~*Guns don't kill people. I do.*~
~*My kid had sex with your honor student.*~
~*Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs. *~
~*"Lord save me from your followers." *~
~*"I said "no" to drugs, but they just wouldn't listen." *~
~*"Friends don't let Friends drive Naked."*~
~*"Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies." *~
~*"Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... till you can find a rock." *~
~*"Save the planet! (Kill yourself)" *~
~*The gene pool could use a little chlorine*~
~*Sex on television can't hurt you... unless you fall off.*~
~*Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions. *~
~*Sex is like bridge: If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand.*~
~*A drink a day keeps the shrink away.*~
~*Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all of the time and have the time of your life.*~
~*24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?*~
~*I hear voices...and they don't like you*~
