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Alias: Melody Powers

By Kendra Steiner

Melody Powers smiled and looked happilly down the elevator shaft at her handiwork. "Too bad Eduard didn't check the elevator cable before he climbed in. He never had a chance, just like the rest of the Communists out there."

Just then, a group of Bolsheviks wielding bombs ran swiftly toward her from the corridor of Neo-Highland High School, in the town she once lived in. She knew what she had to do. She started handspringing down the hall so she'd be in line with the still-open shaft containing the doomed Eduard. As soon as they reached her she kicked them and their bombs into the shaft and flipped swiftly away to avoid the blast of the bombs, which she knew would kill the Bolshevicks before they reached the bottom.

"I better get out of here quickly, before that stupid janitor, Angela, gets here. She'll only ruin things, just like she did back in..." But she didn't finish that statement.

"Freeze!" yelled Angela, as she poked a broom meant to act like a gun into Melody's back. But Mel was too smart to fall for that one. She grinned wickedly and turned swiftly to face her opponent. "Wha...what are YOU doing here?" sputtered Angela "I'm kicking the ass's of Communists like you! DIE!" screamed Melody, as she pulled out a large gun, and proceeded to blow Angela's face off.

"Too easy, Angela, TOO easy. God, I love not having to call you Ms..." But again, Melody was interupted with a call from HQ on her wrist communicator. "Melody, do you copy?" said a fuzzy sounding voice through her communicator/watch, "Melody, are you there? Are you alive?"

"Yes, I'm here. Would you mind beeping me next time, or at least being quieter?" replied an exasperated Melody. "Where to?" "Go to Paris, France. There, you'll meet a man named, ROWRRR, Jean Claude. MMM, FIESTY!!!" 'Of course. What else do you name a boy in France?' she thought dryly, as HQ continued to ramble on about her mission.


"Gee, Jean Claude, I just love your studio!" said Melody, with so much more enthusiasm then she liked to muster. "Um, would you mind if I used your restroom?" As soon as she made her escape, she pulled a small but lethal gasoline-activated bomb out of her bag and put it in the sink. With the sink stopped up, she put a little gas in the bottom, and then set the bomb to two minutes, and left through the window. "Jeez. That was too easy. As simple as eating paste! Kinda like a certain QB I used to know" She said.

Melody powers simply smiled and walked into the sunset, as Jean Claude's house burst in to flame. "I think I'll use that vacation time now, and take a trip to...Gah! Dammit!" She yelled, as her watch beeped. "Stupid HQ, doesn't realize I'm busy! No one appriciates me! Wait, I'm going to stop. I will NOT burst a blood vessel like-" "Melody, next assignment-Go to..."

At a bar in Los Angales...

"Well THIS will be simple! Wipe out a crowd of 200 because they saw you kill the Cuban-spy/owner! ARRGH!!!" When Melody walked into the womens restroom, she saw a familiar-looking well endowed girl trying to remove black dye from her bouncy blond pigtails, and whimpering about something. The girl said "Hi! Wait a minute. Don't I know you from somewhere?" "No, uh, I gotta go! Bye!" said a flustered Melody. "Gosh, that was wierd!" Replied the girl. In the meantime, Melody had left the restroom and was going across the crowded pool hall, in search of her target.

The trek across the hall was quick, though the floor was sloped in places. The man she was looking for was 54 year old Hernando Rodruigez, a spy for Cuba. "Ahh. There he is. This shall be easy." She asked him for a position working there, and was requested to take an interview with him. In the back room, the rest of her task was history. She pulled out a gun and said "Bye bye, Hernie!," and then shot him in the head.

Outside the back room, she was very surprised to see a guy she'd avoided since High School. "What are you doing here?!" "Umm...(attempting to think) I don't remember?" "are you asking me or telling me?" Asked Melody. "Um...Asking you ?" He replied, after a long and uncomfortable silence. "Aw, nevermind! Forget you even saw me here, and don't mention me to anyone!" "Um...Mention who?" "ARRGGH!!!" was Melody's annoyed reply, as she got out of there as fast as her boots would carry her.

"Finally! Well, I'm off to the Riviera now!" She blurted cheerfully, then said "Wow! I'm more like my sis, er, cousin, than even I thought! Oh, no! I've GOT to get out of here! I'm reverting back to my immature High School self!" And with that, she was off.

A week later, at the Riviera... "Boy, it's nice here. So relaxing, and I needed a break from the call of the Yakuza." She said, smirking at the familiar, yet old joke. Then, out of the blue popped two figures she thought she'd never see again. "Oh my God, it's YOU!" said the first figure, a girl she used to know. "Come on, let's talk." sighed Melody.

Back at Melody's room, the conversation was going something like this: "Where've you been?" Said the second of the two mystery guests, a male. a male. "Um, fighting the forces of evil that would threaten to tear our country assunder?" Said Melody, with a face that said plainly that she thought they wouldn't belive her. "Yeah, right. Now seriously, where HAVE you been?" Said person #2. When he got nothing out of Melody but a blank look, he realized she WAS serious. "Really? Truely? You have been...whatever you said?" said #2."Yup" said Melody.

"Wow! Sheesh, Daria, you could've told us, you know." said the girl, #1. "My name is NOT Daria anymore! It's Melody Powers. Oh, and I can't tell ANYONE about my job. Not friends, not family, no one! Okay, Jane? You know enough stuff about me that could get me executed now? Want some more?!" "Wow! You could get executed for telling us what you just told us about yourself?" "Yes, Jane, are you happy?" "Um, yeah" "What about you, Trent? Enough? "Yeah." He replied.

