convo with Jul
Mood:  sad
FireWithin says:
julio man. please don't through away our friendship like this
FireWithin says:
I honestly never meant to hurt you.
Solid says:
hi
FireWithin says:
and hi
FireWithin says:
sorry. ranting at ya
Solid says:
the problem i have is that i feel betrayed by you. you knew how i felt but did not care
FireWithin says:
mate. i didn't know how you felt till the last day of camping
FireWithin says:
you kept telling me you were just friends
Solid says:
bollocks
FireWithin says:
woah. it isn't. I susspected, but I didn't know for sure
FireWithin says:
And i do care man. I care so much, that I have been feeling cut up ever since the camping trip
Solid says:
i told you a long time ago. in havana. cris asked us who we liked. i said laura
FireWithin says:
no, you said. I may ask her out
FireWithin says:
you never have been certain over it
Solid says:
hmmm...what does that suggest to you?
FireWithin says:
I am sorry man. if you were going out with her, of course i wouldn't do anything
FireWithin says:
but you said that in the havanna, and went on to do fuck all about it
Solid says:
the point is that it doesn't matter if i was going out with her or not.
FireWithin says:
I thought you had decided against it
FireWithin says:
Man, if I liked a gril, and you liked a girl. I would cvertainly not hold it against you
FireWithin says:
**girl
Solid says:
you did something with the knowledge that it would hurt me. full stop
FireWithin says:
no, I didn't want to hurt you.
Solid says:
than why do you feel so guilty nat?
FireWithin says:
because even tho it was my intention not to hurt you, i have all the same
FireWithin says:
and that cuts me up so badly
FireWithin says:
I told you, you can't help who you fall for, you agreed with that last night
Solid says:
...im sorry. im afraid i dont believe you. i remember. it wasn't that long ago. i recall it all clearly
FireWithin says:
matters of the heart are not under our control
Solid says:
but how you bloody behave it!
Solid says:
is*
FireWithin says:
Julio, why would I want to hurt you. you are one of my greatest friends
FireWithin says:
Are you saying, that you would rather me be miserable, just so that you feel a little better, even though she doesn't feel that way about you?
Solid says:
you dont want to hurt me. but you dont understand think before you act
FireWithin says:
I did think Julio. I thought for a very long time
Solid says:
its not the fact that you like her thats the problem. its the way you acted
FireWithin says:
what was wrong with it. What right do you have to stop me trying to be happy?
FireWithin says:
If you did the same to me, I would want you to be happy julio
FireWithin says:
because that is what friends do. They want each other to be happy
Solid says:
i think not
FireWithin says:
You can't help that you fell for her right?
FireWithin says:
I also cannot help that I did
Solid says:
you know how you behaved. i don't need to spell it out for you do i?
FireWithin says:
Well yes, I think you do Julio, so we are all in the clear here.
FireWithin says:
While we are being honest, we may as well get it all out in the works
Solid says:
fair enough. you never left her side. i mean ever. you even planned you toilet trips to coincide with her. if you went for a smoke you made it very clear that me or anyone else was unwelcome. usually with a loud "see you in a bit!" thus preventing me joining you. on few accasions in witch i did join you, i felt very uncomfortable as you were so blatently jealous of any contact we had....continued
FireWithin says:
I was never jelous of you mate, and I loved it when you guys came out to see us. I presumed that you would not want to come and smoke weed with us tho. I am sorry if it seems I never left her side, but it was mostly because we were talking about our past relationships. we understood each others shit, and were helping one another with it. We never planned our toilet trips together either.
Solid says:
any time i was sitting/standing walking near laura you would try and insert yourself inbetween us, even if it meant you got insanly close to her.
FireWithin says:
I most certainly did not do that
Solid says:
oh no?
FireWithin says:
If i did, I certainly never meant to
FireWithin says:
I was not trying to get between you guys
FireWithin says:
that is the last thing I would want. It's just you've spent so much time with her before camping, I have spent none. So of course I spent time with her. I wanted to get to know her better. You didn't have that problem.
FireWithin says:
You already spent shit loads of time with her in the bar. I didn't even know her for ages because she would spend all her time with you. I didn't even get to speak to her most the time

The following message could not be delivered to all recipients:
You already spent shit loads of time with her in the bar. I did...

