Do you lock yourself in your room?
Mood:  hug me
Now Playing: With the radio on turned up so loud no one hears you screaming
Topic: happenings
We go to L&M on Thursday nights to sing karaoke. This use to be something we had in common and we had so much fun. Lately, I only sing sometimes. He doesn't seem to care. As soon as we get there he turns in his songs and runs off with Dennis. I sit playing video games and downing drinks. I feel embarassed to be with him. He acts so dumb and everyone thinks I can do better. The men are always coming over to ask why I am all alone. Welcome to my life, I say. I have a man named Jack who says he loves me and wants to "impregnate" me. He is way to old for me. Feels good someone wants me tho. Another guy named Jeff tells me he fantasizes about me at work. I must look pretty good, cause they all want me sober or not. All but Jay. Alcohol is his GF.

Do you ever wanna run away?
Mood:  not sure
Now Playing: continued...
Topic: happenings
Well, I ended up playing pool tonight with Jack and with Erica and Nathan. Sometimes I do even tho I stink. I start telling Erica and Sean about how I am getting kicked out in the street out of MY house cause of Jay, and he acts like it ain't happening! I tell them I am done with him and am moving out from under him. My drinks go to my head and I start crying. Erica takes me into the bathroom to calm me. I tell her I am probably gonna be alone for a damn long time cause I just can't take this. Also, I hate the whole "hooking up" scene. I hate games and that's all it is. I have been "alone" for a long time already with Jay. Over four years wasted and 12 yrs before that on my husband. Maybe I missed my chance huh?