8/22/01
This site is not going to be updated much anymore. The reason I started it was so that people all over the world could watch my dumbass short movies. Well now, I've changed my "forte" (I don't think you're suppoused to have the little thing on the e for this one). I'm a guitarist. And as soon as I get together with a band and record something, you'll get MP3s. But as far as content you're not going to see much. It's silly. Who even goes here? I'm tired of personal websites. But I'll leave this page up here. If anything on this page made you laugh, or made you think, go ahead and link to it. Talk to me, I'll probably link to you. This site will still have a purpose, but if you want to laugh, this is no man's land. I hope you've enjoyed the run.
8/6/01
Three new philosophies, which now includes a new feature...BEING STOLEN FROM OTHER PLACES! I also added a few "secret phrases" to my search engine key words. That means that soon whenever anyone types "3 French People," "Wow that's special" "Fred Savage" "awebsite" or "Jimmy Stewart," I'll be one of the few sites up. New technique I'm trying. I just was watching TV and started typing fragments of sentences. Maybe someone else SOMEWHERE is doing the same thing and will find my site. We'll see how this genuis experiment turns out.
Some of my biggest fans, (yes...well, there's a guy in Chicago that made a screen saver out of my short movies on SAZ) remember JCBA? Well it's back, so check it out.
Ah, this is the reason I do what I do.
I was gonna tell you the date, but I got high...
MP3s have been uploaded thanks to the generous Angelfire. Download Afro Man "Cuz I Got High" and others!
If you have MP3s that you think people should hear, submit them.
7/28/01
Little disturbing incident my friend had this morning. He took a picture (yes in his house whenever anyone talks the words appear).
7/27/01
Quake 3 Models are here! DL some! Homer and Bender are already up! Get ready for Krusty, Sonic, Snoopy and Dr. Evil! I didn't make them but I want people to have easy access to them because if someone doesn't have the models on their computer they don't see it.
I have tons of funny ideas for stuff, but here's something I realized: I have so many sections, I start them, and they have little content. So I'm going to start a section just called "Stories," stories about strange characters I think of, or anything funny I can think of, so watch out for that.
It is true that we all love something: it may be fast cars, styrofoam cups, test tubes, or in my case...yo momma BITCH.
7/26/01
God, I never update. For quite some time of been making stuff up or dragging things along just so it seems like I updated. Or I go beyond points I meant to stop at when I write something. Or I make up facts to make a story seem more convincing. But I guess I'll stop doing that.
My new favorite bands (in addition to my long time favs Weezer and Rage Againist the Machine), are At The Drive-In, Jimmy Eat World, and Cake. Check out ATDI especially, they rule!
Speaking of bands, I am on Weezer.net/Weezer.com! Check out this pic. I really should of done some site pimpin', though.
Hmm...I thought it was weird that my tracker said that three people from France had been to my site. Well, I checked the site reference list, I found that a person using the French version of google.com found my site while searching for "Movie Madhouse." And yes, I got you an image of this magic moment. Hey French guy, E-mail me. Check out the pic.
7/22/01
It's ok. You don't have to be alone anymore.
7/19/01
Back at my "crib," I've come to a conclusion after watching hours of TV: whoever is the technical director of MTV is a complete stoner. This is the guy that selects the camera angles for non-videos, and makes sure that the right text goes with the right videos...and let me tell you all of his incredibly stupid mistakes I've seen in TODAY ALONE. It all started after TRL ended, and after that they just show a bunch of videos, but TRL has already ended. You know that little teardrop where the MTV logo and the name of the show rotate? It still said TRL was on, even though it had ended, which I have proof of since I checked what show was suppoused to be on using my cable. Certain video infos appeared in different fonts on direct effect, and...this is the stupidest mistake of all, on MTV2 the world primiere of Kenna's new video had the info at the begining be for Blu Cantrell! They changed it back to Kenna at the end of the video, but the begining was for the "Hit 'Em Up Style." I would like to say that MTV is not keeping it's deep dark secret very secret: MTV Networks is a media cooperation by stoners, for stoners. Good summer telivision, though, and I get to feel like a updated more then I did. :) Isn't that special?
They call Sprite "Lemonade" in Austraila.
If I really hate Scary Old German, I would stop linking to Scary Old German. For example: Scary Old German. I really do hate Scary Old German! But Scary Old German will send me a virus if I don't tell you that Scary Old German updated with a tale, which he says is about me. So in other words, the new story by Scary Old German, is not about Scary Old German. But please don't read Scary Old German, he is an evil man. However, PMDog (he now is demanding that title) dropped a new joint at the bottom of his page. Check out that "shiznet."
7/16/01
I'm writing this at an Internet Cafe in New York. I just want to say I'm having lots of fun, I've shot alot of movie footage, and maybe in a few weeks you'll get some downloadable movies. That's all. Later.
