Lance Drake

Well, another Melt-Down has come and gone and, as usual, the intensity is building up to the point that something is about to explode at the Pay-per-View. In fact, I get the feeling that we won't have to wait until the pay-per-view if what happened in the final moments ofthe Boiler Room was any indication. So let's kick off with a recap of the night's events.

Prez Rockin' Rick came out and announced the pairings for the IC title tournament. Captain" Devon Storm and Killa X, Jared Blazer and "Maniac" Morris, Eric Aberle and Cory Taylor, Pretty Boy and Widowmaker, Ravyn Starr and Phoenix, Chris Colton and Triple S, "Krusher" and Carnage, with Damien Storm and Inferno filling out the final bracket.

Now let's pause for a moment and take a good look at the teams. First off we, know that four of the teams will be eliminated, and the survivors will be broken up and placed in a final tourney. But given who's all been paired up with whom in the first round, do you really think that eight guys are going to actually make it to the half-way point. Come on, we got Blazer and Morris on one team, Aberle and Taylor on another, Phoenix and Starr...these are three teams alone that will probably self-destruct in the opening moments once the bell is rung. The only team that looks like it might be stable enough to make it is probably Inferno and Damien Storm. Granted Storm and Inferno may not get along, but at least they'll keep it professional until the next round, then all bets are off.

Next we had The Dude facing Eric Aberle. Unfortunately, the Dude never appeared due to the fact that Chris Colton laid his sorry ass out backstage and then came out and challenged Aberle. EA accepted and the two pretty much threw the rules out the window. After a couple minutes, security pulled them apart and things looked like they were starting to get under control. Then Maniac Morris came out and attacked EA, laying him out on the runway and spitting on him. Okay, Morris either has a deathwish or is lacking a few brain cells...probably both in his case. First, he targets Wilder, then Blazer, and now EA. EA is just as dangerous as Wilder or Blazer and if Morris isn't careful, he's going to bite off more than he can chew.

Backstage, we saw Jay "The almighty wannabe" Swift hanging out when he got ambushed by another piece of trash called Crazy Cory Taylor. Normally, I wouldn't find cause to complain, after all, it's just Jay Swift. Of course, then Jay had to put on his little play of him being a badass by beating up his own stablemates. You know, Jay, this so called rift going on with your stable...no one buys it. Then again, beating up on your own people is probably the only thing you're really good at.

The triple-threat match with Kaige, Dynasty, and Steve the All-American was okay, but for some reason, I felt this was one of the weaker matches of the event, although Rick Brown's little appearance near the end of the match and beating the crap out of Dynasty did put an interesting spin on it. Steve TAA end up winning the match, but I don't know...this whole match just seemed to be lacking energy.

The the pace kicked back up when Carnage, Phoenix, Devon Storm, and the laughable Ravyn Starr sqared off in a four way brawl. Maybe it was just me, but it looked more like an unofficial tag match than an actual fatal four way. Sure, Phoenix and Storm pounded on eachother a little bit, but it seemed to me that they spent more time beating the living daylights out of Carnage and Starr. On the other hand, it was funny when they both found out that they were both declared winners of the match, which pissed them both off. You know, it would be kind of funny if these two ended up being a reluctant tag team in the future. Sure, they don't get along, but they do a lot of damage together. Oh well, time will tell. I do kind of feel sorry for Carnage though...I mean, we have this promising newcomer and his first major match was pretty much being thrown in a pack hungry pirhana.

As for Starr...hey, bud, listen...there's this other company called the ICWF, it's for the losers who can't cut it here and bail out. You're probably better off there. Or you could go to the EWL...naaaah, I take that back. The EWL only takes wrestlers who actually have talent and I don't see them taking kindly to ESW cast-offs.

Anyway, I was looking forward to watching Rick Brown beat the shit out of Chris Rage. Unfortunately, Chris Rage no-showed on account of Crazy Cory Taylor yet again poking his nose in some else's business. Of course, this pissed off Brown and I was a little upset...I wantd to see Chris get his sorry ass kicked all over the arena. But, that's okay, shit happens and you gotta' take what life gets you. Although, one last note to Cory Taylor...just because you're getting away with attacking people backstage, don't be thinking that everyone's vulnerable. I would have laughed my ass off if you had decided to target a couple people in particular and found yourself on the receiving end of a shock-prod or something. So be careful who you target.

