As the thunderclap sounded, his eyes snapped open. When his senses came to, he heard the rain beating on the window. He moved his eyes down to where Jeannie lay in the bed next to him. He let out a breath. He sat against the headboard and wiped the sweat from his forehead. The nightmares had been getting much worse lately. Despite what the dream had indicated, however, Jeannie was still safe and sound.
He knew it’d be a while before he could get to sleep again, so he looked at Jeannie for a beat and then got out of the bed. He looked out the window across the glistening buildings shimmering in the moonlight as the rain continued to fall. It was very beautiful, to say the least. He tried to dismiss the fact that in a city like Gotham, it almost certain that someone somewhere was being robbed, raped, or murdered. God bless city life.
He walked over to the dresser and looked into the mirror. The stubble on his face was starting to get thick. He was worried. He was very worried. For the last four days, he had done nothing but sit at the table and drift off into space. It had begun to worry Jeannie.
He looked at the contents on top of the dresser. He saw the baby bottle warmer she had bought a few days back. It had come out of the box broken. She had complained about it for about 45 minutes. She planned to take it back to the store soon. Whatever.
Deciding to get rid of the four-day stubble, he walked to the bathroom. He opened the medicine cabinet to retrieve his razor. When he closed it, his reflection snapped back into place on the medicine cabinet mirror. As he shaved, he admired the lipstick mark on his forehead. She had consoled him the night before.
--
“What’s the matter honey?”
“Hnnh?” He looked up from a daydream towards his smiling wife.
“You’re starting to freak me out a little, hon. If you don’t tell me what’s wrong I’m afraid I may just have to kill you.”
He smiled an empty smile, “Nothing, Nothing’s wrong.”
She kissed him on the forehead. “We’ll get through this. We’ll figure something out.”
--
He had figured out something. He was not proud of it. In three days, he would lie to Jeannie. In three days he would say he was going to the comedy club. In three days, he would meet back up with Joe and Spider. In three days he would put on the red hood and raid the chemical plant. In three days he would sell his soul for his wife and his future son.
He dried his face, and felt to see if he missed any spots. There was no positive way to look at his situation. He had no other options. This was going to happen. It was hard to wrap his mind around it.
He sat at the table in the kitchen and thought for a bit. He considered going back to bed, but there would be no sleep for him anytime soon. He had woken himself up. He eyed the stack of cards sitting in the center of the table, and dealt himself a game of solitaire.
As he snapped each card down to its place, he thought of another aspect of his life.
Queen of Clubs: His drunken mother telling him he was no good.
Jack of Hearts: The high school’s star athlete pantsing him during the football game.
Ten of Spades: The chemist firing him for correcting the mistake
He drew another card from the deck to find a place for it. This card did not have a place, however. The picture on it smiled up at him. He placed it aside. He did not want to look at it. It gave him a weird feeling.
VIII.
As knotted his bow tie, he watched Jeannie behind him through the mirror. She was pacing back and forth, cleaning, dusting, and whatnot. She had been having these high-active spurts off and on throughout the pregnancy. He thought it was a bit comical, so he didn’t mind.
He called back after her, “Honey, you okay?”
“Sure, course I am.”
“Heh. I’m heading out to the… club here in a bit, hon, is there anything you wanted me to take care of while I was out?”
She spoke without looking up from the dishes, “No, no, not that I can think of. Hey, I got that bottle warmer returned. I opened it to make sure this one wasn’t broken. I’ll test it out later on tonight, when I’m not so busy.
He looked up at the clock. “Crap! Look, I gotta go. I love you and I’ll see you in about an hour, or so.”
“Bye.”
--
He drove to Luskey’s. Yes, he drove to Luskey’s, not the club. He had lied to Jeannie and not for the first time. Bah, all bad thoughts were soon to be obsolete. This was going to happen… Wasn’t it? Yes, of course, this was going to happen. He had to meet up with Spider and Joe for a game plan before the real events tonight, and that’s were he was going now. He couldn’t help but feel he was getting closer and closer to the worse part of the storm.
--
“Hey! Good to see you man! Have a seat there. Luskey! Get the man here a beer!” Spider said with his usual smirk on his face.
“So… are we still on for, for uh…”
“Of course we are! Why, you having second thoughts, man?” Joe offered.
The waitress placed a glass in front of Spider and walked away. “Here’s your beer. Now listen, here’s what’s going on tonight. We’re gonna head down to the chemical plant. Once there we’re gonna put the hood on ya.”
“The, the hood?”
