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Violetmoon Bipolar
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Last Update: 5/20/00

Violetmoon: on Adoption

Welcome to my page on adoption. As a birth mom, adoption is obviously something that has permenantly touched my life. It also touches the lives of all my family members, my adopted kids, their adoptive families, and everyone who cares about/loves them too. Adoption affects everybody.It is amazing to me how many people are emotionally affected by one adoption, in one way or another. Here is a brief look at my story and some of my views on adoption, and some fabulous links.

Adoption has been a part of my life . . . .

I have had three children in my life, and the first and last I relenquished to adoptive families. These children are now 13(boy), and 8(girl.) I loved these children very much. But due to my personal emotional struggles and my lack of financial stability, I thought them better off with people more stable than I was back then.
My son is a mostly closed adoption. I know his adoptive parent's names, and have met them twice when he was very young. I have not seen him since he was 3 years old. I think of him daily. I wish to re-unite with him when he comes of age.
My daughter is a more open adoption. I did not see much of her during the first seven years of her life...maybe3-4 times. But, this past year I wrote her parents and reminded them that our adoption was to be very open, and that since I contact them regularly, they should be responsive.
I just want to see her, spend some time with her. Know her favorite color, what food she hates, what she dreams about. I want her to know how much I love her.
Well, this year so far,I have seen her three times, which is a GREAT improvement. Last time I saw her, she said she thinks of me every single day. It was wonderful to ease her mind and tell her that I think of her ever single day, too.
I often think about how hard adoption has been on me, but she reminds me how hard it is for the adopted child. It stirs so many emotions . . .so many questions.
I also think adoption can be a positive, viable alternative for people. The people raising my children are giving them everything I could wish to give them (except myself, which is what I long to give them.)
So many people never re-unite from adoption. I think this is silly. There are so many unanswered questions for both the birthparents, and the adoptees. That is why I support reunion registries, and homepages with adoption stories. My 'story' here is brief, but gives a general idea about a lifetime of feelings, thoughts, regrets, longings. It would be far too lengthy to disburse the long version of my journeys with and through the years of adoption.
If you are adopted, I would like to say to you that I have NEVER met a birthmom that did not want to desperately know what became of their adopted child. I also never met a birthmom that did not fret over many a sleepless night, waiting, wondering, longing for the child they entrusted with someone else. If you are curious at all . . . look for your birthparents. I bet they will be thrilled to know what became of you!

To adoptive parents I would like to say: Remember that there is a mother out there somewhere that loves your adopted child as much as you do . . . maybe more . . . because she loved that child enough to entrust that child with you. Birthmoms are not lurking kiddnappers who want to 'steal' their babies back like you might see on late night television dramas. They are just moms who want to know how their child is doing, feeling, growing, learing, developing, and so on. Birthparents give you a gift of joy, and in return they have given themselves the pain of longing and loss. Be kind to birthparents. They are just human beings like yourself who have one huge thing in common with you: love for your child.

Birthparents: Never stop wondering or searching, I think it is worth the effort. And, advice I should often take myself . . . don't be too hard on yourself.

Below are Two Great Opportunities to Explore The Many Sides of Adoption, Including Reunion Registries. What Do You Have to Lose?

Click Here!


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