Working in retail means meeting stupid people
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Working in retail means meeting stupid people

As you may know, I work in a book store in Houston. Well, I encounter many, many stupid people every day (and some nice, intelligent ones). I've decided to start adding quotes from my encounters with the dimwitted public. To be fair, if someone says something witty or entertaining, I'll include that as well.
Customer: I'm looking for a song...maybe rock...sung by a guy...called "Come Ride with Me."
Customer: Where ya book on faith?
Customer: The book I want has a white cover, and it's big.
MNB: Do you know the title or any information about it?
Customer: No, but I need it by tomorrow.
Customer: If I have the Cliffs Notes for Julius Caesar, do you think I need the book?
5-10-01:
mnb: Thank you for calling Borders, Westheimer. This is Mike. How can I help you?
caller: I need to speak to Mike, middle intial B., or last initial B. Is he there?
mnb: This is Mike B., how can I help you?
caller: Is Mike there?
mnb: This is Mike. What can I do for you?
caller: I need to speak to Mike.
mnb: You are speaking to Mike.
caller: Is Mike there? What? He's not there?
mnb: You are speaking to Mike. Is there anything I can help you with?
caller: A few moments of silence So Mike's not there? Do you know when he'll be back?
mnb: This is...
caller: Well, I'll call back later.
4-18-01:
Will, a bookseller, said this to me at work while we were discussing bands (he dislikes much of the music that I love). -- "I don't mean to be so competitive, but, you see, I'm drunk." Keep in mind that we were at work.
MNB: I'm sorry, but I don't see a listing for that book. Do you have any more information about it?
Customer: I saw it on the internet! The listing said it was "out of print". Don't you have an "out of print" section in your store?
Customer: I look for "Ass uh pie." You have?
Customer: People need to invest in God.
MNB: I can see that.
Customer: I dug his head up 22 years ago.
Jabbar: I'm like butter baby -- I'm on a roll.
Customer: Can you let me know if you have anything by Tim Buckley? Buckley. Last name "Buckley." Buckley.
Customer: You got "Drabble C" vid-o-tapes?
Please share your own quotes and comments with me by e-mailing me.