“Don’t worry about it man. We already told you, that its gonna help you out in the end, right?”
“R-right.”
“So, we put the hood on you, get in, crack the safe, hop next door to the card company, and do the same. The three of us drive home rich SOBs.”
“How much do you think that we, uh, we’ll pull tonight?”
“All depends on how much they got sittin’ in those safes, I guess. Don’t worry about it, no matter what, its gonna be a sweet deal.”
“So, everything’s settled for tonight? You’re still goin’ through with it?”
“Uh, well, of course. I’d be crazy to back out now.” Two men walked in the bar behind them. “I mean, the worst part, lying to Jeannie, that’s over. She, she thinks I have a club engagement tonight…”
Joe smiled. “No reason why she wouldn’t keep right on thinking that.”
“Right, man. No reason at all.”
“Listen: tonight, wear a suit and bow tie. It’s kinda trademark with this Red Hood business.”
Spider looked over to see the two men talking to the bartender.
“Of course! That’s what Jeannie will expect me to wear for the nightclub. It’s perfect!”
One of the men showed the bartender a badge.
“Uh, Joe…” Spider tapped Joe on the soldier. The bartender pointed the two men to their table.
Spider and Joe hid from their sight. They didn’t seem too interested in either of them, anyway. They turned toward the small quivering man who was overcome with fear.
“Excuse me, sir, we’re police officers. Could we speak to you outside for a moment?”
“Me? B-but… why? I haven’t… I mean, uh…”
The other officer spoke up, “It’ll only take a moment, sir…”
They led him outside. Joe and Spider looked at each other in fright.
“Think he’ll squeal?”
“Damn well better not.”
--
“Uh, listen, what, what, what’s the problem here? I…”
“Sir, I’m sorry, but your wife had an accident this evening, apparently testing a baby-bottle heater. There was an electrical short and, uh…. Well, she died, sir. I’m sorry.”
>
>
“What?”
IX.
They were kidding. They had to be.
“Listen, I hate to break it to you like this. It was a million to one accident! They have the full details waiting for you at the hospital. There’s no hurry.”
Yes, they were kidding. There was no other explanation. Someone… someone put them up to this.
He patted him on the shoulder. “If I was you, I’d have another drink.” They offered empty, archaic grins. Then they got in the squad car and drove off.
They weren’t kidding.
He stood there. He stared into the night sky outside of the bar. His eyes began to glaze. No, it couldn’t be true. He had lost his mother to alcohol. He didn’t miss her. He lost his father in the Korean War. He didn’t know him. Those were empty losses that never ate at him emotionally.
Jeannie was gone. His motivation was gone. His reason for being was gone.
It all came bursting out. He slid down the brick wall of the bar and sobbed for all he was worth. He remembered a time, not so long past, when he had cried into the lap of his wife. Even though only a short amount of time had past, it seemed like only a dream. Now, a time like that was no longer attainable. He had no one to cry to, only the night.
He cried for ten minutes. He wanted to go and drive from Gotham and never come back. This city had tainted him forever. He went back in the bar to tell Joe and Spider that the job was off. Why go through with it now?
He sniffed the last few tears, and opened the bar doors.
--
Spider smiled and looked as if he was about to say something, but when he saw the look on his face, he thought better of it.
He silently sat at the table. He stared off into space for a good 2 minutes at the table before he spoke.
“My wife. She’s dead. My wife…”
Joe and Spider looked at one another with surprise. Joe turned back to him.
“Gee, that’s terrible. We’re really sorry.”
Spider got up and Joe moved to do the same, “Yeah, hey, listen, man, you wanna be left alone right now, huh? We’ll see you here tonight, okay?”
“Tonight? But… But I can’t do anything tonight. Th-there’s no reason anymore. Jeannie… Jeannie… Jeannie’s dead. You don’t understand…”
Joe got a look of mock-sincerity on his face, “No, no, no. No, I’m sorry about your wife, but its you that don’t understand.”
His face turned from mock-sincerity to pure evil, “What’s happening tonight, it’s no little thing. Nobody backing out now remains healthy. No exceptions.”
“B-but…”
Spider chimed in, “No buts, man. Tomorrow, you bury your old lady in luxury. Tonight, you’re with us. Get the picture?”
They headed for the door.
“Yes. Yes, I get the picture.”
As they left, he looked down at the table. The photo the police had identified him by was lying in front of him. It was Jeannie and he in the picture they took at Coney Island two years ago. He traced the image of her smile with his finger.
He buried his face in hands.
Yes, he got the picture.
