Yavin Four
This morning, as usual, my dear friend and I hope soon, partner for life, were sitting together around the breakfast table watching and not hearing the buzz of conversation around us. Luke was sipping at an exotic drink made from a recipe an old friend, perhaps it was Lando Calrissian, gave to him. I had tried it and found it not to my tastes.
The light from the planet Yavin slipped in through the cracks in the stone walls as the planet rose. The smell of all different kinds of edibles greeted my nose when I carefully tested the air. The overpowering smell of heavily spiced Correllian cuisine, the bland, almost non-exhistant aroma of processed cubes and a little dash of delicately prepared food from the planet of Naboo surrounded and took over my senses.
The table was clearing now, the hum of voices receeding until there was no one but Luke and I. I leaned into his strong, lean frame and closed my eyes. Soon he would be heading toward the great hall to teach his students about the force and prepare them for their new lives as Jedi. I would be left alone for the day to entertain myself. Once in while, Luke would move something with the Force and set it on my lap, just to let me know he was thinking of me.
Today would be different. I will start recollecting our times together and putting them down, in this very Journal.
Luke stirred next to me, gave me a sqeeze and got up to go to the great hall. I sat on the bench watching him leave. He turned around at the door and winked at me. I smiled. This was all it took to make my day.
RECORD 1
Tattooine
I had just moved from Hape's 51st planet to the dust bin of the Universe. From lush, green forests to sand as far as the eye can see. It was depressing to say the least.
I had loved my home on Hapes. So many friends and the familiarity of the surroundings made me feel happy to be alive even during the times of distress. A typical day in my childhood would consist of playing in the green expanses of our property with friends and exploring the mystical forest where reality seemed to vanish as soon as you stepped under the leafy canopy. Home was heaven to me. It was all I knew.
Then the Empire came and destroyed everything I held close. Many of my friends were force-strong. The Empire took them away and I never saw them again. That is why we left. My family, which includes my Grandmother then, had several relations who also posessed the Force. My brother and my Grandmother included. We had to leave or risk being torn apart.
As I stood outside of our typical family dwelling on day after our arrival, I pondered on what I could do to make my parents lives as miserable as mine was now. I hated them for making me move. Especially here. My father thought this would be the best place, an out-of-the-way planet on the edge of the Universe. That was just like him. Always wanting to be out of the way, to be invisible. He just wanted to blend in. Ha! I remember thinking. Being a rebel in those days was like being a white flower among all the crimson ones. It was a bad career choice for some one who didn't want to be seen.
The weeks that followed our move were dull. A family equiped with several heavy-duty droids didn't exactly need my help. I was left to my thoughts and my wanderings which I did often. I remember wandering into Mos Eisly one day to check out the locals. One look around gave me enough to chew on for several days. There were Hutts, Gameorians, Twiileks, and Rodians, young and old. Disgusting creatures, I thought. I didn't make many more trips outside our homestead after that and never until I was 15 did I think of looking for a playmate or a boyfriend.
. . .
Years later, my situation still hadn't improved. I was still stuck on the only planet I abhored and still living with people I couldn't stand. Slamming the door shut behind me, I stormed out to sit in the family landspeeder. I had just excused myself from the table after hearing my quota of polite arguing. All the subtle chipping away at people's integrity and pride, I just couldn't take it anymore. This planet's isolation was beginning to get to my family and I was glad. Let them feel angry, I thought, Let them get frustrated.
Then it happened. I just snapped. Something inside of me which had been pulled this way and that, strained until it couldn't take it anymore, snapped. I felt the sensation of freedom. My mind jumped from one thought train to another. Finally it settled on a very sinister thought that had been in the recesses of my conciousness for the duration of our life on Tattooine.
I know what I'll do, I thought, I'll get a boyfriend. Some one so outrageously unapprovable by my parents that they'll, if I'm lucky, disown me and cast me away. If my luck runs out, the best I can do is make them furious and that is fine with me. I'll start scouting tomorrow.
A devilish grin crept onto my face. I figured I might as well get a head start on getting under my parents skin, so I powered the landspeeder and let loose.
