Let's begin...
5ive Days to Midnight, Sci-Fi Channel
IMDb; RHI; TV.com; Wikipedia
While physics professor J.T. Neumeyer and his daughter Jesse are visiting J.T.'s wife's grave on the anniversary of her death ten years ago (also Jesse's birthday), a futuristic briefcase appears behind the grave, with the name "Professor J.T. Neumeyer" on it. Once. J.T. figures out the code to open it, he finds a police file of his own death, which will happen in five days (though the case is from 50 years in the future).
At first he doesn't believe it's real, but soon it becomes clear that it is. There are a few suspects, including his current girlfriend, Claudia (or Angela), who we like; her ex, a gangster named Roy Bremmer; a former student of J.T.'s, Carl Axelrod; and Brad Hume, who is another professor and I believe J.T.'s brother in law. J.T. has to try to figure out who killed him, and try to prevent it. He gets help in his investigation from a homicide detective named Sikorski, but things get complicated, of course, and in the end, I'm pretty sure nothing happened remotely like it did originally, and I still have no idea who might have done it. Despite the fact that some people tried to make sure it happened again, each for their own reasons. Or because of that fact, I dunno. I won't tell you whether it did, or not. But in any event... it wasn't a bad way to spend a few nights. Not the greatest miniseries, but it was okay. Dunno what else to tell you.
Gormenghast, British
BBC; IMDb; Movie Tome; Wikipedia
Well, this was just weird. Really weird. Interesting, I guess. Steerpike was certainly an interesting character. So was Dr. Prunesquallor. The whole damn thing was just rather bizarre, and I don't know what to say about it.
Golden Years, CBS
IMDb; Movie Tome; Wikipedia
This was a miniseries from Stephen King, in which this old janitor guy is exposed to an explosion in the lab where he works, and then starts getting younger, and the government is chasing him or something. Okay, I don't remember it that well. I'd like to see it again. And I missed the end of it. Felicity Huffman was in it, and we certainly like her.
Hercules, NBC
IMDb; RHI; Wikipedia
Amphitryon, a noble warrior of Thebes, returns from war to find his wife, Alcmene (who we like). She and her family worshipped Hera, while Amphitryon worships Zeus. (Alcmene is Hera's high priestess.) And of course, Zeus and Hera are at war with each other. The whole movie is about the war between them, although we never actually see either of them. In fact, there never seems to be any absolute proof they even exist (which seems pointless, since despite any evidence of gods, there are plenty of mythological creatures, such as nymphs, satyrs, centaurs, a hydra, a sphinx, harpies, etc.), but that doesn't stop their respective followers from doing all sorts of terrible stuff in their names. Anyway, Alcmene doesn't really want to be with Amphitryon, but has no choice. And the night his ship returns, she's raped by someone, who she at first thinks is him, but later believes to be Zeus. Turns out Amphitryon was on his ship all night, and the next day... he's with Alcmene. She later bears two sons, Iphicles (Amphitryon's son), and Hercules (Zeus's son). She wants nothing to do with Hercules, wants him dead. But Amphitryon won't kill the son of his god. (Toward the end of the movie, it is suggested that Zeus isn't actually his father, it's maybe someone else, but I won't say who.)
Anyway, one day Hercules and Iphicles are being taught music and biology by a poet named Linus, and Hercules seems to kill Linus, accidentally. For this, he is banished from Thebes; though later Linus is revived by a nymph named Deianeira (who we quite like). Eventually, Hercules will fall in love with her, and Linus will become his faithful sidekick and write songs of his adventures. But anyway, one night Megara (who we like), daughter of King Creon of Thebes (and also a priestess of Hera) has sex with Hercules, but later claims he raped her. She also bears Hercules three sons, who hate him. Later he saves the king, and all Thebes, when he slays the hydra (in a battle which claims the life of Amphitryon). The king gives him Megara to wed, as a reward. Alcmene, Megara, and Iphicles plot together against Hercules (though eventually they'll all betray each other in various ways). They trick Hercules's sons into trying to kill him, disguised as demons, after Megara has drugged him, thus tricking him into killing them.
