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Tuesday, 6 January 2004
The Scream
I was so tired last night to work much on photoshop, but i couldn't resist otherwise, so i opened new document dragged a picture spend around an hour playing here and there with NOTHING in mind. then...
i decided to make the lady in the picture go ...'silent'
i asked her to be quiet,
she wouldn't ..
had to make her..
i just had to ..
she.got.silent.
i know it's nothing much , but i like the idea, and how it came out, not a big deal perhaps, but.. simple and well .. it has something to it
i pushed it even farther on her..
and asked her to stop breathing
she didn't, instead..
she got mad..
so mad.
screamed without a sound,
her body started to shake of anger
.... and of fear
the skin pealed , exploded here and there
blood was so dark.. boiling
but it never came out
her eyes turn black
her face became red
and i almost heard voice behind the blocked mouth
a moment later
she couldn't handle her kept anger anymore
she screamed
till her lungs became empty
she's now broken
and silent again
P.S: i actually don't like this one lol , really...it needs SO MUCH editing and touching up , but i might as well start all over again -or since i know me,just leave it and start a whole new thing :D - , i just was very tired to do anything , and thought to share this with whoever reads here.
DehumanizeD
Tuesday, 16 December 2003
"We Finally Got Our Frankenstein" - Michael Moore
We Finally Got Our Frankenstein... and He Was In a Spider Hole! -- by Michael Moore December 14, 2003 Thank God Saddam is finally back in American hands! He must have really missed us. Man, he sure looked bad! But, at least he got a free dental exam today. That's something most Americans can't get. America used to like Saddam. We LOVED Saddam. We funded him. We armed him. We helped him gas Iranian troops. But then he screwed up. He invaded the dictatorship of Kuwait and, in doing so, did the worst thing imaginable -- he threatened an even BETTER friend of ours: the dictatorship of Saudi Arabia, and its vast oil reserves. The Bushes and the Saudi royal family were and are close business partners, and Saddam, back in 1990, committed a royal blunder by getting a little too close to their wealthy holdings. Things went downhill for Saddam from there. But it wasn't always that way. Saddam was our good friend and ally. We supported his regime. It wasn't the first time we had helped a murderer. We liked playing Dr. Frankenstein. We created a lot of monsters -- the Shah of Iran, Somoza of Nicaragua, Pinochet of Chile -- and then we expressed ignorance or shock when they ran amok and massacred people. We liked Saddam because he was willing to fight the Ayatollah. So we made sure that he got billions of dollars to purchase weapons. Weapons of mass destruction.That's right, he had them. We should know -- we gave them to him! We allowed and encouraged American corporations to do business with Saddam in the 1980s. That's how he got chemical and biological agents so he could use them in chemical and biological weapons. Here's the list of some ofthe stuff we sent him (according to a 1994 U.S. Senate report): * Bacillus Anthracis, cause of anthrax. * Clostridium Botulinum, a source of botulinum toxin. * Histoplasma Capsulatam, cause of a disease attacking lungs, brain, spinal cord, and heart. * Brucella Melitensis, a bacteria that can damage major organs. * Clostridium Perfringens, a highly toxic bacteria causing systemic illness. * Clostridium tetani, a highly toxigenic substance. And here are some of the American corporations who helped to prop Saddam up by doing business with him: AT&T, Bechtel, Caterpillar, Dow Chemical, Dupont, Kodak, Hewlett-Packard, and IBM (for a full list of companies and descriptions of how they helped Saddam, go to: www.laweekly.com/ink/03/23/news-crogan.php ) We were so cozy with dear old Saddam that we decided to feed him satellite images so he could locate where the Iranian troops were. We pretty much knew how he would use the information, and sure enough, as soon as we sent him the spy photos, he gassed those troops. And we kept quiet. Because he was our friend, and the Iranians were the "enemy." A year after he first gassed the Iranians, we reestablished full diplomatic relations with him! Later he gassed his own people, the Kurds. You would