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Dream Gone Wrong

By Raven Pan, With special thanks to Shawn Lovelett for help with Face and Ton, and to Alison Sky for use of Mike Phanan

[C] Shadoedancer Creations 2k2

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*******Three Years after Endor*******

"Thus concludes another action adventure serial of, Face: Jokester at Large."

"And the crowd demands back their money," Ton responded dryly as he took a sip of the lomin ale before him.

"Got a wire in your eye?" Face asked, looking at Ton curiously.

Ton and Face stood in the Folor Base starfighter bay, the former impatiently listening to the latter. A young teenaged boy entered, the Doctor Talitha Anreson on his heels.

As the woman entered, she looked up and froze. No, it can't be! her mind reeled, and it was too much to handle. She fell to the floor, unconscious.

Face looked over at her curiously. He looked back at his friend, "You think she's alright?"

"No, they always pass out when they're stunned by my handsome and dawning figure," Ton remarked.

"I still think there's a wire in front of your eye," Face told him.

"Oh joy," he sighed. Then something caught up with him. "Wait a second... I'd recognise that faint anywhere." Quickly he went to the unconscious woman's side. "Anreson!"

Face blinked in confusion. "You know, this is what I get for staying out of his life before I met him."

Slowly, her eyes blinked open. "Ton? You came back!" She threw her arms around him, hugging him tightly.

"Yes, yes I am back."

"And he's fully recharged," Face put in.

"Stay out of this," Ton growled at him.

"Uh oh," the teenaged boy backed away. He recognised Ton from the picture Dr. Anreson had of him in her quarters. "Mushy moment. I'm outta here."

"Tell me about it," Face rolled his eyes.

"Hey, Face, let's go meet Ton's half sister. I hear my aunt is rich, and hot."

"Wow, an amazing combination I like. Are you old enough to drink?"

"Depends," Mike Phanan shrugged. "Can I use my fake ID?"

"Sure, I'll teach you how to throw your voice too. It's amazing."

"Learn to throw your voice, amuse your friends and have a party! Just call Betelguese!"

Face messed with his hair easily, "Right, well off to the bar."

"Yeah! Bar! Time to get freshnekkid!" Mike led the way from the starfighter bay.

Ton smiled down at the woman holding tightly to him. "Took me a while, and some trouble, but I'm back."

She moved back and slapped him. "Don't EVER do that again!"

He rubbed his cheek slowly, "Geez, if I wasn't so starved for affection, I'd swear you were mad at me!"

Anreson raised an eyebrow.

"I swear," he mumbled as he continued to rub his cheek. Then he helped her to her feet as he gained his own. "What next. You're going to kiss me while stabbing a vibroblade in my chest?"

"If you disappear again, leaving just a note, I might," she mock scowled at him. Then she hugged him again. "I'm glad you're back, though."

"I swear. . . Why did I want to marry you again? Oh yes, now I remember - you said you were going to shoot off that most important thing that I love most. My face," he told her in his bemused humour.

She chuckled, "And I thought it was the bedside manner, silly me," the joking sarcasm in her voice was a perfect match for his own.

"Nah, Beautiful, I save that for the special people - like people who I wouldn't mind seeing walk off a cliff."

She stepped back, "Speaking of cliffs. . . ."

"Should I be worried?"

She shook her head, "No. Never."

"Great. So, still got dinner waiting for me?"

"What am I, your cook?"

"I don't know," Ton shrugged. "I just spent a few hours listening to Face's rendition of his old holo movies, and right now I feel like eating something."

Anreson smirked as she headed toward the hanger fridge, "Bacta soup?"

"You really want to kill me, don't you?"

"More than anything, Love."

"Keep talking like that, and I will kiss you."

She returned with a candy bar and smiled. "Don't you dare," she teased.

"You missed me. Admit it."

"What if I don't want to?" she asked, still teasing.

In one smoothe motion, he grabbed her arm and moved in close to her. He kissed her deeply, his beard crushing against her soft features, his one eye closing as the glowing eye dimmed.

She was caught by surprise, and melted against him a moment before jokingly pushing him away. "You fool! I cut my lip earlier, there's probably still bacta on my mouth!"

His face twisted in anger. "Sure, I got you. So, I was right. . . ." He turned away from her, moving a few steps away. "I was wrong to come back. Not like this, anyway."

She moved forward and put a hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry. . . it was a joke. . . ."

He jerked away from her, the damage having already been done.