FireWithin says:
You already spent shit loads of time with her in the bar. I didn't even know her for ages because you were constantly chatting away with her. I didn't even get to speak to her most the time
Solid says:
so?
Solid says:
she is my friend.
FireWithin says:
well, I wanted to speak to her, and get to know her
FireWithin says:
That doesn't mean she can't be anyone elses friends tho julio
FireWithin says:
all of the things you are saying I have done, you have done yourself with her when we were back at uni
Solid says:
you were trying to prevent me speaking or being with my friend in the process
Solid says:
no i have not.
FireWithin says:
I was not trying to do that!
FireWithin says:
It was the first week I had properly spoken to her with long chats and all
FireWithin says:
so of course we are gonna spend a lot of time together. We get on really well, and we wanted to get to know each other
FireWithin says:
I am sorry if you didn't like it, but we got on really well, and had a lot of catching up to do
FireWithin says:
I never ever purposly tried to get between you
Solid says:
thats nice
Solid says:
well from where im standing that is exactly what you were trying to do
Solid says:
i know
FireWithin says:
Well I am telling you now, that it wasn't what I was doing
FireWithin says:
I was simply embracing the one chance I have had to get to know Laura better
FireWithin says:
Because I have had no chance up till that point
Solid says:
so what where you doing then? and why the hell do you keep saying sorry if you have done nothing wrong?
FireWithin says:
Because I am sorry that you are hurt Julio
FireWithin says:
I am sorry that you see me in such poor light.
FireWithin says:
I am sorry that at the first chance to throw around blame at me you leap apon it
FireWithin says:
I was not the only one hanging out with Laura you know. So wanted to hang out with me too!
Solid says:
no. you said you were sorry, when i said that i was annoyed at you behaviour at the camping last night. why was that?
FireWithin says:
Because I could see then that you were hurt
Solid says:
indeed?
FireWithin says:
And I have never wanted to cause you pain
Solid says:
how did you tell that i was in pain?
FireWithin says:
Because you said that you had been annoyed at me on the camping trip
Solid says:
...?
FireWithin says:
So obviously I had been annoying you and causing you dicomfort
FireWithin says:
And I was sorry for that
FireWithin says:
Hense why I said sorry
Solid says:
no. thats not the reason
Solid says:
try again
FireWithin says:
what? That was why I said sorry
Solid says:
you dont realise how transparent you are
FireWithin says:
What do you mean?
FireWithin says:
I obviously aren't transparent, because you have totally misread me!
FireWithin says:
You obviously have no idea of the sort of person I really am. You have formed me into this monster, so you have something to take your hate out on. It isn't fair Julio!
Solid says:
calm down. i dont hate you.
FireWithin says:
well you certainly are sounding like it.
Solid says:
im just a bit disappointed
FireWithin says:
Julio, you know me for gods sake. you know that I wouldn't perpously hurt you.
FireWithin says:
It's not like me.
FireWithin says:
Julio, put yourself in my shoes, if I had liked Laura first, would you have just bowed out?
FireWithin says:
Given that when you started feeling that way about her, you didn't know?
Solid says:
i would not have behaved the way you did no
FireWithin says:
But would you have bowed out?
Solid says:
"i have been feeling cut up ever since the camping trip" why did you say this? i mean if you felt you did nothing wrong that is...
FireWithin says:
I felt cut up because I've hurt you!
Solid says:
you didn't know that
Solid says:
unless you had good reason to suspect
FireWithin says:
Julio, that was one of the first things I said ok, I was angry
FireWithin says:
I was cut up because rach told me about you and Laura's talk on the last day
Solid says:
uh huh. why did that make you feel bad?
FireWithin says:
Because I had fallen for her
FireWithin says:
ok, is that what you want to hear?
Solid says:
yes...
FireWithin says:
I have fallen head over heals for Laura, and I can't help that
Solid says:
thats up to you ofcourse
FireWithin says:
I think you need to talk to her aswell julio, as relationships are two way. If she didn't want to spend more time with me then she wouldn't have.
FireWithin says:
Laura is a strong person, and she makes her own choices Julio, I didn't warp her mind into hanging around with me
Solid says:
dont push anything on laura
FireWithin says:
I'm not.
FireWithin says:
I'm just saying that she makes her own choices too
Solid says:
i dont care that that you spent a lot of time together. its tha manner in wich you did it.
FireWithin says:
Julio, all those things you said I did. I was not aware I was doing
FireWithin says:
I honestly did not mean to get between you
FireWithin says:
It is the last thing I wanted
Solid says:
really? whats the first thing you want?
FireWithin says:
What? Stop playing with my words julio, it's not fair
FireWithin says:
It's a saying ok, a simple saying
Solid says:
i dont like twisting words. lets just say what we mean
FireWithin says:
Julio. Lets look at the facts here. You like Laura, yes. Does she feel the same way? No. Should that mean that nobody should feel that way for her?
FireWithin says:
Julio. Fact of the matter is, that I have a chance with her. If you were a true friend, you would want me, and laura, to be happy.
FireWithin says:
I spend time with her, because I like her a lot
FireWithin says:
and I do want to get to know her more
Solid says:
dont we all
FireWithin says:
don't we all what?
Solid says:
like her a lot
FireWithin says:
yes, we do. Julio, she doesn't want to be anything more than friends with you. If she did want more, I would bow out, and let you guys get on with it.
FireWithin says:
But she doesn't
FireWithin says:
I am sorry for that, but you can't just stop other people flirting with her because she can't be your girlfriend
Solid says:
i love how you just said that three no four times.
FireWithin says:
That's because I am obviosly not getting through
Solid says:
now you are just getting silly
FireWithin says:
no I'm not Julio. What if she feels the same for me in the end hey? Should I miss out on that just because you can't have her?

Solid says:
i am lauras friend. full stop. it doesn't matter wether im with her or not.
Solid says:
how you treat me is a different matter
FireWithin says:
Well obviously it does, otherwise you would not have such a problem with me spending time with her
FireWithin says:
Dude, I did not treat you badly. I wouldn't do that to you. You are reading more into my actions than is really there
FireWithin says:
Julio, for gods sake. I didn't want to tell you this yet, because I didn't want to hurt you. But so that you understand I'm going to have to it would seem. Laura feels the same way for me ok? We didn't tell you because we didn't want to hurt you. But obviously you think I am a monster, so maybe I shouldn't care about that any more.
Solid says:
i see.
FireWithin says:
For gods sake man, you are one of my best friends in the world. And I have done everything I can not to hurt you
FireWithin says:
But I liked her, and I found out she liked me too
FireWithin says:
I just couldn't turn my back on that
Solid says:
ofcourse you have nat. you are the soul of caring
FireWithin says:
Julio, if you had a chance with that girl, would you not take it?

Solid says:
ofcourse. but then im in love with her
FireWithin says:
so am I!
Solid says:
im sure
FireWithin says:
Don't tell me how I feel man. She means the world to me
FireWithin says:
Anyway Julio. You can never truly love someone like that unless they feel the same, otherwise it is just unrequited love.
Solid says:
hahah!
FireWithin says:
It's true
Solid says:
piss off
FireWithin says:
what?