In this report, I shall explore the human child psyche. Little children, aged three and under, seem to have developed some suicidal tendencies. For example, my next door neighbors have a one year old named Angela. She keeps waddling down the driveway into the street, also into on-coming traffic. Of course, she is always kept out of harms way, via her mother.

And of course, her other child, Daniel. He’s always riding out into the rode on his little tri-cycle. Not to mention smashing his head into something every three seconds. I’ve discussed this subject with one of my friends, and he has confessed to smashing his head against a wall or two in his day.

Another thing I’ve noticed is that little children like to dig holes. With sharp, pointy objects. Then, they sit in the hole. Now, maybe they really are trying to dig to China, but I think they are trying to end it soon.

Shiny objects. Kids love them. Earrings, knives, the little shiny part on the inside of sockets. They love to put them in their mouths, eyes, and any other hole they can find. Daniel swallowed his mother’s earring at a Thanksgiving gathering once. Got Heimlech?

Small objects. Anything small will do, be it a pill, a bead, anything that they can get their chubby little fingers on… and anything they can put in their mouth, for that matter.

Choking or suffocation seems like the preferred way to go. The friend mentioned above has also confessed to holding his breath to the point of blacking out when he was a child. His father grabbed him up in his arms, and started running towards the hospital.. even though his father is a doctor. J A few seconds later, my friend woke up, and laughed. I’m keeping CASEY FEIN’S name confidential, and referring to him as the friend.

And we can’t forget babies turning face down into their pillows. After a little while, their little lungs can’t take the overdose of carbon dioxide, and boom. Death is over them like… Sari on Devin. (But that’s another report).

So yes, little children DO have suicidal tendencies. And no, they aren’t afraid to use them to scare, frighten, and utterly subdue their parents. So , if you’re a parent out there, and it looks like you baby is dying, please, leave it be. It just wants some attention… and maybe some oxygen.