying to place me...then we started talking about the record that was playing (the Fat Boys) and where he got it and how I had bought it for a friend of mine (which I was lying about, for some reason) some girl brings them food, I gather it's the one guy's wife...then Jess walks in and is relly PISSED because she couldn't find me; she took an ambulance home, and we argue about that until she turns into Hannah and I'm asking her didn't she remember my cell phone number, etc. etc...(chronology might be wrong here.) At some point we (the wife and I) are watching the guys from the shop surf. We're at their house, I guess, overlooking the beach, sitting there drinking beer. I don't remember drinking but I remember the brown bottles and the patio table made of glass. Then I'm watching this lady teach her kid to ride a play tractor with pedals and he flips over and says to her, there's something wrong with the wheels, mommy...so we are pushing him backwards so he can try again, I am making car sounds, and we push him far, over railroad tracks (that were green), etc...We are on the beach and above us is a shopping/restarant area. Then everyone involved in the tractor thing is in this covered area, and somehow this giant golden retriever is climbed up on the tractor so the kid can't go, and trying to climb in the seat with him. Then I hear Hannah say, 2 people can ride in that! So I say run up there and get in. And I'm up, away from them now. Before I was laying there with the dog. She is tiny here, just under 2 years old. I tell her to throw me a tennis ball so I can throw it for the dog, who belongs to Blake. (but the person who I am calling Blake isn't the person I know as him)It takes her a couple of tries to get it to me. So I throw the ball and it gets in the water and off goes the dog. My boyfriend I guess, (I don't recognize him) is shaking his head and laughing at me. The dog flops around in the water a bit and can't see the ball right in front of him, so I go after it, and pounce on it, then see a huge wave, so I try to go under the wave. I remember breathing underwater and thinking, I can't do this, and stopping. Then my grandmother's wedding ring started to slip off my finger and I thought distinctly "first things first" and I got the ring on my middle finger so it wouldn't slip.At this point I was on my back and I was waiting the wave out, waiting for it to break above me and clear so I could come up. Then I was out of the water and I was looking around for everyone and I began to panic. A couple of times I pried my eyes open (trying to wake up) and then I saw my mom through the window of a restaurant I guess, she was standing up. Looked like a teacher thing, I think people were wearing nametags. I had this weird feeling...can't describe it-something like if this is a dream then I won't be able to yell because it will wake me up (kind of like when I hit someone in a dream and it's always in slow motion and doesn't hurt them). So I started screaming for her, through the window, MOM, MOM, MOM... and I could hear myself and I knew it wasn't a dream and gradually everyone around me faded away and I realized I was dead. I ran down the beach screaming for Blake, for the dog...then I was walking in the amusement park shopping area (which was empty) thinking to myself, I am not done, I can't spend forever writing ...(I think the phrase was bedroom secrets)..for stupid magazines...I tried to pry my eyes open a bunch of timed during this, tried to wake up.I was crying hysterically. I wandered until I found my car, which was wet because it had been raining, and the guys that were surfing were putting their boards away in their car in front of it (I am above all this, and the cars are in a clearing in the woods)I was yelling for them too... That's when I said, please, god please let me wake up and I will listen to them, not the Christian stuff but I will listen I swear. And I woke up. needless to say I am fucking freaked out. That's the second death dream I've had in a month that I really thought I was dead, and to have the deal with god thing thrown in just isn't cool.
next
Journal Home