think that would force us to disassociate ourselves from him. Congress tried to impose economic sanctions on Saddam, but the Reagan White House quickly rejected that idea -- they wouldn't let anything derail their good buddy Saddam. We had a virtual love fest with this Frankenstein whom we (in part) created. And, just like the mythical Frankenstein, Saddam eventually spun out of control. He would no longer do what he was told by his master. Saddam had to be caught. And now that he has been brought back from the wilderness, perhaps he will have something to say about his creators. Maybe we can learn something... interesting. Maybe Don Rumsfeld could smile and shake Saddam's hand again. Just like he did when he went to see him in 1983 (you can find a photo at: http://www.gwu.edu/~nsarchiv/NSAEBB/NSAEBB82/ ) Maybe we never would have been in the situation we're in if Rumsfeld, Bush, Sr., and company hadn't been so excited back in the 80s about their friendly monster in the desert. Meanwhile, anybody know where the guy is who killed 3,000 people on 9/11? Our other Frankenstein?? Maybe he's in a mouse hole. So many of our little monsters, so little time before the next election. Stay strong, Democratic candidates. Quit sounding like a bunch of wusses. These bastards sent us to war on a lie, the killing will not stop, the Arab world hates us with a passion, and we will pay for this out of our pockets for years to come. Nothing that happened today (or in the past 9 months) has made us ONE BIT safer in our post-9/11 world. Saddam was never a threat to our national security. Only our desire to play Dr. Frankenstein dooms us all. Yours, Michael Moore mmflint@aol.com www.michaelmoore.com For a look back to the better times of our relationship with Saddam Hussein, see the following: Patrick E. Tyler, "Officers say U.S. aided Iraq in war despite use of gas," New York Times, August 18, 2002. www.commondreams.org/headlines02/0818-02.htm "U.S. Chemical and Biological Warfare-Related Dual Use Exports to Iraq and their possible impact on health consequences of the Gulf War," 1994 Report by the Committee on Banking, Housing and Urban Affiars. www.gulflink.osd.mil/medsearch/FocusAreas/riegle_report/report/report_in dex.htm William Blum's cover story in the April 1998 issue of The Progressive, "Anthrax for Export." www.progressive.org/0901/anth0498.html Jim Crogan's April 25-May 1, 2003 report in the LA Weekly, "Made in the USA, Part III: The Dishonor Roll." www.laweekly.com/ink/03/23/news-crogan.php "Iraq: U.S. military items exported or transferred to Iraq in the 1980s," United States General Accounting Office, released February 7, 1994. www.fas.org/man/gao/gao9498.htm "U.S. had key role in Iraq buildup; trade in chemical arms allowed despite their use on Iranians and Kurds," Washington Post, December 30, 2002. www.washingtonpost.com/ac2/wp-dyn/A52241-2002Dec29?language=printer "Iraqgate: Saddam Hussein, U.S. policy and the prelude to the Persian Gulf War, 1980-1994," The National Security Archive, 2003 www.gwu.edu/~nsarchiv/nsa/publications/iraqgate/iraqgate.html DehumanizeD
Thursday, 11 December 2003
Suicidal Entry
because i've been hearing alot about this lately, from friends on/offline , i think i'm gonna share my words on this one
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S U I C I D E :-
In my whole life, i have only attempted that once, and it was even THAT serious, i held a knife and pointed it on my tummy, pushed in and was about to hammer it with my other hand to stick it in once and for all , i know it might not have killed me even if it did 'enter' but well.. i didn't even think about it that way, beside it was a HUGE knife.
Like anyone in such/similar situation, so many thoughts started rushing thru my head, some were blur.. but the sharpest thoughts were some kind of images of me after i died, i saw my family crying, and confused about my death, and then i saw my soul looking at my dead body (i swear), and i felt 'ashamed' , for i don't run away from my problems, i usually face them ! it was bad to see my escaping from life itself.... i don't know, i simply throw the knife away, and put my head between my hands and went thinking about everything and everyone for a while, before i went back to put everything where it was .. since then, i never ever concidered that again, and i never will.