She turned away from him, hugging herself, "I'm sorry," she said again quietly.

"Who's the kid?" He asked, his voice weak and heavy from the years of scorn.

"He's yourse. Not mine, yourse, he was born before we met. He's a good kid."

Ton's flesh hand tightened lightly into a fist, then slowly released. He took in a deep breath. "How'd you meet?"

Her voice wavered as she tried not to cry. "He got recruited to Intel."

"He deserves. . ." Ton waved a hand, though she couldn't see. "Better than this. You deserve better than this," he said, taking a slow glance around the old starfighter bay.

But I want you. "Ton," she spoke softly, "Please. . . ."

He raised his hand, the only hand he truley had. "No. I. . . I just want to know. Why aren't you. . . with someone? Why didn't you listen to me?"

"I kept hoping you would come back? It's only been, what, three years?"

"You stubborn girl."

"I always have been," she said, still afraid to look at him, lest he see the tears streaming down her cheeks.

He shook his head in thought.

"I. . . I still have the letter," she said quietly, breaking the uneasy silence.

"Litha, why?" He gritted his teeth as anger surged through him. "Why didn't you listen to me? I . . . I . . . It would make it so much easier."

She turned to look at him with fire in her eyes, ignoring the tears that stained her cheeks. "Easier? How would it be easier? Tell me, Ton, because apparently I am too stupid to figure it out for myself."

He turned slightly, letting the shadows hide the metal only for a moment, so he could be, to her, the man he once was. "You. . . don't understand the hell that I have been through! The looks. The . . . the . . . ARRAUGH!" He raised his hand in anger, clenching it into a fist, "Damnit!"

"Running and hiding isn't hell. Being left behind as your heart is torn to pieces so small even a microscope couldn't pick them up . . . not knowing what happened . . . not even being able to . . . ." She ran to him and hugged him tightly. "It shouldn't matter," she said softly. She then stood tiptoe and softly kissed the place on his jaw where metel met flesh, "Looks aren't who you are," she told him, holding him tightly, and resting her head against his chest once more, breathing in the unique scent that was his alone.

"Litha, I . . ." his voice caught in his throat as he felt her against him. As he breathed in the spicy scent of her hair. But the prosthetic arm raised, and he caught sight of it. The hatred flowed back into him, quickly followed by the anger. "You don't deserve a walking medical bed. You deserve someone who is whole, someone who doesn't need a technician when something fouls up."

"If you leave me again, I will die," she told him bluntly, in complete honesty. She held tightly to him, afraid that if she let go, he would disappear.

His head lowered a moment, and she felt him softly kiss her forehead. "This isn't right, you and I both know that. Damnit Litha. . . . Why couldn't you have listened to me for once?" His voice trailed off as he closed his one human eye.

"Do you want to know the real reason?" she asked softly, her voice slightly muffled against his flightsuit. She huddled against him as though he could banish all her fears.

"Yes."

"I died, and my life . . ." she sighed. "My life became a living mask."

"My body died long before that. You know that I'm just a walking shell. Sithspit, Litha, I can't keep flying forever. It's just a numbers game now. Soon, there isn't going to be anything left."

"You once told me that True Love conqured anything. Can't you believe it? I want to. . . ."

He let out a long shuddering sigh, his entire body shaking as he did so. "Litha, it doesn't work like that. Real life . . . just doesn't work like that."

"Real life doesn't exist then," she told him stubbornly. "Just this one."

"Find someone who is a whole man. Raise the boy. Just don't forget me," he whispered to her as he let go, turning his back to her as he moved toward his X-wing.

"Please . . . Ton!" she called after him. "Ton, don't leave me, it would murder me." Finally able to unfreeze her feet from the floor, she ran after him, grabbing his arm.

He stopped a moment, turning his head so only the metal was exposed to her vision. "Listen to me. Find someone. Someone who deserves you, not me. . . . I'm more machine now than a man, just . . . find someone."

"You promised me, you promised when the war was over we'd marry. Please, don't go."

"The war isn't over. It's far from over, and the way it's going, it'll never end."

"Don't you get it?!" she nearly shouted. "I don't care about the machine. I love You, Ton Phanan. I love your mind, your soul, your spirit. Please," she pleaded with him one last time to stay.

He let out a tired sigh and shook his head. "I saw . . . I saw the rejection in your eyes."

"Rejection?" She repeated in confusion. "There's no-"

"I can't put you through it, it would kill me. Just, please, listen to me for once. Find someone who can give you a future."

