Hellen Keller
Q: How did Hellen Keller burn her fingers?
A: She was trying to read the waffle iron.
Q: Why is Hellen Keller's leg yellow?
A: Her dog is blind, too.
Q: How did Hellen Keller's parents punish her?
A: They rearranged the furniture.
Q: Why did Hellen Keller hang from a cliff for three days?
A: She couldn't hang on the cliff and yell for help at the same time.
Cannibals
Q: What is a cannibal's favorite breakfast cereal?
A: Shredded Feet
Q: Why was the cannibal expelled from school?
A: He tried to butter up his teacher.
Q: What do cannibal lawyers charge?
A: An arm and a leg.
Guys with no arms and no legs
Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs at the front door?
A: Matt.
Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs swimming?
A: Bob.
Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs playing baseball?
A: Second Base.
Animals
Q: What do you call a cow with no legs?
A: Ground Beef.
Q: What do you call a cow with two legs?
A: Lean Beef.
Assorted Sickness
Q: What is purple and red and goes around at a hundred miles an hour?
A: Barney in a blender.
Q: What is the best way to pick up girls in Waco?
A: With a dust pan.
Q: What do you call a lepper in a hot tub?
A: Stu. (Get it? Stew?)
These are all old jokes and to the best of my knowledge are part of the public domain.
This page last updated 7/29/2000.
