Ol' Pappy'ism
Following are a list of what I refer to as ol'pappy-isms. The phrase liberally stolen from the classic television show "Maverick". They are rules and metaphors that have been around my brother, myself, and my sons. Most are metaphors about aspects of life. The "Blonde by birth..." was my fathers response to the breast implant debate. There are some you will find profound. Some you will be angered by. Some you will laugh at. Some you will think are horse crap. More will be added as we remember them. Enjoy.
My ol'pappy used to say...
1) I don't mean to tell the right or wrong of dating married women, but you should be aware of how many disgruntled husbands actually own firearms.
2) Don't judge people on what they say, but by the results of their actions.
3) Nothing good ever came from saying "no" to a beautiful woman.
4) You should give what you are comfortable giving, and take only what you need.
5) If someone is dying, all bets are off.
6) There is no honor in striking someone smaller than you.
7) Anyone that lashes out, for no better reason than as a matter of principle, is wrong.
8) In a bar, if the truth is boring, lie.
9) The good guys don't kill. Nope, no cavets. The good guys don't kill.
10) When someone stabs you to death, the "why" of it is not nearly as important as the fact that you are dead.
11) Never give money to anyone you haven't slept with.
12) In that space between a rock and a hard spot, even your best friend will betray you.
13) The only thing that doesn't change, is the fact that everything changes.
14) Blonde by birth, blonde by choice, its still blonde.
15) True friends will know what color your eyes are.
16) That which doesn't kill you, hurts real bad.
17) It isn't that nice guys finish last with woman, it's boring guys finished last.
18) The quality of a man lies in how well he fight the fight he knows he can not win.
19) Americans play a great game of chess, but, for all their stratigem, they tend to forget that the object of the game is to win.
20) While there seems to be a upper limit on intelligence, there doesn't seem to be a bottom limit to stupidity.
21) Aggressively arrogant and obnoxious people (who, by the way, tend to describe themselves as strong willed and decisive) are a waste of everyone's time.
22) Don't chase the one you love. Chase the one that loves you.
23) There are two kinds of people in the world. Those that think there are two kinds of people in the world, and those that don't.
24) The main problem between men and women is... Women expect men to change, and they don't. Men expect women to stay the same, and they don't
25) If you can't tell if someone is male or female, it doesn't really matter.
26) The squeeky wheel gets replaced.
27) For every relationship you put 100% into, you will be lucky to get 85% of what you need.
28) People make time for those things that are important to them.
29) There are eight million stories in the naked city, and most of them as boring as hell.
30) Rather the company of one scoundrel doing the right thing, than that of a 100 honest and true men, who see the right thing and do nothing.
31) When you have a gut feeling, do the exact opposite. That voice in your head is a spoiled, petulant, stupid, child. Why in hell would anyone take advice from such?
32) For the true believer, any evidence is sufficent. For the true non-believer, all the evidence in the world isn't enough. Trust neither.