Daria, alias:Melody Powers, walked calmly out of the Hotel with her two friends, and into the orange sunset, as the Hotel blew up in a mushroom cloud on the beach behind them. She said "You know, guys, we have a LOT to catch up on, like..." And again, Melody was interupted by HQ. "Mel, get your ass back here, pronto!" Said the other end.

Melody just replied dryly with "Um, Upchuck? You do realize that *I* give the orders, right? I'm the brains of this operation. Remember, Upchuck?" "Um...Oh, yeah! NOW I remember!" "Good. Now shut your trap and send me a chopper. I've got guests." Replied Mel. Jane just shuddered, remembering what a creep he was. About 5 minutes later, a chopper arrived and carted their asses out of there.

HQ was a nondescript stone building in New York City. Melody walked in and said "Hey, my people, I'm back!" The three people in the room turned their heads to her and then turned back to their work VERY quickly, as though afraid of her. "My work here is done. I have taught you well." She said with an all too familiar smirk. A laugh-cough from Trent, and a full smile from Jane followed, as they walked with Melody to a wall, and watched with amazement as she flipped a light switch, and a wall dissapeared.

"Hollogram." She explained flatly to her amazed friends. "The wall wasn't real, it was made of light, and it's safer to remove the light, then to go through it. I wont explain that to you."

They walked into the room and watched for an hour as Melody showed them many military-type gizmos they never imagined could have existed. "Before I show you any more, I must ask you this:Are you two willing to join the ranks? I can't tell you any more untill I get a response."

Well, as you can imagine, Jane and Trent were HAPPY to give up their drab lives in Lawndale to join their friend on a quest tp rid the world of Communists, Cubans, and Bolshevicks. The occupation was explained to them, and Melody, Mallory, and James (Daria, Jane, and Trent) walked out of the building and headed out to do their job. Upchuck lay curled up on the ground, holding his bruised crotch. "Grrr. Feisty!"

Melody, Mallory, and James went back to Lawndale for one last look before they were to begin training. They saw many familiar faces, like Sandi Griffin, walking along with 6 kids in tow. "6 kids in 8 years! A new record!" This time it was James' turn to shudder. They also saw Quinn, walking with her husband, Jamie, and her daughter, Emily, looking genuinely happy, and genuinely pregnant, as 3 year old Emmy toddeled along, looking exactly like a young Daria. "So, the tradition continues." Smirked Mallory. Finally, they saw Jodie and Mack, looking quite happy, and stopped to say Hi.

Melody went home to visit her Mom and Dad, something she did every once in a while. She and her parents talked about things like, was Daria dating? Does Daria have a job? Et Cetera... Then Melody, Mallory, and James left, but not before blowing up Lawndale High and laughing all the while as Mr.DeMartino, Mr.O'Neil, Ms.Barch, and Ms.Morris all burned inside. "Well, THAT was sadistic enough. Aw, hell, they deserved it!" Said Mallory. They hopped a plane to Russia, and on the way, Melody did a quick recap of her recent jobs.

"So, let me get this straight. You moved to Lawndale because of legal trouble about your job?" Asked Jane. "Yep. Mom and Dad didn't know that, though." "And the story about Tonio was real? A job you'd done recently?" "Yes, again. I almost got fired over that one, in fact." This boggled Jane's mind.

In Russia, Mallory went off to an art store on a mission to kill the Communist owner, and Melody and James were left to talk at the Hotel. James told her what had happened when she left. Melody told HIM what had happened when she left. What had REALLY happened. She also told him how SHE was the one who destroyed Highland, and, in doing so, helped to create Neo-Highland.

She also explained just WHY she used to blush around him, causing HIM to blush and fluster, and eventually explain that he felt the same way, but wasn't sure what she'd do if he told her. They talked some more, this time about themselves.

Their next mission was to kill the ambassador to America from Russia, a woman named Natalia Koulevich. This was a pretty simple task. They boarded the private plane that held Ms.Koulevich, Hijacked it while in midair, and shot all who were onboard. They then parachuted to the secret millitary submarine, hidden near the wreck of the Titanic, and informed them of their success. They were all given medals and vacation time, which they decided to spend in Seattle. They took a train to Seattle, found a hotel, and set to relaxing, which is hard to do for two straight weeks in Seattle. They laughed over dinner about the demise of Ms.Li, and had a fun time shopping at the many individual stores.

"...And I just said 'I'm kicking the ass's of Communists like you. DIE!!!,' and then I blew her face off." Said Melody, while they ate at THE KEG*. "Good one, Melody," Said James, in that raspy voice of his. "She deserved to die, after all the Hell she put us through, the bitch." Melody continued on with "And did I tell you about Eduard and Jean Claude? Those two were as stupid as Beavis and Butt Head." "Who?" Asked Malory. "Um, nevermind." Said Melody, now visibly nervous. "Aw, leave her alone, Mal. She looks like she doesn't want to talk about it." Said James, coming to Mel's rescue. "Okay, fine." Said Mal.

"No, I'll tell you. It was my first job, just before I came to Lawndale. I had to kill these two idiots named Beavis and Butthead, because, as stupid as they were, they were a threat to our government. The thing is, they were also kind of my only friends in Highland. Pathetic, isn't it. That's why I'm shy about it." Trent and Jane decided not to press her any further.

The three friends were called on to business after that, and they loved every minute of it, and all the "surprises" along the way. But that's a whole other story...

*The Keg is a steak restaurant in Washington. I don't know if it is in any other states. It's semi-formal, and the food is good.