Dear Diary
6/22/01
Today was a pretty crappy day. I got a call from Faith, my best friend, who was pissed that she brokeup with my other best friend, Silent. I talked her down, telling her that she should just wait a week before saying skrew it to their relationship. Then, Chris calls. I had been waiting for him to call since the day before. He told me he'd be over at one. Then, Silent calls, telling me the exact same stuff Faith told me, but also that they got back together. Personally, I'm sick of them always calling me for all of their damn fights. All they ever do is fight! And they never talk about anything except eachother. It's annoying! Anyways, Chris came over, and we watched REAL WORLD- NEW ORLEANS. He was making fun of the gay guy, I don't know any of the REAL WORLD cast, I never watched it. He kept saying that the "fag" was a scardy cat and shit. I asked him nicely about 3 times not to call him a fag. I have a few friends who are gay, and I take offence to anyone calling them fags. Finally, we got into this little fight about it. I won, obviously. After that, he was about to leave when we noticed someone put somekind of glue on his door handle and stick shift. I was pissed. My little bro is such a fucking dick! He always does stuff like that. I'm sick of it! Anyways, about 4 hours later, Chris comes back. He tells me he's gonna go see the FAST AND THE FURIOUS movie. I'm psyched! I've been wanting to go to that movie for a while. I think that guy from PITCH BLACK is such a hottie. Then he tells me that its "guys night out." That sent me over the edge. He drove all the way over to my house to say he was going to MY movie, getting my hopes up, but then that I'm not ALLOWED to go! WHAT AN ASS!!!! He says its because I was gonna see it with Silent. I said that once because he was on this huge ass mocho guy power trip in front of his friends, making fun of me. So I put him down. Then, he shoves it in my face! GRRRRRRR! Guys make me SO mad. I wish I was a lesbian.
6/24/01
Wow! I was right! The only reason my friends are talking to me is because they need to talk to someone about their feelings. I'm so sick of it! I'm getting a big headache. Faith is telling me how she went to the movies and accidentally got set up by a mutual friend. She went to the movies and this guy put the moves on her. I really don't care. I just wanna work on my site and then play with my rat. I don't want to be the one who decides if they are together or not. I don't wanna be there for people who just wanna talk about their SO every waking minute of every single day! Now, she's makin me repeate new information on my rat that I already told her! Goddammit! LEAVE ME ALONE! You are the person who always says they'll be there for me, but leaves everytime Silent comes around! And Silent only wants to be around me for my damm guitar! I wanna fucking kill myself right now. I can't though, I'd miss Chris too much.
7/11/01
Okay, Chris just got back from Vagas monday. It was tuesday when he told me that he was going to be gone for a month to Texas with his best friend Ed. Starting next tuesday. I was so upset about it, i couldn't stop crying. I kept trying to think of what was wrong with me to make him wanna keep leaving me like this. I called Silent who didn't really make me feel better. Silent just told me that Faith was going into the Navy on friday. I think he was trying to make me feel better, but that didn't work. I was crying so bad that i could barely talk. I kept having those damn gasps that wouldn't let me say more than one word at a time. Anyways, I was so upset at Chris leaving because I have this weird defence thing. If I don't see someone for a long period of time, I forget how much I miss them and how much I care about them. I accually lose my feelings for them. At least, untill the person shows up. Then I'm more in love than ever before, but it really sux, cause b4 then, I break up wit the person. I really don't want that to happen between me and Chris. I really do love him, even if he can't say it to me anymore. Ok, now I feel bad again. Oh yeah. He told me today that he's not moving cause of his church. I have no idea what that means, but I'll find out. Later.
9/26/01
My boyfriend is sick! he was sick a week ago, now it's back. I'm redoing the syte, just 4 fun. People are now starting to actually GO to it. I'm sorry 4 changing the subject so fast, but I just wanna get this done. I hope that eventually this syte can be big. I wish. I dunno. I'm in 4 choirs at school now. I'm so happy about that. one problem though. there are some people in my classes with huge attitude problems. i don't wanna get into a big fight this year. it always seems that people just try exceptionally hard to get on my bad side. I don't know why. this year, i am more popular than I have ever been. at least, i think so. lots of people know my name, but since i'm crappy wit names, i don't know theirs. or it'll take me a few minutes to figure it out. i'm now friends with this chick ashley. it was rumored that she was the chick that my first boyfriend was messing around with behind my back. now, i found out he's gone! jail! yea! now, he'll turn gay! he deserves it the damn bastard! so does every other person who kept telling my current boyfriend that he's goin out with jailbird's ex. they deserve to take it up the ass! although they'd probably like that. ne ways, gotta go. lates!