--
He sat in the hospital waiting room with his head down and his hands shaking. He had three layers of bags under his eyes, and the eyes, themselves were bloodshot from tears. The minutes seemed to click on by the hour. The door to the waiting room opened, and a doctor who looked very tired himself looked towards him.
“Are you here for Jeannie?”
He nodded in fright. The doctor closed his eyes and turned away.
“Come with me.”
--
“Shotty wiring. Your neighbors heard a scream, and then something fall to the floor.” It turned out that was she on both accounts. “We believed she died almost instantly. There was nothing we could have done for her. I’m sorry.”
He said nothing and continued to walk behind the doctor.
“Did, did you… uh, want to see her before we take her out.”
He thought to himself. His eyes remained like those that are associated with puppies; confused and frightened. He nodded, finally.
The doctor stopped at a door and opened it, and he motioned for him to go inside. The doctor closed the door and left him alone. On the bed there was a figure covered in a white sheet.
He looked up at the clock and shuddered. He would have to meet back up with them at the bar again.
He slowly walked up and began to pull the sheet down. Her sapphire eyes stared into space. They were open, but they were not the same. There was nothing behind them. There was no warmth, no life, and no love.
At was as if she had been frozen in time. He stared at her, almost certain that at any time she would breathe in.
She never did. Not until that moment did he know it was real.
He ran his fingers through her hair. As one tear rolled down his cheek, he spoke to her for the last time.
“I’m sorry.”
X.
The rain sprinkled on his forehead, and he didn’t notice.
Spider and Joe fiddled with the guns and holsters while stared off into space. He was very distant at the moment. Usually, as of lately, he would have dreamed of beautiful dreams of hopeful times to come. For the last 6 hours, he only daydreamed of the past. Happy times, even though right now even the saddest moments he spent with Jeannie seemed inexplicably happy.
“Hey, c’mon! Quit daydreamin’. Are we going this thing or ain’t we?’ Spider’s agitated voice snapped him back into the real world.
“Uh, yes. Yes, of course.” His face remained effortlessly emotionless, “I was, I was just remembering… I used to walk along here on the way to work each morning…”
Spider let out a very angry sigh, “Yeah, yeah. Now out this sucker on, man, an’ shut up. He pulled the gleaming red hood from the bag.
Spider walked up to him and raised the glass hood that had held the heads of many criminals before he.
“What, right now? I mean… I mean, are you sure it’s okay? Will I be able to breathe?”
Spider began to lower it onto his head. “Hey, man, everything’s cool. Jeez… y’know, you got a funny-shaped head…”
The world became very enclosed all of a sudden. His vision got suddenly darker through his colorblind eyes.
“There. You still see okay, man?”
“Wuh, Well, yeah, I guess, except everything’s a little dark. It’s kinda stuffy too, and it smells funny. Does my voice sound echoey to you?” Spider motioned him one way. It was getting hard to see, he felt around to find where he was going.
Joe how had been on lookout, looked towards them, “You sound great. Now… how about guidin’ us through this stinkin’ factory to the joint next door?”
“Sure. Sure thing. Y’know… this feels kinda weird. Like a dream. I keep remembering Jeannie…” His foot hit something and he almost tripped.
Spider grabbed his hand, “Watch out, man. Steps.”
“Okay… we go through here, past the filter tanks and then Monarch Playing Cards is just beyond a partition.”
He led them through the chemical mixing vats of the outdoor portion of the factory. They were about a fourth of the way to the playing card company. Almost done with this nightmare.
“Y’know, this place… it looks even worse this dark. It looks like…”
“HEY, YOU! FREEEEZE!”
They all turned in split second unison. A police officer stood on the scaffolding behind them, pointing a gun down at them. “C’mon, c’mon, get ‘em up!”
Spider moved to pull his piece from his coat, “You asshole! You said there was no security!”
His heart was moving at a thousand beats a second. Why was this all happening to him?
“They… they must have altered things since I left…”
Spider fired on the cops. “Altered things? I’m gonna alter your stupid horse face, man!”
The shot echoed with deafening repetitiveness inside the hood. “Aaaa! That noise! It’s so loud in here…”
Joe pushed him forward, almost making him fall over, “For God’s sake, run! This all screwed up!”
The cop grabbed him walkie-talkie as they ran, “Murph, get some some men over to the Rear Bays. We got the Red Hood mob in here.”
They ran for all they were worth. Spider and Joe were easily in front him, not very interested in keeping him safe anymore.
The obese Joe spoke in between huffs and puffs, “Oh Jesus! Which way is it? How do we get out?”