Next up, Damien Storm and Kirk "I hate all you damn yanks" Fitzpatrick. You know, I gotta' give Kirk credit, he came in, talked shit all week and even gave a respecetable showing of himself in the ring. But I think he was expecting too much of an easy match and found out how sadly mistaken he was when Damien Storm fought him to a bloody draw. However, in my opinion, this is more of a loss for Kirk than it is for Storm. All this week Kirk was talking about how superior he was to that "damn wanker" Storm and Storm gave as good as he got. So Kirk's going to either change his strategy and take his opponents a little more seriously or he's going to be in for a very short career in the ESW.

After that, we were witness in what can only be described as the biggest screwjob so far in the ESW. Inferno and Snake Eyes had the makings of a kickass team and probably would have beaten Jared Blazer and Triple-S...but as always seems to be standard practice, the Untouchables had control from the get-go. In this case, Snake-Eyes backstabbed Inferno in the ring and left him to the mercy of the Untouchables. But then things took an even more bizarre twist when Snake-Eyes was ambushed by an unidentified attacker. I don't know, but I have a feeling that whoever it was might be linked to Chris Colton...but that's just my opinion, I could be wrong.

But the screwjobs and surprises were not over with the Untouchables. The next match was Down Under and Pretty Boy vesus Chris Cammeron and AJ Simon of the Untouchables. Things started off okay, but then Cammeron suddenly turned and left his fellow stablemate in the ring to fend for himself. Pretty Boy and Down Under didn't even break a sweat...the match had pretty much lasted for about two minutes. But then things got weirder...a pre-taped message from Inferno popped up on the Jumbotron screen and while Down Under and Pretty Boy were distracted, Inferno came out and pretty much wasted Down Under. Then Inferno ducked into the crowd as Pretty Boy helped Down Under back up to his feet and the two headed back up the runway. But just when you thought it was all over, several smoke charges were set off along the runway, and when the smoke cleared, we saw Mark Wilder appear out of nowhere, take Down Under out with a tazer and proceed to beat and humiliate Pretty Boy. Inferno then showed up to keep Wilder from trying to end the rookie's career, but from Wilder said...this was just a warning. And one thing had become apparent, if Wilder really wanted to end Pretty Boy's career, he would have.

Next up, we saw Jay Swift take on Fresh for the right to rip the title away from World Chumpion, Chris Cammeron. Of course, we saw Fresh and Swift supposedly going at it earlier this week and Swift pretending to beat the crap out of Pretty Boy...but I was wondering who they were fooling. Sure, they might have fooled Cammeron and humiliated his sorry ass out in the ring. But one should be asking this question: Given the fact that the Untouchables plan for something like this, how come nobody was there. Mark must have easily seen it coming but how come he wasn't lurking around? He usually has a contingency plan of some sort. BUt it has been decided, Fresh will be facing off against C4.

And Finally, we had the Boiler Room Match. Ever since this match was signed...hell, even BEFORE this match was signed, we saw this coming to a head. Mark Wilder and Maniac Morris had been waging a little war since Maniac first appeared. Mostly it had been a war of words, but when Maniac tried to attack the Mark and company last week, he found out that Mark had planned on it and took some security measures. But this time around, there were fancy tricks, no doubles, and no threats. Both men entered and began to beat eachother to a bloody pulp. Morris brought some toys to use, but it seemed that he wasn't the only one. But then things got really interesting when Mark pulled out a pair of handcuffs and handcuffed himself to Morris. They then continued to beat eachother to a bloody pulp while referee Jared Blazer just sat their on his ass and did nothing. Eventually, Jared unlocked the handcuffs after Wilder and Morris had momentarily exhausted themselves and let the fight continue. Morris used a pair of brass knuckles to lay out Wilder and slowly started to crawl towards the exit. But he apparently didn't have much strength left, because the blow only knocked Mark down but not out. Both men we're making their way to the door when who should appear but Cory Taylor AGAIN! Taylor laid out Morris and looked about to do the same to Wilder when he realized that it would be him against two Untouchables and decided it was better to leave. Mark managed to get out of the Boiler room and won the match. Then the weird shit happened...Wilder went back in to help Morris up, then Blazer suddenly attacked Morris and then shoved the bloody and groggy Wilder out of the Boiler room. Then we saw Snake-Eyes standing over a strait-jacketed Morris and dropping a couple rattlers in the room.

Overall, this show was fairly decent even though some things were a little predictible. However, if this is a preview of what to expect at the pay-per-view, then count me in for the long haul.

But before I go, I got some last words. Jay Swift, you still suck. Morris, like the new 'tude. Wilder, you're still a fucking prick. And Cammeron...make sure you polish that belt really good because Fresh wants to be able to see his reflection in it.

That's all people.

Lance Drake

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