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RILEY FINN

Title:

Loser

Birth Date:

The Day Hell froze over

Birth Place:

A pit in Iowa that he managed to crawl out of

Marital Status:

Single (Forever)

Fan Club:

Marc Blucas
C/O Buffy the Vampire Slayer
C/O The Warner Brothers Television Network
4000 Warner Blvd
Burbank, CA 91522


 

Character Description

Wanker, Nuff said.

Ok, ok, so you actually want to know about this loser? Gee, I pity you then, for that means your mother must of dropped you on your head as a child, my sympathy goes out to you. I should suggest that you go somewhere else to find out Riley info, I don’t like blackening my computer with anything about him, hell, those images I’ve provided you with have made my computer scorn me and it has taken weeks for it to forgive me, it’s still very traumatised by the whole event.  Ok, anyway, here’s some stuff on cheese boy, where to begin, Riley comes from hell itself, or more truthfully from Iowa, and was and always will be, a dick. He’s the only person who will use the words court and woo in a sentence referring to dating. He appeared in the first episode of season4, when a stray book landed on his head and forgot to finish the job off. He’s a psychology major and I think that’s the perfect field for him, he can try and figure out what Joss was thinking when he came up with him.

 Anyways, Professor Walsh liked him for some weird reason, she must be one of those people who holds pity for dumb animals, so she made him into a drug cheat at the Olympics, ie, he’s on steroids and a member of the initiative. A pathetic organization of humans who attempt to catch demons and debug them, but with all their techno gizmos and so forth, they couldn’t even hold Spike, who escaped with ease and was never caught again. Heck, he was sitting on the stairs in Giles’s apartment with Riley standing right there, told Riley he was the vamp he was looking for, then walked out!  Riley thinks he’s pretty tough though on the demon capturing front as he has a whole 17 under his belt, compared to Buffy’s well…you try and count them.

Sigh, let see, what else has cheese boy done? Oh yeah, his chat up line for buffy was that he liked cheese, great, if she were Minnie Mouse! But Buffy, traumatised from Angel leaving her and so forth, starts dating him, the greatest mystery of them all is why, god why??? Personally, I think she was just trying to make Spike jealous after their engagement failed, but really Buffy, you want to make someone jealous? Use someone without a plastic chest and someone who has a personality, and someone who doesn’t think black jeans and white sneakers is fashionable.  Anyway, Riley is an arrogant pig, thinks Buffy should stay at home baking cookies while he goes out and is the man, sorry boy, you’d probably lose in a fight against Xander, and Anya, who likes everybody, doesn’t even like you! Hell, just to continue on, Buffy was protecting Spike from Riley and wouldn’t let them hurt or take him back to the initiative, why? Because she likes Spike more then him!

Riley listens to nobody, because he believes he’s a macho man, which he isn’t, and as further proof to how stupid he is, when he cut the chip out of his chest that was  controlling him, his mind was unable to comprehend the words, SEVERED NERVES!!!! A person with a brain would have been in quite some pain, Riley though, with his brain of cheese, defied all logic of science and didn’t feel a thing. Oh yeah, and Angel kicked his measly ass without breaking out in a sweat a feat that anyone could do really, even Willow could kick his ass blindfolded. What does the future hold for Riley Finn? Hopefully a bloody death or Spontaneous Combustion, but as long as he’s gone, I’ll be happy, and so will 99.95% of Buffy fans world wide, good riddance to the dickhead.

 

Bio By Cloud24