...JOKES...

The LAPD, the FBI, & the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.

The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.

The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.

The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay, okay, I'm a rabbit, I'm a rabbit."

A German Shepherd went to a Western Union office, took out a blank form and wrote, "Woof.. woof.. woof.. woof.. woof.. woof.. woof.. woof."

The clerk examined the paper and said, "There are only nine words here. You could send another 'woof' for the same price."

"But," the dog replied, "then it would make no sense at all!"

Michael comes home from work one day to find his dog with the neighbor's pet rabbit in his mouth. The rabbit is dead and he panics. "They'll never forgive me," he thinks to himself. He decides to take the dirty, chewed up rabbit into the house and give it a bath. He then blow dries its fur and puts the rabbit back into the cage at his neighbor's house, hoping they will think it died of natural causes.

A few days later, his neighbor is outside and asks Michael, "Did you hear that Fluffy died?"

Michael stumbles around and says, "Um...er...no...what happened?"

The neighbor replies, "We just found him dead in his cage one day. But the weird thing is that the day after we buried him we went outside and someone had dug him up, gave him a bath and put him back into the cage. There must be some real sick people out there!"

One day a duck went to the supermarket. He went up and down the aisles. Then he walked up to the store manager and said, "Got any Duck food?" The manager replied, "No, we only have people food here." The duck left.

The next day the duck went back to the supermarket. He went up and down the aisles. He walked up to the manager and said, "Got any duck food?" He replied, "No! We only sell people food here and if you ask me again I will nail your feet to the ground!" The duck left.

The duck returned to the supermarket the next day. He walked up and down the aisles. He walked up to the manager and asked, "Got any nails?" He replied, "No." Then the duck asked, "Got any duck food?"