Mood:  happy

Ok, so I put high priority on sleeping for as long as I possibly can before I get up for the day...  I've been challenged by the vocation director to go to mass more often.  I'm up for this challenge, but it means getting up earlier...eek!

 I've been able to do it at least twice in the last week or so, so I'm not moving at such a bad pace.  Dear God please help me to go to bed earlier so that I can get up early enough to make it to mass.

This past weekend, I went to the festival at the Children's Home.  Many of the Sisters were there...including the provincial and her mother and some of her other family members.  My sisters and I sat down to play BINGO with the provincial's mother because she was alone at the table.  Anyways, I won (but it wasn't my money that I played with), so I gave some of the money to my Sisters, and tried to give some of it to the provincial's mother but she wouldn't take it, so I ended up getting an ice cream cone.

I had fun!!!

Mood:  chillin'

Today I tagged along with Sr N and went to the Heights for the dedication of the new pond there.  It's a really big pond with a waterfall and a fountain.  The fountain shoots up into the air and it's really neat, but I like the waterfall better.  Some kid put two fish in it already, but the pond looks so muddy that I wonder if you'd be able to see the fish.

Today was also the feast day of Sr M, our provincial.  The Sisters are all going to celebrate her feast day on province day, though.  Province day is going to last 2 days this coming weekend...Friday and Saturday.  Basically it starts before I get out of work on Friday, but I will get there as soon as I can that day.  Then it goes all day on Saturday.  The Sisters are going to be talking about Human Trafficking.

Tomorrow (or later today for all you literal people out there...since it's past midnight when I'm writing), I'll be participating in a Walk for Life.  Some of the Sisters will be going.  I walked last year and it was really nice...but I think it rained.  I think it might rain again this year, so I'm debating taking an umbrella.  One of the Sisters from the Heights will be driving a van and come down to pick me up.  I'm really excited!

Mood:  hug me

  I need a hug!

  I've gone through alot lately and a hug would be nice.  Anyways... Now I'm a lady in waiting...waiting for the results of the testing to come back...waiting to meet with the VD to tell her how it went... waiting for the meeting between the VD and the others...

  Waiting for my sunflowers to grow up and flower!!!!!  They are starting to come out of the ground now.  I'm sooo excited!!! Something's actually growing and I haven't killed it yet!!!  I haven't had the best of luck growing things in pots, so I think that if I leave them alone and let mother nature take care of them, they'll grow up.

I've got the insurance info for my job.  All of this paperwork is confusing.

I went to the local thrift shop and got some teethers and rattles for my babies.  I saw some other really neat things like teddy bears and things that play music, but I didn't have enough change to get them and I really didn't want to put the purchases on my credit card.  I hope that the babies like the things I got for them :-)

I have a bulletin board at work that I get to decorate.  I'm really excited about it because I can be artistic there.  It's going to be a summer theme.  I was thinking about maybe doing a big sun...maybe out of tin foil...so that it's shiny and people can see their reflection in it... and then something with teddy bears and maybe some pictures of my babies.  Or at least put their names on the teddy bear cut outs.

Mood:  happy

Today I planted some sunflower seeds in the Sisters' yard.  I planted them along the fence in hopes that they won't be mowed down or the dog wouldn't get them.  I really hope that they grow and make it to their flowering stage.  I haven't had much luck growing much of anything and the last time I tried to grow a sunflower it shrivelled and died before it got very big at all.  Hopefully with time and a little TLC from God, they will grow and mature.  These particular flowers are supposed to grow to 12 feet tall.  I'm soooo excited about the possibility!!!

I hope that I'll be around long enough to see them flower!

Well, later this week I'll take the first part of the psych evaluations that the Sisters want me to take.  I really hope that they don't find something that will make them not want to accept me.  I'm a bit scared about it, but it really shouldn't be anything to frighten me...  My therapist says that it's a win-win situation.  How is it winning for me if I find that I cannot be accepted in Religious Life based on something that these tests might say?  It would be such heartache to wonder why God is leading me through this only to find out it's not for me.  All of my trust is in God on this, hopefully He will see me through.  I really LOVE this community and I really can see myself spending the rest of my life with them...if they'll have me.

Mood:  don't ask

I'm currently covered from head to toe in spots!!! Woohooo!!!  (Said with a tint of sarcasm).  I took some medications for something and had an allergic reaction to them...so I'm now taking medication to fix the side effects of the first medication... Gee Whiz..and people don't seem to understand why I am so against medication in the first place.  There are always side effects and they are generally NOT good.  Why destroy one part of your body to cure another?  It's like a curse.