It was perfect. With the suns setting, the sand whipping at my face, and my hair swept back I felt indestructable. I felt like I could take on my family by myself. I let out a scream of joy. My face was locked in a permanant smile. I laughed, I should have done this a long time ago.
Now the dunes were riddled with shadows as the suns said their last good-byes. I had been riding for several minutes, perhaps even three-quarters of an hour. I checked the fuel gauge. It was low. I squinted ahead. I could see the faint outline of a settlement some 3000 meters away. I'll just fuel up quick and get home before the Sand People get me. The settlement was 1,700 meters and closing now. Only, if I squinted harder, it didn't exactly look like a settlement anymore. It looked more like a bunch of . . .boulders.
I sat rigid in my seat. Okay, don't panic! Just swerve and you'll be fine. I was frozen. Why couldn't I move? Move! My mind screamed, Move now!
Through the terror fought one thought. Hit the emergency brake. I strained to moved my index finger toward the switch. *Click* Nothing happened. I hit it again. Still, nothing happened. I screamed in frustration. Why does this happen to me?! I pounded the switch with my fist. I clawed at the other buttons. Something must stop it. Isn't there a power down switch? My mind went blank. I manuvered my leg up on the seat and slammed my heal on the switch. Just feet away from the towering boulders the landspeeder stopped. I didn't. I flew out of my seat and crashed into the face of the rock formation. My vision darkened as I slid to the ground, then all went black.
. . .
Hours later, my vision came back grudgingly. I felt as if there were two Star Destroyers having the battle of the century in my head. My mouth was dry and my body ached all over. When I brushed my hand across my face it came back stained crimson. I tried to sit up and get my bearings but something kept me down. I tried again and found, once my vision cleared enough for me to see two feet in front of me, that it was not just gravity keeping me down but a tan, sandy haired boy about my age. My throat cleared immediately when I characterized him as a threat. I inhaled deeply and let out the loudest scream I could muster. The boy panicked. He covered my mouth and brought his finger to his lips, "Shhhhh!!! Do you want to notify every Tuskan Raiders in this region of our exact location?"
I bit his hand. "What do you think you're doing, creep?"
His eyebrows raised, "Creep? Creep?! I hope you know that if I hadn't been driving by at the exact moment I was, you could have died!"
I rolled my eyes, "Yeah, sure, I would be dead. Uh-huh. Right."
His eyes flared. He opened his mouth to retort but bit back whatever he was going to say when he saw the look on my face. He looked over his shoulder. "What? Are there Sand People nearby?"
I gulped and whispered, "No, it's not that. I think my life just shortened real quick, though."
He looked puzzled, "How so?"
I pointed to what you could barely call a landspeeder. "That's how so. My parents are going to feed me to the Rancors in tiny pieces when they find out about this."
"Oh that? The Jawas stripped it a while ago."
"And you let them?!"
"Well, yeah, if I would have gotten in their way they probably would have taken me, too."
"Whatever they would have done to you pales in comparison to what I'm going to do to you!"
He grinned at me and I glared at him. "Trust me, you aren't in any condition to even stand much less beat the living daylights out of anyone." He sniffed, "Especially me."
I frowned. "You're awful cocky for a farmboy."
"Who says I'm a farmboy?"
I raised my eyebrow at him. He had a deep brown skin tone that immediately gave him away.
"You know, I'm considered the bad boy down at the Toschii station."
A memory flickered to life. Wasn't I looking for a bad boy? "Uh, hey, you know, I am really thankful you came along when you did. How about we meet up sometime so I can repay you?"
A childish excited-looking grin crept up on his face but he quickly traded it for a slight smile and the reply, "Sure. But first, I have to take you home. It's way past sundown."
I looked up at the dazzling array of stars twinkling in the night. "What exactly were you driving?"
He grinned proudly, "My very own T-16 Skyhopper."
My face fell, "A T-16 Skyhopper?! Those thing are so-"
"I made alot of changes," He added quickly.
I snorted and mumbled, "Let's hope so." He then proceeded to pick me up and carry me to his 'Much Improved' Skyhopper. I'll admit now that he made several very good changes to the vehicle which proved him an excellant mechanic but, of course, I didn't say that then.
By the time we had reached my farm I was able enough to stumble to the doorway amid the boy's protests. I had almost reached the door when I realized I forgot something. "Hey, farmboy, what's your name?"