The cup isn't half empty,
isn't half full..
it's half empty, and half full
No one is happy, no one i know or ever knew IS totally happy .. actualy akot of ppl who do acheive that HIGH level of happiness and satisfaction about their lives end up killing themselves!, i read once that the highest percentage of suicide committed and/or attempted is in the countries that has the highest average of "incom" , for those who get their retirement early, and receive their cash.. end up in a perfect calm life.. one that so many would dream of after reaching 40 or something, where you almost have everything, every logic reason for you to LIVE happy.. but they end up with a bullet in the head......... boredom? i don't know what it's called , but when life is going on one direction, that's a slow death itself! , you have to have ups and downs, and no matter how long does it take, or how dark it was .. there's always a way out, maybe not RIGHT NOW , nothing comes in one direction, nothing is 100% .. all coins come with two sides..
This is not just a personal erm.. view or statement, this actually isn't about me only.. i don't beleive that suicide can be a soloution, i mean for me .. if i reached that point .. i'd do whatever! .. "when you got nothing , you got nothing to lose" , so yeah! if you're that desperate and wanna die because of all the pressure upon you , fuck it! change whatever you can into WHATEVER else!!! .. if you have an idea.. just fucking do it, ignore the limits, what do you care for? afraid ? from whom ? you were just about to leave this whole life with all what it's worth!!! I'd go out to places i've never been to , i'd say stuff to ppl that i've always wanted to say , i won't give a damn about being nice toward anyone no more, if i hate something about you , no matter who you are, i'd spit that word at your ugly face right away! even if you were my teacher, boss...etc , hell it's even sweeter then!
As mean as it may seem , i do find suicidals to be 'selfish, cowards and stupid!!!!' yes! that pisses me off, why the hell would you do that to yourself! and please don't give me the " you don't understand, and you never will , for you're not where i am!" , that's crap! everyone lives in problems, sure the level is always different but that doesn't mean it's less painfull , i don't care much for ppl i don't know, to hell .. let them throw themselves from a cliff, cut their wrists and laugh at it to death, strangle themselves and hang up till they turn blue, shoot themselves in the head, the heart, or the mouth, drink and swallow fucking pills, plug their asses to electricity, pour oil on their bodys and use a match to burn in life straight to hell , fuck that .. ppl will always come up with a damn creative way to finish their lifes, but won't come up with a solution to fix a problem they faced or even caused! THINK TWICE DAMN IT! i know.. when you reach that point , you'r not much of a thinker, but to be honest, if you reached that point, you haven't been much of a thinker before either.
You don't care about what ppl say about you , yeah i know .. this is what all we - cool ppl - say (!!).. but if you didn't care that much , you wouldn't feel bad for yourself, got sick and tired of "how everyone is treating you" , sick and tired of "what's so-called life" .. i mean i do understand it when a teenager get to that point , it's like a step that some step over it , others have to step ON it to continue their lives and pass this fucking "Era", but i don't get it much for ppl who are now over 17 ! specially those who actually have some working brain cells, some intelligence.. so what if you haven't got your chances yet, and feel lifeless.. helpess.. USELESS.. we all do! WE. ALL . DO! should we kill ourselves? wow what a solution , what a great way to end a misery, creating another one.. i don't want to die that way, no sir! i'm not a coward, i have faced so many situation where i thought death was much more mrecyful than life, so many times!.. i still am not doing much with my life, i am not by any means a successful man , not in anyway!.. i have a job , but not a career, my love life doesn't even exist, my mind is confused switching endlessly between what i was, what i am and what i've wanted to be, running in an endless circle with signals all the way that points : "go round" over and over again, i'm not giving up ,i'm so tired though of "fighting" so tired of trying again and again ,and for the time being i'm so unable of THINKING of trying in ANY field (love, job, hobby...etc) nothing is working out and i mean NO-THING! , but i'm still alive! and welling to beat this bitch up and name it MY LIFE, it's gonna go my way sooner or later, i don't know how, i don't know when , hell i don't even know for sure if it's gonna happen , but at least i beleive it would! .. makes no sense? it's more sense than slashing my wrists.
