tek's rating

I Could Never Be Your Woman (PG-13)
Blue Rider Pictures; IMDb; Rotten Tomatoes; TV Tropes; Wikipedia

This movie was made in 2005, but never played in theaters (at least in the U.S.), and was finally released to DVD in 2008. I remember reading an article about it in Entertainment Weekly (this one, I believe), and it was probably at least a couple years later before I got the movie. And some time later before I got around to watching it. But I think it's pretty damn good. (This movie sort of spoofs the creative situation behind Clueless, or more accurately the TV spin-off of that movie; like Clueless, this movie was written and directed by Amy Heckerling.)

It begins with some scenes of nature, and then Mother Nature herself gives a rant about how the Baby Boomer generation is so self-centered and greedy and doesn't care that they're destroying the environment... but she'll get back at them because they want to stay young forever. Which they can't do, in spite of all their plastic surgery. (Then we get a bunch of images of plastic surgery, which frankly I could have done without, because... eww.) Anyway, once the movie really gets started, we'll occasionally see Mother Nature return, to hold inner monologue-type arguments with the main character, Rosie Hanson (Michelle Pfeiffer).

Rosie is a divorced woman in her 40s, with a daughter named Izzie, who is just entering puberty. Izzie has a crush on a boy named Dylan, and her mom tries to advise her on how to deal with the situation. Rosie is also head writer on a teen sitcom called "You Go Girl," in which naturally all the teenagers are played by adult actors. One day, she and the producer (or director or whatever) are auditioning actors for a guest role in an upcoming episode. Naturally, they all suck, until the last one, a guy named Adam Pearl, who nails it. Before too long, Rosie and Adam start going out, though at first they both lie about their age; he claims to be 32, while she claims to be 37. Eventually they find out the age gap is even greater than that, which bothers Rosie more than it does Adam. (And it bothers Mother Nature more than anyone.) Meanwhile, Rosie's secretary, Jeannie, tries to break them up by making it look like Adam is secretly dating Brianna Minx, the main actress on "You Go girl."

I don't really want to say any more about the plot. I'll just say that all the actors did a great job. Of course it's hard for any non-Hollywood executive to conceive of anyone not finding Michelle Pfeiffer totally hot, even if she is in her 40s. Because damn. She's still Michelle freakin' Pfeiffer. And aside from being hot, she's also really funny. And Paul Rudd is quite charming as Adam. And Saoirse Ronan is amazing (as usual) as Izzie. Tracey Ullman as Mother Nature is... well, Tracey Ullman. I liked her, for the most part. And it was fun to see Stacey Dash as Brianna. Very meta casting, there, considering she was also in "Clueless" (as was Rudd, of course). And Jon Lovitz was funny as Rosie's ex, Nathan. And Fred Willard was decent as a troublesome network exec or whatever. Anyway... I loved the relationship between Rosie and Izzie. And Rosie and Adam were cute together, even if I find it hard to believe people can develop strong feelings that quickly. And Izzie was a good mix of precocious and normal kid. The whole movie was really sweet and funny and quirky. I didn't agree with everything Mother Nature had to say; in fact I very much disagreed with some of it. But she did at least make one good point, in the end. And... I dunno what else to say.


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