Day VIII: Outside the Twilight Hall Recording Studio

When we last left the hero’s in the cave, something odd happened, and well
They just weren’t in the cave anymore
HAHAHA! No explanation for you!

Anyway, now the hero’s are in Germany, you heard me right, Germany, and frankly because I simply want them there.

(Take a deep note that the narrator was on some HEAVY stuff before signing into work for today)

Man, what I wouldn’t do for just one last drag………….

Josh: Eh, what the hell are we doing in Germany?
Kyle: All because the Fellowship, Kyle Gass is in on this, he has to be! Sigh, my love.
Jim: No, this is simply because the narrator was smoking.

Don’t mention smoke man, I need another drag.

And then everyone blinks in surprise.

Well, you are in Germany now, so live with it.

Josh: Well, that’s ok, I always wanted to go to Germany.
Jim: Exactly where in Germany are we……

Just then Jim was interrupted by the excited exclamation of

Josh: WE ARE OUTSIDE THE TWILIGHT HALLS RECORDING STUDIO!
Jim: No way, right outside of Blind Guardian headquarters?
Kyle: Blah, Josh, you suck, NEW bands. Hate all old bands! I don’t care Blind Guardian old! Bah Bah!

Josh: Shut up Kyle.
Jim: Chut up all!

As they crept closer to the looming tower that is… THE RECORD STUDIO, they could only feel the surge of power flowing within its great walls.

Josh: We must enter; Hansi is without a doubt a God among all men.
Jim: Josh, you are going insane.
Josh: Yes! Indeed I am!
Kyle: You’re not insane, you stupid smack job. Get a job! Get a girlfriend! Leave the house! I must beat off!

Josh and Jim: Eh?

They finally reached the tall entrance that would lead them to.. Josh’s so called “Valhalla”.

Within the hallowed halls, everything was still… everything except.. THAT LOUD BANGING COMING FROM INSIDE THE CLOSET!

Josh: What could this be?!
Jim: It could only be one thing…

Hansi: Let me out! I’m lost in a twilight hall!

Jim: It’s Hansi! He must have gotten lost when he came home from work at Wendy’s
Josh: Aye! Wendy will suffer by my blade!
Kyle: Wendy isn’t a person, and you don’t HAVE a blade.
Josh: Quiet you foul demon of Bal’set!
Kyle: You only said that cause it rhymes with Tal’set, and you want to play the new Turok game!

Josh peered around with shifty eyes, and could only remark with

Josh: Monkies.

Hansi: I hear voices! Aye! Could it be! Imaginations from the other side? Cold insanity said to me, stop the craziness!

For only a few moments into Hansi’s on-going gibberish, a loud rush of water could be heard from the distance>

Jim: Water in the twilight hall?
Josh: Hansi must of left the bathtub running.

Hansi: Born from a mourning hall! Where is my band! GARR! Where am I? Oh yeah! I am lost in the closet broom, or is it the Twilight Hall. Why am I naked?

A giant wave comes crashing forth towards our hero’s from the long corridor

Kyle: It’s a giant wave! What to do! 

The wave begins to fade from existence with a deafening pop!
From nowhere, but above of course, Andre lands directly in front of the hero’s.

Andre: I HAD AN OCEAN! WANT ONE TOO!?
Hansi: WELCOME TO DYING!

Hansi continued knocking on the door constantly.

Andre: BLASTED TOMMYKNOCKERS!
Hansi: Don’t get your knockers in a bind.
Andre: Guardian of the blind?
Hansi: Bling blinguardian?
Icey Hot Stuntaz: WE IZ PHAT SKOOTAHS!

Eh.. Where did THEY come from?
Omnipotent powers that be kill them instantly.

Andre: I will pass on my powers to you, great mortals of the quest.
Jim: Silly surfer Andre.
Josh: We are given a quest! By Andre himself!
Kyle: Oh, to only make a mecha Andre that would defeat Hansi…..

In that moment, Andre quickly stuffs his hands down his pants, retrieving but three surf boards for the hero’s.

Andre: HERE YE BE! SURF BOARDS FOR THREE! I SING WITH MUCH GLEE!

Jim: Exactly why were they in your pants?
Kyle: Eww
Josh: No matter, we must accept this as a great offering to our quest.

Accepting to surfboards, the hero’s stumble upon a small button, which, oddly enough is placed on the surfboards.

Josh: We must push this button!
Jim: WITH GREAT POWER!
Kyle: I am scared.

With pushing the button, everything suddenly became blank.

Jim: Ok, what the hell is going on now?
Josh: I am not too sure.

A screen interface suddenly appears, as if something was loading.

Kyle: This reminds me of something I used to do way back when I wore lipstick and went to school.

Josh: Is this to be dubbed the rhyming as much as possible episode.
Jim: No, but it is INDEED the worst episode even done.
Kyle: Indeedo Steedo!

Marcus: HA! KILL YOU ALL! UT! FUN FUN! KILL DIE DIE! DIE CAMPER!! KILL SNIPER MAN! JOY JOY!
Thomen: Marcus, the game didn’t even start yet.
Marcus: QUIET YOU! GO BACK TO CHESS! WHEEE!!!! PK PK TK!!!!!! NPK CPK!!!! LEVEL 10 MIMIC MACHINE BLASTER!
Thomen: Did you drink from the same toilet Hansi did?

Heard faint from the distance

Hansi: GRAB A SCRATCH!

Thomen: I am some how frightened, and yet at the same time, intrigued with this bizarre behavior, I must investigate.

And Hansi farts.

Thomen: Never mind!

Marcus: Dude, this game is SOOO COOL! I PICK UP CHICKS ON THE INTERWEB!

Josh: Man, I hear voices from outside, what could this be.

Images start to appear, and the world is crafted around the hero's, only oddly.

Marcus: WELCOME TO UNREAL!

Hansi: WELCOME TO DYING!

Supergreg: WELCOME THE MONOBROW! AHHHHHHHH!!!!!! angry face

Gandulf: IN THE DARKNESS, MACK DEM HO’S!

Hansi: NOOOO!! GANDULF! WHY HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN ME!

Snes: MARIO PAINT! WOOO!

Jim: Absolutely the worst episode ever, this is suckier than that sucktastic suck fest known as Austin Powers, the spy who sucked me.

Josh: The game has already booted, and I know what this is, but something is different.

Marcus: I HAVE THE OFFICIAL LLAMA PATCH MOD SLATCH GO BLATCH FLING!

Josh: This is sheer insanity
Jim: Yes, and completely senseless.. Why is this even happening?!
Kyle: And I thought Blind Guardian was a serious band

Notice how the writers in diapers were nice to make Kyle actually remotely intelligent this time around.

Thomen: Forget this insanity, I am going to play chess.
Marcus: GO PLAY CHESS YOU! YOU! YOU! TIRING OLD COOT WITH A DRUM! HAHA! I LAUGH AT YOU!! BEAT YOU FACE IN WITH CHICKEN STICK! BEAT UP YOU!!

As Thomen steps off to his chamber, he trips on the computer’s power cord ultimately turning it off, and the hero’s pop out of the CD-rom.

All: WE ARE FREE!

Marcus: FREE FOR ME TO FEAST UPON YOUR GELATNIOUS FOOT!

Josh: WE MUST FLEE!

They all run directly out of the Twilight Hall, leaving the insane asylum to itself, only to hear Hansi scream.

Hansi: AND THE STORY ENDS!!