Who am i to take out a life even if it was mine? it's not solely mine .. (yes you can debate about that all you want, and make reasonable comments about it , but you're missing the point here EVEN if you made sense!) i'm not asking for you to be fully optimistic, that's btw as bad as looking thru black glass, where you can only see an image of your smiling face, while a rock is coming from behind the glass to smash your face and the glass to peices!!!! .. that's not a solution , but at least concider the good side! YES IT IS THERE! you're much mmmmmmmmmuch better than many others, and i do have the proof!, those others btw, are not hurting themselves, not killing themselves either ...
fuck that .. i could talk about this endlessly, but sometimes i feel it's pointless, yet i do . i had to get that out, i only don't want those whom i care about to be better ,and committing /attempting suicide is only a step closer to being "worse" .
One last advice for those stubborns who think that all what's said above is crap, to those - and only those- i say :
if you're attempting suicide, at least make sure it works out ok? it's either you DIE, or you don't try! , if it doesn't work out correct ... hey! here's another thing that you stink at!!!! :-/
Monday, 8 December 2003
Story Time
What if i wrote a story that has not the basic elements for one?.. like..
no 'defined' charactors, no place, no time.. and no events!.. how would A DIALOGUE sound like? .. well i had that idea.. and i'm gonna write down now.. and let's see what comes up!
------------------------------------ somewhere, sometime , someone was talking to someone.. ------------------------------------ - Oh man this is so damn boring! how can this be!! - what are you talking about ? - about this life we're living .. - what about it ? what's wrong with our life ?? - what do you mean what's wrong?? do you even concider it A life in the first place? - you lost me ,pal... - dude!!! we have nothing!! who am i? who are you? where are we ?? - erm.. excuse me, but i think u're going crazy! - *grr* ... ok so you think you're alive.. - duh! - ok .. so who am i ? - you're my friend! - wrong!, this is the first time i see you - ... - am i a man or a woman ? - hahaha , you're a man - why not a woman - well because i know!! - fuck that! even the guy who's writing this doesn't know! - well sure... but ermm.. we're talking aren't we ? - yeah but that doesn't mean we're living, i mean there's no action - oh ..you want action honey? - hey who said that? - *points* - baby i can give you all the action that you want.. - where the hell did you come from?? - who? me? - no no i'm talking about her - well i just asked you, if you were talking about me!! - no you didn't! - fuck i'm confused, who are YOU now? - no , who are you! - right.. .. so who am i? am the girl? - no honey i am the hottie of the story - and who's me?? - you're the bartender.. give us three beers - three? i thought you were just two - no dude, we're three... and you're the fourth! - whatever you say! - make it four - oh boy! - that's exactly what we needed..!!!! - ok ok forget it !! i'm so not welcomed, i'm out of here! - so three or four? - fuck it, make them four.. one for you on me - thank you babe - eww you gay ass, don't call me 'babe' ! - oh!! sorry i thought she said that - i did, and i hate to be called 'babe' ! -
- .. heard you...
- beer for three
- DUDE!! WATCH IT YOU FUCKHEAD!! you spelled on my shirt!!
- uh oh , sorry sweetheart, let me lick that off of you
- lucky bitch!
- heard you ! hahaha
- hey guys, got a question for y'all
- yeah?
- what if we weren't here?
- what do you mean you drunk ass?
- shadap, i mean what if we weren't who we think we are?
- hmmm
- yeah, and this is not where we think we are!
- hahah some kind of a quizz?