"I can't promise you that, Ton. I wont promise you that!"

He turned and moved to his waiting X-wing. I need to think things out, I. . . .

She hugged herself. "I can't promise, because when you leave . . . I'll be dead by morning."

Her words fell short, drowned out by the sound of the X-wing's engines warming up. Her heart died a final time as the X-wing lifted and headed out to the Mag-con field.

Numbly she shoved a hand in her pocket, and moved toward the back of the bay, a place where pilots occasionally congregated to talk, but was currently silent. The entire bay was silent. Her hand came in contact with the laser scalpel and vibroblades she kept there as a sort of protection.

She pulled out the vibroblade, then flicked it on, watching as it moved in its quick rhythm. "I wonder if I can feel anything anymore?" she said quietly, lightly tracing the blade along her forearm, leaving thin trails of blood in its wake.

She sat like this in the bay for over an hour, each pass bringing the blade a little more strongly to bear. "I don't feel anything," she mused aloud as she switched hands, and began tracing on her other arm.

"Nothing!" She shouted to the empty bay as she quickly gashed her wrist open, watching in morbid facination as her blood seeped from the wound and fell to the ground. She switched the vibroblade to her other hand, and repeated the motion on her opposite wrist.

She sat with her back against the wall, watching the life-blood flow into neat little puddles beside her.

"I still don't feel anything. Is that what the end is supposed to be, numbness?" she wondered.

The sound of a starfighter landing in the bay barely reached her attention. Tired... I am so very tired of all of this lie, she thought to herself.

Grey ate away at the edges of her vision as she slumped against the wall. She barely heard the distant footsteps heading in her direction. She barely heard the slow amble turn into a run.

"I'll always love you, Ton Phanan," she whispered, her words slurred by weakness. "And I'll watch over you forever." Her dark eyes closed softly, her long black hair falling over her shoulders as she fell to her side.

"NO!" Ton screamed as he heard her words. He reached to pick her up in his arms and cradle her to his chest. "No, Litha... No.... You're supposed to live," he told her over and again.

Her eyes fluttered open, one final time. "I'll never leave you, Ton," she whispered. There was a final shuddering breath, let out in a graceful sigh.

Tears filled Ton's right eye as he watched the life leave his beloved's dark eyes. She was limp in his arms.

Tears streamed down his cheek as he cradled her tightly to himself, rocking her body gently and ignorant of the warm blood he knelt in. He looked down to her still open eyes, and reached up with his flesh hand to gently close them.

She looked as though she slept.

Gently, he cradled her against him, one hand holding hers as he brushed her hair out of her face. Then, something unexpected happened. Slowly, it seemed as though she faded away. Not just because her soul had fled her body, but the body itself, began to fade.

Soon, he found himself clutching nothing but a flightsuit. Something was in his hand. The hand that had held her swiftly cooling one. He opened it to find a ring. The ring he'd given her on their engagement. He held it tightly in his fist and grasped the empty clothes to himself as he screamed in anguish.

"Talitha!!!!!!!"

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She sat up, entwined in her sheets, sweat running down her face and beneath her collar. Looking over to be sure her roomate still slept, Talitha made her way to the 'fresher to take a shower in hopes of calming herself down.

Why would I dream something like that? she wondered shakenly. How could my mind create something so... real?

After several minutes spent trying to calm herself down, she finally sat on the floor of the shower, huddled up, and cried. Though she'd kept trying to regain contact with Ton Phanan all these years, and thought of him daily, she hadn't dreamed of him in a long while. That she would dream their reunion could turn out so horribly, scared her.

What frightened more, was her reaction in the dream... and how real it could be.

What terrified her most was his reaction, and the thought that after all this time.... She shook her head. I wonder... does he ever think of me?

Just then, she was jarred out of her thoughts. The base alarm was sounding for a full evacuation. Quickly she got dressed, and grabbed what was most important to her, shoving those things into a shapeless bag as she and her roomate made for a transport.

"Funny, it seems we just got here," her roomate said as they ran down the halls.

"I don't know about you, but I did - just yesterday. Who would have thought I'd say hello, and goodbye, to Folor base in less than fourty-eight hours?" Talitha laughingly replied.

The two women ran to the hanger just as several starfighters took off to help cover the transports. Quickly, they entered their designated freighter, and strapped themselves in. Soon, the medics, along with the entire population of the base, left Folor behind... some, forever.

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