The Reason is You!
Mood:  crushed out
Topic: Nathan
Nathan is a quiet guy. I have chatted with him here and there though. He initially made me think of Satan as he has the facial features and had a pointed goutee then. lol Also, for some reason, he, Erica and Sean are called The Addams Family by a few at L&M. Like I said, I have played pool with him. He's flirted a bit with me when he is more outgoing on drinks. He's so young and quiet most of the time I never really thought much of it. He did accidentally grab my boobs once, bought me a drink another time seemed to love my sexy angel outfit on Halloween(along with all the other males). Tonight, we crossed a line into another sphere and I'll never be able to go back again. Ahhhhhh!!!!!

Do you ever wanna run away?
Mood:  not sure
Now Playing: continued...
Topic: happenings
Well, I ended up playing pool tonight with Jack and with Erica and Nathan. Sometimes I do even tho I stink. I start telling Erica and Sean about how I am getting kicked out in the street out of MY house cause of Jay, and he acts like it ain't happening! I tell them I am done with him and am moving out from under him. My drinks go to my head and I start crying. Erica takes me into the bathroom to calm me. I tell her I am probably gonna be alone for a damn long time cause I just can't take this. Also, I hate the whole "hooking up" scene. I hate games and that's all it is. I have been "alone" for a long time already with Jay. Over four years wasted and 12 yrs before that on my husband. Maybe I missed my chance huh?

Do you lock yourself in your room?
Mood:  hug me
Now Playing: With the radio on turned up so loud no one hears you screaming
Topic: happenings
We go to L&M on Thursday nights to sing karaoke. This use to be something we had in common and we had so much fun. Lately, I only sing sometimes. He doesn't seem to care. As soon as we get there he turns in his songs and runs off with Dennis. I sit playing video games and downing drinks. I feel embarassed to be with him. He acts so dumb and everyone thinks I can do better. The men are always coming over to ask why I am all alone. Welcome to my life, I say. I have a man named Jack who says he loves me and wants to "impregnate" me. He is way to old for me. Feels good someone wants me tho. Another guy named Jeff tells me he fantasizes about me at work. I must look pretty good, cause they all want me sober or not. All but Jay. Alcohol is his GF.

Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Mood:  irritated
Billy is so damn annoying! He is constantly over-serving Dennis and Jay just so they'll do stupid shiit to entertain him. Then, if they go overboard, he gets pissed and threatens their jobs! He is such an ass. He is constantly beating on their arms until they are black & blue. Mind you, Jay is 130 lbs soaking wet and about 5'9. Dennis is taller, but thin. He also snaps them with wet towels and disses them. The thing is...they LIKE it. Billy can do no wrong. Why is that? Cause he gives them free over-alcoholed drinks. Both guys get aggressive on hard alcohol, but he doesn't care. It's crazy! And Beavis & Butthead are both heading down a path of disaster and don't seem to care. Jay is not even suppose to be drinking. He goes to alcohol classes!!!

R U Desparate 2 Find Something More Before Your Life is Over?
Mood:  don't ask
Topic: background info
CAST OF CHARACTERS:

Carrie-me(40)Divorced mom, cuddly, fun, fiesty
Jay -BF(35)Irresponsible, grouchy, party wanna-be
Billy -M (25ish)Steve Austin look-alike, bartender
Dennis-M (38)Beavis to Jay's Butthead, enough said
Charlene-(29)Dennis' GF, got me the job at Michael's
Sean -M (33)Big doughboy cook at L & M
Erica -F (33)Sean's wife, she hates him & everyone
Nathan-M (22)Their "nephew", asst cook

Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Mood:  irritated
Topic: background info
I am working myself ragged trying to procure a permanent position at my seasonal job at Michael's. I love it! The pay sucks, but I need a job, any job at this point and I do really love it. When I get home I have to deal with the boys complaining about Jay bullying them about housework, as if it's his place to tell them anything! My church is going to help the boys and I find a cheaper place. This is a 4 bd/2 bth house. We only need a 2 bd apt. If Jay won't leave, we will move out from under him! I have told him to start looking for a place to live, 'cause it won't be with me. He ignores me. He always does. I tell him that we are over. He is just an unwanted roommate now. I tell everyone we know that by year's end I'll be rid of him. They all cheer

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Mood:  blue
Now Playing: Too Much To Handle!
Topic: background info
My alcoholic boyfriend,Jay,is making me nuts.He works AND plays at our bar; the L & M Firehouse. He is there practically 24/7 and is always lying to me to get my car to go there. He keeps me up all night snoring 'cause he is so drunk. He spends all his money; and I mean ALL, on drinks and cigarettes. He will not leave my house! I have broken up with him, kicked him out, told him I hate him. He breaks back in. He has no pride. He doesn't love me or he'd pay me some attention. He loves my "stuff": my house, car, pc, etc. He recently got me fined $1000 for throwing a cigarette butt out the car window, rear-ended a woman in my car while blitzed, and we are now getting evicted because he spends all his money at the bar! I am going insane.