- no actualy it's interesting, go on hun
- well what if ..we were.. hmm .. let's say aliens!?
- hahaha aliens!! that's fucking impossible hahaha
- oh yeah? then why do you have only one eye?
- huh?
- HOLLY SHIT, I DO TOO!!!
- told ya!
- omg ! what's that pointy thing sticking out of my head?
- hahahaha it's prolly a sensor
- ewwww!! and what's that tiny little round thing at the edge?
- i think it's your brain.. let me check.. tiny ,...small.. yup difinitly your brain.
- hahahahahah
- god damn it this is not funny!! i'm freaking out !!
- ease up dude! if you're comfortable here, maybe you should do something about it
- like what?
- i dunno , scracth that tiny ball of yours and see what comes out of it
- *smack*
- fuck .. that's gotta hurt!
- you . are. gonna. regret. this
- oh yeah? what are you gonna do? sue me?? hahaha
- nope.... *whistels* BOOOYZZ..
- boys?
- GET HIM!
- hooollly shhhhhh...
- OH MY GOD! where did those come from??
- they were sitting here all the time
- what?? i didn't see them!
- oh so you saw .. ME ?
- well, yeah you're here aren't u
- "if you're reading this, then it must mean that i've went home, got tired of living like this, take care of yourself, and have a great life"
- shit!
- HELP MEE .. I'M DYING HERE! GET THOSE OFF OF ME
- what are you talkig about? you're probably just having a bad nightmare
- nightamre??? we have nightamres as well??
- well finish up your beer and i will tell you all about it..
- damn!
- hey .. some ice please
- sure
- not you , dork!
- oh
- MOVE IT
- sorry , there you go
- honey , listen to me , this is gonna be tough to explain
- i have a feeling it would!
- shutup and mind your own business tender boy
- boy? i'm a girl
- whatever
- k
- sssssssssssssso, yeah.. you with me?
- i'm not sure anymore
- ok here the thing , actually there's no bartender, coz there's no bar
- .....and th..
- listen!!!
- .. ok...
- and you're not here now, you're there!
- there?
- yes, and ofcourse... i'm not here either..
- but ofcourse
- so this means.. it's just you, feras
- feras?
- that's your name isn't it
- oh.. i thought it was yours
- .. i'm a female
- says who!
- shadap!
- mmhmm
- so , feras.. why don't you just get back to what were you doing before you started this insanity
- so i'm alone?
- yes, dear
- all alone...?
- yes.... it's just you feras
- so if i'm feras, this must mean that i..
- am writing this, exactly, and for that i can..
- create and kill any charactor i want... wow, this is
- nice, but is going too far, i have to stop, but hey..why
- are you finishing my sentences?
- well if it's me, who's writing.. why bother have another person?
- right!
- ok i gotta finish this now, but how?
- i'll go to sleep , and make this all a disturbing dream
- good idea.
*wakes up with a scream, drinks some water, looks around* :-
"oh thank god, that was just ..."
- a disturbing dream..
... *silence*...
and back to bed.
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heheh i'll post and read it later :ppp
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ciao :D
Wednesday, 3 December 2003
Something To Talk About
Today, i woke with those words echoing in my head "get the fuck out of here,
i just wana get the fuck away from me,
i rage , i glaze, i hurrrt, i Hate..
i hate it all, why why, why me?