With that said, the Sisters want me to take the Psych Evaluation.  I'll be doing so one day next week and a day the week after.  That's going to be fun...

I don't need a test to tell me that I'm challenged...

These dang spots are itchy... dang medication... how was I to know that the medication they perscribed would make me break out almost near the end of the perscription?

Anyways...

I found a job that I think I would do really good in.  It's in childcare again, but the rooms are set up so that there are a few classes in the same room at the same time.  It makes me hopeful that I wouldn't be alone in the classroom for long.  In the past, I've been alone and working with the kids and while kids are really neat to work with, I find it VERY helpful to have extra sets of hands and eyes in the classroom.

This new job (that I hope I'll get offered) is a Lead Teacher position in an infant room.  I'm actually looking forward to it.  It will be working with the children of poorer people (kinda like what I did in AmeriCorps). 

Please pray that I am offered this job and that I'm able to keep it.  I don't want this to end up like my past couple of jobs did.  I REALLY REALLY want to stay employed this time.

Please pray for me.

Mood:  hug me

Well, the job that I wanted at the Catholic book store didn't work out for me...they said that they were going to go another way...and they didn't hire me.  Bummer.  I was sooooo looking forward to possibly working in that store.

Anyways, I guess God just didn't have that place in mind for me to work.  I wonder what God really does have in mind for me.  I am planning to accept a job at one of the Auntie Anne's Pretzel places.  They can only work me some unconventional hours, though.  It's gonna be a bummer that I won't be able to eat supper with the Sisters, but I really need to work to make some money.  They understand.  This will only be temporary until I can figure out if one of my nanny positions will work for me.

I interviewed with a couple of nanny placement agencies and they both will take a little while to set things up with parents and such.  I hope that I can find something that will be more like the time that I worked previously...with weekends off.  I will miss my weekends while I work at this other job, but I must do what I have to do.

At least I don't feel like I'm falling down a hole anymore.  That's a plus.

This is going to involve a major schedule change on my part, but I hope that it will work out until the nanny positions come through.

Mood:  not sure

Ok, I admit.  Job-seeking makes me nervous.  I'm a normally quiet person and it takes a lot for me to do interviews etc...you know the "normal" things that someone who is looking for a job would do.

I've been offered a couple of jobs, but I'm still searching to see what else is out there.  One of the jobs I was offered was to be the cashier at a local restraunt.  I don't know if I want to deal with money-changing.  This is the only job that I've been offered that is considered full time.  I don't know if I should just take it because it's full time, or if I should take several part time jobs.  I've never taken a couple part time jobs and I wonder if I'd really be able to swing it.

Why do I still feel so scared?  I've been offered a couple of jobs...but are either of them things that I can see myself doing in another couple of years?  I don't know.

I know that I REALLY need to get a job, but should I take one that I'm not so sure I'd like just because it was offered?

Mood:  hug me

So, it's been eleven days since I lost my job.  I have been keeping myself so busy that I haven't had time to slow down until today.  I feel really bad for slowing down though.  I should be out there until I am employed and have my first paycheck in hand...  But I'm not.  I need to take a break from all of this hustle-bustle.

I have two interviews next week for sure, and one that I think will be scheduled then too, but I don't know what time or where to meet the person.  One's at a Catholic bookstore and the other is with a woman who runs a nanny business.  I'm nervous about both interviews and hope that I do ok.

I've been told that I'm back on square one with my discernment.  There's no way that I can move forward at this time.  I'm dissapointed in myself for that...  I'm back to meeting once a month with the vocations director.  I've been told that I only have a month to find a job or I'll be asked to leave this place where I've been living.  No pressure there...

I'm scared.

Mood:  don't ask

I am currently jobless.  I was informed on Monday after work, that I was just not a good fit for the place where I was currently employed.  What I bummer, I really didn't see it coming that they would let me go, but I had been thinking about getting out of childcare for a little while so that I could build some much needed skills.

So, with that said, know anyone who is looking to hire?  I've been "working" at finding a job for the past week straight, and I've got some interesting leads to follow, but no one has really offered me a job yet.  Some of the leads include unconventional hours...like a 4:30 am-1pm job... I'd miss morning prayer if I took that one.  I also found one that would be part-time at first but would involve travel to different stores.  I don't know about that.  Especially if it involves leaving my car somewhere where I have to pay to park.  I could take the bus, but I'd rather not go there until I find no other options.  And YES, trying to find a job IS work...and hard work at that.

I need prayers.  I wonder if I am really adequate sometimes...

On a positive note, we're having an Easter party at the house.  That should be fun!  There will be 20 people here on Sunday afternoon/evening, including both of the vocation directors.  I'm really looking forward to it.