"It's Luke. Luke Skywalker. What's yours?" He yelled back.
"Mine's Kanah." I turned the knob, and shut the door behind me. Well, I thought, At least the day wasn't a total bust.
A few minutes later, I was grounded. For life, it seemed. My parents were livid that I destroyed the landspeeder and angry that I stayed out past dark. My Grandmother just shook her head and gave me supplies to clean my wounds.
Yavin Four
I'll admit, I'm not quite used to the concept of relating very important and privite parts of my life. Usually, I'm well guarded. Not now. I feel as if I'm stripping off the layers one-by-one.
These records don't hold a very good oppinion of my family. The only good memories I have of them were on Hapes. That wasn't a good place to start. As I've heard, "All's well that ends . . . " The rest doesn't apply.
Luke proposed an idea to me today. He mentioned that he needed a break from teaching for a while and for him that's like needing a break from life. So I agreed and suggested we visit his sister and brother-in-law. We haven't seen them for almost a year now. We leave tomorrow in the morning so we can make it by dinner. Dinner with family can't be missed.
It's dusk now. Yavin has set and purple shadows consume all light. Luke won't be back until I see the pink tendrils of the beginning of a new day. He's off teaching his students to expand their senses. Normally he would drive to Coruscant.
Tomorrow, after all the flight training he's givin me, I'll get to show off--to myself. He'll be sleeping. He won't want to, but I'll make him. He'll need all the energy he can muster for those nephews and niece of his.
. . .
Record II
Tattooine
Needless to say, I didn't heed the fact that I was grounded for the next millenium. The very next day I ventured to nearby Mos Eisly to meet Luke. We didn't say where to meet, but I had a feeling he would be close to the Toschii station.
My suspicions were confirmed when I saw his tousled, sandy head over the crowd.
"Luke!" I yelled, "Over here!"
He turned, smiled and jogged over.
"Hey, how did you know how to find me here?" He said shading his eyes.
"I don't really know. Just a hunch." I confessed.
"Oh. Well, we better pack alot in these next couple days if you want to remember me next season."
"Why is that?"
He rolled his eyes. "The Harvest is coming up. That means more droids, more work, and less fun."
I squinted at him. I was just as tall as him, if not taller. He looked reminded me of my brother in a weird sense. I didn't like that. "Well, what do you suggest we do?"
"We could go to the Toschii Station and I'll introduce you to Camie and the guys."
"I have feeling you don't really want to do that."
"Not particularly." He turned and pointed to a distant point on the horizen. "Out there you can see for miles and the sunset is spectacular."
A passing Twii'leck elbowed me in the ribs. Hard. I doubled over. Luke was immediately at my side.
"Are you okay?"
"Fine." I breathed. Not even a mumble of apology. What a polite planet, I thought.
Luke smiled. "There are no people out there this time of day."
I stood up. "Let's go."
. . .
A few hours later, after taking a terrifying ride in Luke's ricketty old Skyhopper and almost having a heart-attack when he botched the landing, we sat dangling our legs over the side of a small butte. Before us lay a beautiful landscape that showcased hues of tan, pink, purple, and red as the suns slowly set. I looked over at Luke's placid face and wondered what he could possiblely be thinking about.
The silence was golden. All I wanted to do then and for the rest of my life was sit here, with Luke, watching the suns set. I closed my eyes and breathed in the warm dusty air. It was cooler now that night approached. I shivered despite myself. Luke looked over, concerned.
"Are you cold? Do you want to go now?"
I smiled at him and leaned back to rest on my elbows. "I'm fine, really, I just was adjusting to the tempurature change."
He looked dissapointed. "Oh. Okay then. Just tell me when you need something."
I sat up and positioned myself right beside him. "I need you."
He choked on his breath and blinked a couple times. "Excuse me?"
I moved closer to him. "I need you to help me. We have to do something outrageous, something so unacceptable that my parents will never want to see me again. Maybe they'll even ship me off this planet! I don't care what they do just as long as they aren't in my future."
Luke was scared now, I could tell. His breathing was short and fast and his eyes were wide. He gulped. "What do you suggest?"