i cannot sleep with a head like this
i wanna cry, i wanna scream
i rage i glaze , i hurrrt , i hate
i wanna HATE IT ALL AWAAY!" -The Unnamed Feeling it's 10:50 Am , and those lines are still ringing over and over, i'm not in a bad mood or something, i actually am ok, but ..i have a weird feeling, i don't exactly know what it's about , or why it's there, but it is there! in my chest like... i don't know as if there's something gonna happen? damn i hope not! I like to type like this, with no 'aim' with no focused thoughts, specially that i'm almost certain that hmm 3 is like the maximum # of persons who would read this, so yeah i'm cool with that, i actually like it even better, for those who don't know me , won't get the idea behind this, and won't even understand why i'm writing like this.. so yeah. P.S click AlT+F4 for a popup to tell you what's the idea behind it!.... NOW!i feel weird. You know, sometimes when i'm walking out , and see a beautiful stranger, i wish i could just step by and say only one thing to her "you are so beautiful" , and then walk away ! i really would like to do that sometimes. but i don't , and i don't think i would.... who knows:) i like pretty faces -who doesn't- , but i'm a fan of human faces (and few animals' as well , such as kitties :D , kitty faces are so nice to watch! u can know how they feel when you look at it) but yeah , nothing beats a beautiful human face. i wish i could work in magazines' ads. field, or even fashion stuff.. not that i'm a big fond of "fashion" but , i would love to be the one who take pictures , to try and capture a beautiful moment of a beautiful face/body, and then "edit" it to florish that beauty in an 'artsy' way, damn i would realy love to! pfff those lines are still in my head! i'll go listen to the song, yup that's what i'm gonna do , and so far that's my plan for today! Later
Wednesday, 19 November 2003
Good ppl, Bad ppl..
When you're good toward others around you, you're liked.. stupidly true. I do accept ppl's views around me, about me or about anything related or even not-directly related to me, bad notes, good notes.. i take it , because i so much beleive that no matter what the (fact) was, there will always be a second opinion, an other point of view, and the ugly in your eyes would possibly be the beauty i look for! I do understand when someone gets.. mad? feels bad or whatever, i have never had any porblems in dealing with anyone's mood change, or even bad temper, IF that's not their "LifeStyl!" i mean, when someone is good to me, i would so excuse him/her when they act weird with me JUST because of a bad mood ,and there are two ways that react, and that depends on how serious their temper is, if there's a problem for example , i try to smoothly get into the details, not asking many questions, let them do the talking at first to see and try to understand where they are, and then based on what info i got, i look at their situation from more than one angle, and from there .. i say my point of view, which normaly widens their aspect, and hopefuly would give a slight light source that this is not the end of everything. If the problem isn't as big as it seemed (P.S : there's no 'silly' problem, if it's bothering THEM, then it's not silly!), in that case i usually back up for moments, even after they stop explaining, after that i come up with an obviously stupid soloution, that might end this whole problem, or maybe just make them laugh a bit , laughter helps alot makes 'WHATEVER' seem less complicated than it really is. ok the bottom line of all of this i guess would be , that... i'm not usually accepted when i'm the one having a bad mood, altho i'm a calm person by nature, but i do have my "moments", and even then i try not to say something stupid to anyone, but *sigh* all am asking is... excuse me if i ever did, you know that i don't mean bad, just... treat me as i would treat you in such a situation ,.. is this too much to ask for? ........................ i guess so!
Sunday, 2 November 2003
Randomness' Rules
constant thinking is just as bad as never thinking..... well maybe not AS bad , but it's absoloutly not healthy. I'm not on the 'deep thinking' mood 24/7 myself, but .. when i start thinking about a thing ... "anything", it'd be the start for thinking about "everything" which would lead me to "nothing" really .. I tend to have mood swings from time to time, but i got them under control -mostly-, YET some... flows on the surface and shows, and ppl could tell from the way i talk, lsn, smile, and/or even type .. but that's a rare case, i'm under disguise for most of the time.. a very long halloween custome party, only i don't take the maskS off till it's too late and i'm home after the big party.. about to sleep only to wake up just in time, for the next one! but when i'm in a relationship with someone/anyone, i like to take off that mask , and show the real face, it's only fair to do so. Sympathy is one of the worst feelings that you can ever give/receive! makes you less than ppl around you , well at least that's how i see it, self pitty isn't that bad tho, gives you a push .. BUT what you control is the direction of that push, would it be forward when you're on the edge, and let you fall deep down and crash on the stones near the ocean, OR push you backward, so you'd go back a step, scared of doing something that might've made a huge impact over your life to make you a better version of yourself!! confusing yeah? both direction can be bad, it depends on how you're dealing with it , and where are you standing. i beleive that the problem IS how you look at it, whatever the situation was, you can shrink it squeeze it with your thump and get over it , or use a microscope and make a huge mosnter out of a fly!.. it's in your hands. Randomness is interesting the sounds outside the office are random cars, ppl, kids, police sirens, are random thoughts that are running thru my mind now ,are random random flashbacks random voices,scenes,smells. this post is random random mobile rings in the hall from time to time random music from passing cars life seems soooo reckless and random like that , so much that it sounds 'interesting' AS randomness itself .. but it's just a pattern, ..and patterns are boring! even when they are random! patterns-like relationships confuse me and i can't really deal with them, unless i was once again.. a mask , in a halloween party!