The king sends him to the oracle at Delphi (who turns out to be Tiresias, an important player in the whole story, from beginning to end) to find a way to atone for his crime, and the oracle says he must perform five labors for King Eurystheus of Tiryns (son of the late Sthenelus, a usurper who had killed Alcmene's family, though he was also her uncle). Eurystheus is now married to Megara (their marriage united Thebes and Tiryns; they had been engaged prior to Hercules slaying the hydra). So he goes off and does each task set to him, fighting monsters and whatnot, which Megara and her cohorts hope will destroy him. Each time he wins his battle. One of these battles is against a bandit named Antaeus, who kills Hercules's centaur friend, Kiron. Actually, two of the battles are against him.
Anyway... the people of Tiryns get to like Hercules more and more, with each victory. And he has a son named Hyllus with Deianeira, and Hercules wants him to marry Megara and Eurystheus's daughter Iole, but no one else seems to want that. And lots of other stuff happens, including a big melee, and eventually Hercules and Deianeira get married by Linus. And Hercules hopes Zeus and Hera can learn to love each other. The end. I'm probably forgetting some important details or maybe mixing some things up. It was all rather complicated, and I don't think it followed proper mythology all that well. Nevertheless, I found it reasonably enjoyable, I guess.
I've Been Waiting For You
IMDb; Movie Tome; Rotten Tomatoes
I think this was on FOX, I'm not sure. But years later I taped it off a rerun on Lifetime. Anyway, it was made in the wake of movies like "Scream" and "I Know What You Did Last Summer," and um... I think it was supposed to be a theatrical movie, but I don't think it ever was. It wasn't really worse than any of those movies, but its cast was more TV-ish. Markie Post was in it. Sarah Chalke was in it, who played one of the Beckys on "Roseanne." We like her. I was especially glad to see Ben Foster in it, because I think it's the first thing I saw him in other than Flash Forward (see kid stuff).
Anyway, there was this girl named Sarah who moved with her mom from L.A. to a small town in Massachusetts. 300 years ago a witch was burned at the stake there and she had promised to return for revenge on the descendants of those who did it. So now all these kids who are descendants think Sarah is her or whatever. Anyway, the movie isn't great, but I liked it well enough.
Merlin, NBC
IMDb; Movie Tome; RHI; Rotten Tomatoes; Wikipedia
I don't remember it well. I dunno how much I liked it, but it had a good cast, anyway. It's about the wizard, of course. Someday I swear I'll see it again and give it a proper review.
Merlin's Apprentice, Hallmark Channel
IMDb; RHI; Wikipedia
This is the sequel to the 1998 miniseries Merlin (see above). And um... it was just okay. After everything turned out fine for Arthur and Camelot, Merlin went to take a nap, which he expected would last a season. However, it turned out to last 50 years, and when he woke up, his friends were dead and the Holy Grail was missing and Camelot wasn't doing so hot. The steward of the throne was this lord named Weston, who wanted to marry a lady named Yvonne (who we kinda liked). She's supposedly the granddaughter of Sir Gawain. But she was in love with a blacksmith named Graham. But they denied themselves a life together because of duty to Weston, who really wasn't such a bad guy. And then there was this rather clumsy thief named Jack, who happened to know a bit of magic, though he wasn't very good at it. And there was a squire named Brian who wanted to become a knight. Right away I guessed that he might be a girl, but for a change... I wasn't certain of it. Usually in stories like this, you really have to suspend disbelief that no one suspects the truth about such things, but here, I believed it. Of course, I turned out to be right, and she and Jack end up together eventually.
Anyway, Jack becomes Merlin's apprentice, and meanwhile there are enemies of Camelot who are being aided by the Lady of the Lake. And there's a surprise revelation about Jack's parentage (by which I mean the characters are surprised, not the viewers). And everyone has to search for the Holy Grail to restore Camelot. And there's a couple named Master Burton and Mistress Deborah who always looked after Yvonne, and advised Weston, though they turned out not to be trustworthy. Anyway... I dunno, there isn't really anything surprising or terribly interesting about the movie, but it wasn't bad. I guess I'd probably put it on tier 7 or 8....
The Mists of Avalon, TNT
IMDb; Movie Tome; Rotten Tomatoes; TNT; Wikipedia
Based on a novel by Marion Zimmer Bradley, this told the story of King Arthur from a more Druidic and feminine point of view. Actually it was basically about Morgaine. Not a bad story, and it had a terrific cast. There was one important part of this story that made me very much want to kill Merlin and Viviane. Um... I dunno what else to say about it at the moment.
