Today


And now today...

Such longing continues to ache, making me realize just who i am and who it is that makes me feel as i do. There isn't a day that goes by, that i don't think of Him and feel a warmth... i still feel him in my belly when he comes online, my chest tightening and the excitement like a little kid. He may say that i'm a needy slut, and i am *smiles*, moody, and sometimes well deserving of a spanking. He is the only one who can send my emotions reeling with just his presence online... a word, a song, can bring tears to my eyes. So in control of me it scares me because all it will take is one word and i will feel his disappointment in me... and i will do whatever i can to be in his good graces again.

This has been a learning, growing relationship, and there is no end to it... all that either of us has wanted and needed we've found in each other, and when something this good happens after what each has been through, you just can't pass it by or give it up. Everything is workable, exchanged, and i am convinced that some will never feel it, some long for it and for some, it will never happen in this lifetime. My role is to make better the things i know to be done according to His likes... to make life easier without his having to worry about detail; i can't please Him all the time, i have no control over his feelings because sometimes life is not so kind, and all i can do is not make it worse.

Therefore, i hold tightly and never want to let go; we know what works.

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