7/09/01
Damn, it's been awhile. I had alot of things distracting me from updating. I'm learning Guitar. I know like 15 chords and I've been playing for less then a month. I feel like I've been playing my whole life. I'm also trying to get into Jazz Ensemble at my school, and to prove my skill I'm taking a guitar lesson with SHEA (UGH!). I wish I could show you my impression of him, but it defines description in words. Hopefully, if I do get into Jazz Ensemble I'll find some guitarists and maybe a drummer intrested in joining my band. Plus, been playing Quake 3 alot (I got a custom model for Sonic, Dr. Evil, RX-78 Gundam, Eminem, Dr. Dre, Mr. Burns, Krusty, A Cow, Bender, and Homer!). There's a hillirous moment when I saw a guy with a Bender model! We were on the same team for CTF! Anyways, if you're expecting content as a reward for listening to an explanation for not adding content, if you've expected the immpossible. If you scroll on the toolbar you'll see a section called "Strange Coincidences" that's been there awhile and didn't tell you about. Good day.
6/30/01
I updated a while ago but didn't write about it. Scary Old German was updated (this time in full on German), and Pothead Philosophy was updated. Read, and be fulfilled.
6/12/01
Cholrox: The Freshmaker!
Go vote for Weezer's "Hash Pipe" on TRL! Vote multiple times if you feel so enclined! Vote!
6/09/01
I think instead of updating humor (I almost spelled that the British way!), I'm going to dance. Can you feel the joy? I know you can.
I was up until now in a terribly bad mood. This was caused by something very specific. It all started on the second to last day of school. I was excited because we were getting yearbooks that day and I always have fun adding funny little things when I sign (I call all my male friends sexy and leave my phone number). But before that we had a slideshow. And that's when the terrible thing happened.
The 8th Grader guidance counsler bitch, showed the worst, ugliest, stupidest, most utterly horrfying picture of me EVER. She was taking photos of people and she told them to be "funny." I had this really stupid idea. I threw my chair on the floor and screamed violenty. I instantly realized how stupid that would look on a huge screen in front of the entire middle school. I begged to get another one. And she said no. I asked if I could have no picture at all. And she said no.
I hereby add her to the international list of evil bitches.
Download one of my amateur DJ works.
5/30/01
Holy squealing choclate sundaes, gang! We all know our good buddy the Pothead Mongoose. Well, the secrets out. A source has informed me that the so called "Mongoose" works for Duke! You'll seen discover that, it is not a Mongoose at all! See for yourself. In the meantime, I managed to find a real Mongoose that enjoys smoking high grade crack. Enjoy!
This man is a flaming bag of mouse poop.
Also, I haven't been updating much cause I was in Chicago. Plus, I'm working on a feature-length movie, entitled "Jordan Schmidt: The Movie." I've already made the intro, gotten some props and filmed a few scenes. Yes, other people will be in the movie. Sad, isn't it?
5/10/01
I'm giving back to the community! If you're depressed, you'll definatly want to learn about my Cure for Depression.
5/04/01
A new Philosophy, which is also a contest! Answer the question in the funniest way and we might post it! So go take a look to get the question and address. The prize for getting on is a link to your site if you have one, and if you ever have something funny we'll consider you more then other people. (By "we" I mean me and my midget friends).
5/02/01
I wrote a new Editorial. And be sure to vote for Tom Green in the MTV Movie Awards for Best Comedic Performance just so we can see him make an acceptance speech! Vote Here! Vote multiple times! MTV doesn't track your IP! Go my minions!
4/26/01
Oh yes...yeah...OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHH yeah...two new Philosophies and a new Gary Coleman Fight VS. Elvis.
4/20/01
New Philosophies up. Also, I found this in the periodical entitled "News Made in Microsoft Paint." Now if you'll excuse me, I'm developing a mathematical equation for self-fellation. Good tidings!
4/19/01
The needles have been dropped. The animals went to little animal heaven. The drugs no longer get him high (we'll get stronger one's later). And thus...the section is complete. Check out the first batch of Pothead Philosophies.
4/16/01
My friend Oliver is working up some brainy and insightful philosophies. Of course, it's with a twist...all philosophies must be presented from the perspective of a pot addict mongoose. For research, he has taken in the liberaty of stealing my stash and performing genetic experiments. We'll see if he's better now then the fucking pile of bodily waste he used to be.
P.S. I GUARNETEE that no staff member is treated with any human deceny whatsoever. You can trust us on that...by "us" I mean "me" because they do not count as part of the populous. See! Instant proof!
4/06/01
Two reviews by Hannibal up today. Take a mouth-watering look at Hannibal's Reviews.
Drop the bong, Little Timmy! The frames are fixed!
4/05/01
Set up the layout today. I'm trying to make it so pages don't all open in a new window. When that's fixed, you can all return to your daily lives and the Earth will be at peace.
Super Anime Zone Japan's Creations Battle Arena Nihon Comic Group
Legal Notes: This site is independent. Jordan Schmidt has no affliations with any corportations. Server run by Angelfire. Made completely of typed HTML. No mention or use of copyrighted material can be used againist Jordan Schmidt as he is not making a profit. Since Feb. 2001. All Material Written by Jordan Schmidt.