I bit my lip. "I don't know. I was hoping you could help me with that." I looked at him using my full power of femanin persuasion. He wouldn't resist.
"Well, we could . . .and then there's . . . but we'd have to . . ." He stuttered as he leaned closer to me. I felt his breath on my face. Not a pleasant experience, but I kept my composure. I leaned in a little to look interested.
"How about we . . ." Luke closed his eyes and puckered his lips. Oh no! He was going to kiss me! I hardly know him and already he was going in for the kill! If my parents found out . . . I smiled. My parents will find out and they won't be happy.
I shuddered at the thought of going past kissing with this boy, but what must be done, must be done. He wasn't all that bad. In fact, he was kinda cute.
Luke was making progress like a injured bantha so I lunged for his lips. They met and sparks flew. Well, they were small sparks at most. Luke's eyes popped open and pulled back.
"What the hell was that?!" He said angrily.
"What the hell did you think it was?" I shot back.
He stood up and brushed his clothes off. "I wasn't going to kiss you. I was joking."
"Joking?! You were joking? Why were you so close to my face?" I shouted.
"SHH!" Luke whispered loudly. "Do you want everything to hear you?"
"Oh, go kiss a wookie! Unless, that is, you joke around every time you kiss." I whispered fiercely back.
Luke's eye's flared and his face grew red. I knew I had touched upon a nerve and I wasn't about to let go. I smiled evilly and stood up. I was too angry to think about what would happen if I went any farther on this topic.
"Well, well, well. It looks as if I've struck something, hasn't it?" I jabbed my finger at his face. "That was your first kiss, wasn't it? Or maybe you have lived on this god-forsaken planet for so long, the air just leached any knowledge of romance right out of you."
Luke's face was like stone, giving no hints to his feelings. He said icily, "At least I have planet I can call home."
My temper flared. "I have a home! It's on Hapes where I belong!"
"Is it now? I heard you fled in terror from the government there because your father was a traitor. Some home."
We stood locked eye-to-eye in the fading light. Luke, (although I didn't know at the moment) trying vainly to choke down the urges to insult me once more and I, trying not to cry. I had ruined it. I had ruined the only chance I had at getting off Tattooine and perhaps, love. I had killed off every chance I had with my petty pride and childish insults.
I couldn't take the pressure of his heavy gaze and walked to the Skyhopper.
"Take me home."
. . .
I was 15 then and Luke the same. The ride home was horrible. Silence reigned master and neither one of us challenged. We were terriblely childish and immature, I must admit. When finally we came to a stop in front of my most abhored moisture farm I glared at his boyish face and waited for the impossible, a simple good-night. It never happened.
I walked in the house and more unpleasantness greated me. Apparently, something had happened and the blame was placed on me. Again. This time I freaked out. The emotion duress I was under was too much for me to handle. I went off the deep end.
After screaming at my family about miscellaneous items that had been stored for who knows how many years in the back of my mind, I packed my back and left. For good. Thinking back, I can't seem to remember why I didn't do so before.
After dark, when everyone was sleeping, I slipped out the door and "borrowed" the landspeeder again. This time, it wasn't for a joy ride. I drove to the space port in Mos Eisley to catch a lift to the next planet, system, galaxy, WHATEVER. I just had to get the hell of that planet.
What I did find was a cargo ship just prepping for take off. I saw an opening so I snuck inside and hid behind a crate of extremely foul smelling things. To this day, I still don't know what they were.
In a few hours, the door was closed and we were in deep space. I was freezing and since I didn't think to bring a blanket I curled up with my few possesions I brought with which included one change of clothes, a few saved credits and a picture of my home in Hapes. Food was another thing I forgot and remembered about 12 hours into my trip.
When the ship finally landed (I nearly had a fit of joy I was so happy) the cargo-bay was suddenly opened to reveal, in a blinding flash of light, the man who presumablely was the pilot.
"Hey! What are you doing in here?" The man shouted, obviously suprised to see me.
"Um, I just needed a lift." I replied nervously. What was he going to do to me?
"Well get out of here! You must be freezing! You know, I could get fired for this."
I sighed relief. I wasn't in trouble. I climbed out of the cargo-bay.
The end....for now