Saturday, 1 November 2003
Metallica BubbleHeads
I want this!! :D
oh btw, my birthday is on may the 7th :p
Wednesday, 29 October 2003
ME, MYSELF , they, AND I ..!
I found out that I'm in a way starting to get back to my normal state. I don't care much anymore, for nothing really; You know when the doctor sticks a needle in your skin, the only part that hurts is the first enterance, the second needle won't hurt as much, you start to get 'numb'. When you're in a fight, the first punch you get is the one that you feel the most, the rest don't really hurt as much.. untill the fight is over. I kinda feel the same, a bit numb , and as pink floyd described "comfortably numb", yeah it's good.. I don't care for ppl just like I alwayd did , I don't care what they think of me, how they look at me or whatsoever, I don't care what they say nor what they do to tease me or even -for some reason- to fucking impress me! I only belong to me! I haven't found ANYONE that really do understands me, like I understand them.. it's not that I'm looking or something, but this is how its always been, I do understand ppl around me much better than they do understand me, I blame myself at some point , since I'm not a very open person ( in the meaning of Complaining, or saying what's on my mind when I'm bothered ), THAT makes it harder for those around me to really know what's on my mind, but at the same time.. I do not make them feel THAT, they don't know that I'm NOT opening myself 100% .. I mean.. this is who I am, and that's how it is!. back to the point : I like what I'm becoming ,now at least. My moods are not very settled, many ups lots of downs, just like a short while ago , the difference is , It's Under Control .. I am under my control! I don't need ppl's approval on what I do. I don't need ppl's blessings over what I'm doing. I don't want ppl's advices, but I'm welling to lsn. I feel like I know what everyone's about to say (as an advice) , even before they say it. I don't owe no one nothing I don't expect nothing from no one It sounds as if I don't want/like ppl around me , but I don't like to feel alone, which I do alot of the time. I Am Mine. 
Saturday, 18 October 2003
Day 1 ?
Boredom can lead to so many dead ends, BUT in many cases it can drive you thru to a new ways of expressing yourself, finding out that you have more than you thought you did!... Creativity out of boredom, sounds good. Many of Blogs/diary/journal webpages that i've been to, explored or even participated in, look at it (boredom and creativity) the other way around; "Creativity produces Boredom", that sounds weird or untrue at first , but it actually can be very Right! .. too much of wasted 'creativity', that makes us feel it's useless, just a waste of time, would get anyone frustrated, and back again to the i'm-so-bored status, and it's all the same. For me ... a problem, Any problem, Is how we look at things, the way you look at a situation IS what defines it as a problem, an event, a complex or simply.. a daily event (even if it wasn't so daily), i look at boredom as a chance, a given extra time for me to handle, and to try to learn a bit more about the so-called Life, Experience Is Everything, That's what got me into making a homepage when i knew absoloutly NOTHING about it, - i still know veeeeery little- , but i'm learning and trying to be better... And that as well is the first motive behind creating this .. Blog. So for me, for now.. Boredom Produces Experience, Boredom IS a motive!.
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