“I… I don’t know! This mask… can’t see where I’m going…”
Spider was not very happy, to say the least, “I’m gonna kill you, you useless son of a bitch! When we get outta here, I’m gonna…”
But Spider never got to kill him. He never got to finish his sentence, for that matter. For, at that moment, a bullet traveled from one side his head to the next. Another bullet went through each of Joe’s legs, and he fell to the floor.
A hot faucet splattered on him. The hood obscured his vision. What was it? Of course with the hood being red, he couldn’t make out the redness of the liquid on his hands.
“Aw hell. Aw hell…”
“What? What is it? What is it, it’s all over me…”
Joe sat on the ground with Spider lying dead his lap. “You guys… you don’t want me. You want him. He’s the ringleader. He’s the Red Hood…” He started to pull his piece from his coat.
“Watch out! He’s pulling a gun!” The cops wasted no time opening fire on them again. A bullet made acquaintance with Joe’s heart.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! Oh no. No, no, no, no…”
The cops peeked up from their hiding spot to see the Red Hood making a break for it. “The ringleader’s taking off across the catwalk…”
Another cop taking aim spoke up, “He’s still in range…”
A voice arose.
The voice was gruff, inspiring and had the power to engrave itself in you for the rest of your living days.
“No.”
It sent chills down the cop’s spine on instinct.
“No more shooting…”
The turned and saw… him.
“I’m here now.”
The Batman.
“I’ll take care of it my way.”
The caped vigilainte leaped over them, and landed in front of them and then leapt again.
“Jeez, what…?”
“It’s the human bat in all the papers lately…”
The Batman glided, almost seeming to fly and landed right in front of him.
“So, Red Hood, we meet again.”
What…? A demon stood before him. Why was this all happening to him. Why did he deserve it?
“No. No no no. This isn’t happening. Oh dear God, what have you sent to punish me?”
He didn’t ask for this. Oh God, he only wanted to support his wife. How could this ever be justified as fair?!?
The dark figure with glowing eyes approached him. He backed up against a rail. He looked over and saw a forty foot drop into the ravine behind the factory. The water that was uncomfortably green.
“Don’t come closer! Don’t come any closer, or I’ll…”
What happened in the next split second? I have my own opinions on that. Batman’s hand rushed forward. He toppled over.
“…jump…”
He fell. He hit the water with a painful splash. Ouch. He burned. He suddenly felt like he was being stuck with needles on every inch of his body. He swam to the surface as quick as he could. He starved to taste air again.
“Hhhuhhh. Hhhuhhh. Ppffugh.”
He swam to the edge of the raving and crawled on shore.
“Guhh.”
He brought himself to his knees.
“Aaugh. I’m stinging, itching, my face, my hands… something in the water? Oh Jesus, it burns…”
He looked down into a puddle. The hood shined back up at him in the reflection.
“Get this hood off. Get it off so I can…
“…see…”
He saw it. His face had turned deathly pale. His hair… even colorblind… he knew that shade…. green? Oh, God. Oh God, ohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgod ohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgod ohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgod ohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgod…
He buried his face in one hand. He slowly staggered to his feet.
Dear Lord, why? After all he had been through… this is what he accomplished. After all his pain and suffering… this is what the world had to offer him. He was a, a… a clown, for God’s sake!
“Ha.”
It… it, it was pretty funny, I guess.
“Aehehh. Aheh. Ha ha ha…”
A man can only take so much before he snaps under pressure. At least, that’s what I like to think, anyway.
“Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Oh…. Oh, oh, I… Ppffffffahahahahaha ha ha!!! Tseh heh ahehahehahe! I… I… Oh, hahahahah ha ha hahahahha! Pahahaehehaaaa! Nyahha hahaha haha ha heh hahehheh ha ha ha ha ha…. Everythin… Ahaghha… everything… it…. Pppfffffbahahahahahahahahah ha ha! Krahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah! Eheh. Eheh. IT’S…….. ALL….. A….. JOKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He laughed into the night sky and let the rainwater fill his mouth until he choked.
He closed his eyes and died.
I opened my eyes and was born. All of it. All of it made sense now. Life meant nothing. A joke. From beginning to end… it was all a sad and cruel joke.
No one knew it. No one knew it but me. No one could ever understand. I was different. I was the card that didn’t fit anywhere. I was the wildcard in the deck of human existence. I was the Joker.
Then, perhaps from exhaustion, perhaps from the pain of my body that crawling with chemical burn. I passed out. It didn’t matter. I had all the time in world to make my mark. All the time in the world.