Monster Island, MTV
IMDb; Movie Tome; MTV; Rotten Tomatoes; Wikipedia
A send-up of 50s B-movies (or Z-movies). This girl named Jen (who we like) enters everyone she knows in some contest (including her older brother Josh, who wins) to get the whole school or whatever to some remote island for some MTV special featuring Carmen Electra. Josh's girlfriend Maddy (who we like) has recently broken up with him and started dating some jerk who wants to be President someday.
Anyway, while Carmen is performing she's snatched by a giant flying ant, and then Josh gets a group of kids to go with him and try to rescue her. Including Maddy, who at one point puts on a necklace she finds and gets possessed by the goddess of an indigenous people who were displaced some time ago by the government, who dropped atomic bombs on the island. The only survivor of the government is a scientist played by Adam West. Anyway, the kids, along with some folks from MTV trying to advance their careers, and Carmen's bodyguard, have to fight giant mutant insects and stuff. It's all very stupid and cheesy, but that's the point. That's what makes the movie funny.
Mysterious Island, Hallmark Channel
IMDb; RHI; Wikipedia
It starts with a voiceover by Patrick Stewart talking about the island. Then we see a few pirates show up looking for treasure. One is dragged off by some creature, the others get out in a hurry. Then we see a Confederate prison camp during the Civil War, where a Union captain named Cyrus Smith, and a former slave named Neb are planning their escape. A Southerner named Pencroff, who has been arrested for embezzlement, overhears their plans, and so they let him join them. They also take along a widow named Jane Spillet and her daughter Helen (both of whom we like). They steal a balloon, and later crash near this island, and drift to shore.
They will have to face plenty of giant creatures, mostly bugs. They will also meet the infamous Captain Nemo (Patrick Stewart), who has been living on the island for like 10 years, wishing to remain isolated from the world. All that is left of his crew is his manservant, Joseph, who sympathizes with these strangers more than Nemo does, and helps them on several occasions. Nemo wants Smith, an engineer, to help him create a bomb he's designed, which uses a radioactive substance found only on this island (which incidentally is what makes the creatures on the island so big). He's decided war is going to destroy mankind, and it must be stopped, and the only way to do that is to create a weapon so powerful that no one would ever dare start another war. Smith refuses to help, so Nemo casts them all out of his complex, to fend for themselves. So they have to deal with the creatures, of course, as well as more pirates who show up looking for the legendary treasure.
Pretty much the only one of the pirates who wants to stay to find the treasure is the captain, Bob Harvey. The others are all scared of the island and want to leave, but they're more scared of him. One of them, however, was left for dead early on, a man named Blake who never really wanted to be a pirate, but had been sort of adopted by Harvey. He befriended Helen and the others, and helped them out. They also met an old friend of his named Ayrton, who Harvey had stranded on the island years ago. Anyway, in the end, after all the obstacles they overcome, and some deaths along the way, they're all driven from the island by a volcano. The end.
The movie is, of course, based on the book by Jules Verne, which alas, I've never read, so I can't make any comparisons. I thought the movie was okay, but not really great. Definitely not something I ever care to see again, but I don't mind having seen it this once. I still might want to read the book someday, or see some of the other film adaptations that have been made over the years...
The Odyssey, NBC
IMDb; Movie Tome; RHI; Rotten Tomatoes; Wikipedia
Based, of course, on the epic saga by Homer. What to say about the miniseries? I don't remember it well. I dunno if it was very good. But it had a good cast.
The 10th Kingdom, NBC
IMDb; Movie Tome; RHI; Rotten Tomatoes; Wikipedia
This was a pretty fun miniseries. A modern fairy tale. Sort of. It's getting rather popular these days to modernize fairy tales in books and stories and TV and whatnot, put humorous and ironic twists on them and stuff. I dunno. Anyway, this was kinda fun and well made. It had John Larroquette, an actor whose work I've always enjoyed. And Kimberly Williams, who we rather like. Also Scott Cohen who's been in Gilmore Girls as well as at least one Passat commercial. He's cool. He played a wolf. Um, dunno what else. Bunch of other good people in the cast. Fun story and stuff. People from our world get involved in this fantasy world that unites a bunch of different classic fairy tales. It was... fun....
Ultraviolet, British, Sci-Fi Channel
IMDb; Wikipedia
Hmmm... Well, this was interesting. I don't remember it well, though. It was about like some government group or whatever hunting vampires. I wish I could tell you more, but I can't. Sorry. Except, don't confuse it with the theatrical movie of the same name. Even if it is pretty much the same idea.