Have you ever fallen head over heels in love with a man? I mean love, like you dream of him, think of him nonstop, daydream of your future plans. I did. I thought at first it was a simple crush, but it has been almost a year since I first saw him and got the funny feeling in my tummy, the same thing I feel when I see, hear or think of him still. His name is Jeff, the tall, thin, dark haired man who makes my heart flutter. I first saw him pull up next to me on my way to school on December 3rd 2002. He was eating a banana while driving. I didn't think much of him at first. I thought "hmm for being a bus driver he was fairly attractive." Since most tend to be old and ugly in this area he was a delightful change of pace. My morning commute forced me to see Burt, the fiftyish aged man with a gray mullet and a hearing aid. To see a younger, stud like the guy in the bus next to me was so rare, I couldn't take my eyes off him. I had to get to know him, but I am so shy that it was difficult. So I figured my first task was to get his name. Now he was only at the metro center once an hour so that left me only a small opportunity to catch a glimpse of him long enough to read his nametag. So when I passed the Ninth St. bus I would slow and gaze in through the doors to see him standing by the driver's seat admitting passengers. I couldn't see though because he was just a bit too far to read the engraving on his shiny pin. I always managed to get a glare from the lighting or he was turned. Eventually though I got his name. His name was Jeff. That was all I knew. I had no way to find out anything about him besides his name. I would listen for his voice on the bus radio. I was thrilled to death to hear him utter anything. Still I wanted to get to know him, but he drove the Ninth St. bus and I had no reason to ride that bus, and he worked while I was in school and when I would have been able to ride it he would have been gone by then. He didn't drive on weekends either so that kind of sucked. I eventually got so wrapped up in him that I would fantasize about him. I began to pray that I could meet him. As my bus would pull in I would peer in to the window of my connection and then I always checked Jeff's to see if he was driving. One morning, April 7th to be exact, I went to look into my connection and I thought I saw him standing on my bus! I couldn't believe it. Then as we rolled past his I saw that he was not on. At a fast pace I darted to my connection. I walked up to the bus and the doors were opened. I looked up and held my pass and blurted "good morning!" He looked back, in his deep voice said "good morning." My heart raced. I could not believe that Jeff was on my bus that morning. I sat down in a seat that allowed me to see him and his rearview mirror too. I had a full view of this guy. I was almost frantic. I normally listened to a walkman, but I did not have the ability to focus on anything but him. So I listened as other passengers made small talk with him. I overheard him say that he would be on this route for at least three months. I couldn't believe it. I got three months of him. When I got to school I told my friend about him. I said something to the likes of "Burt is no longer driving, the new guy is hot, you have got to see him." She didn't think much of it. Now if I left school later than 1:15 I wouldn't be able to see him. So I began to skip my last class often because it ended at 1:30, which meant I would miss Jeff. When she first saw him she said he was not bad looking. I didn't understand it. I thought he was gorgeous. When I rode in the mornings I would listen to all his conversations. When my friend and I caught him on the way home I wouldn't even pay attention to what she was saying to me because I was focused on him. We eventually nicknamed him Speedy, because he was always on time in the morning, and still managed to wait for us if my first bus was late. He was always writing when we were stopped too, so we assumed he did a lot of big mathematical equations to figure out how much he needed to increase his speed to be on time. His watch even went off at exactly 15 minutes past the hour. In my time of watching him intently and listening to him I learned a lot about him. I learned that he was divorced, the years his parents were born and the year his mom died. I learned the year his ex-wife remarried. I also began to realize he was somewhat of a health nut and a neat freak both of which turned me on to no end. The only thing I had ever seen him eat was that banana, and I overheard someone ask him about coffee and he said he needed decaf. He also washed the windows frequently, washed the fare box, and one time his phone wasn't working, so the mechanic installed a new one. As soon as the mechanic left he held the phone with the tips of his fingers and sprayed it with cleanser til it dripped all over the floor. Then he wiped it off furiously with paper toweling. He turned me on even more. I always enjoyed the trip home from school when it was around 11 or 12 because usually we were the only people on. He never played the radio like other drivers and he rarely read the paper. One day he asked me "What bus do you catch next?" and I stuttered out "I usually catch the Mather but I'm walking today because it's too beautiful not to." He agreed and that was the end of the conversation. Another day my bus was really late and they called in my transfer to him. He waited patiently for me. When I got on I said "thanks for waiting for me" and he said "sure." I sat down and blushed. Then as my destination was arriving I walked to the front of the bus and said "thanks again for waiting for me I really appreciate it" and he said "no problem, just have her call it in." What a sweet guy, Burt never waited. Then one day I got on and we were driving and Speedy (Jeff) was chatting with a guy. He asked him to fill out a survey for him. I was crushed. I so wanted to fill out the survey. Why didn't he ask me? As I was getting close to school he turned around and looked me straight in the eye and said "Would you like to fill out a short survey?" "Sure I said." So I walked up and he handed me a pencil and the surveys. I was so flustered I couldn't even fill it out right and had to erase several times. When I had finished it I walked up to him and handed it to him. His hand brushed over mine and I almost died. At the end of the school year I had to say goodbye. My last trip home I walked to the front of the bus on the way home and said "have a good summer!" and he said "I beg your pardon?" and I said again have a good summer. And he said "School's done?" and his voice sounded like he was actually kind of sad. I said "yeah until August I guess." The rest of the short conversation escaped me because I was lost in the saddness in his voice. Then I turned to walk home. I was at my saddest and happiest at that moment in my life. I wonder if he misses me as much as I miss him?
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