CREATIVE TRAINER:
Parenthood Edition

A Personal Pledge from Director Tamara Kaye Sellman

My background
I completely understand the challenges of balancing parenthood and one's writing career. I have had to adapt my writing schedule for 12 years around the needs of my family and my work. There has been the relentless frustration of wanting to write (even to read) and not being physically able to. I have had my share of sick kids and trips to the doctor that have resulted in exhausting all-nighters in order to make deadlines.

I know how it feels to go from being a career person to someone who becomes essentially invisible in the culture because I'm at home with my children and my writing, which are two of the most invisible obligations one could have.

Plus I've endured all the same challenges as other writers, with computer failures, lost manuscripts, dry writing spells, way too many rejections, not enough pay, dips in confidence, bad experiences with editors. The works.

Between 1996 and 2003 (the span of my young parenthood), I also suffered from six months of postpartum depression; relocated twice (once, across country); took countless writing workshops; belonged to writing critique groups; attended writing conferences; had abdominal surgery; and founded, edited, and published an online anthology. September 11th also happened during this time, which is worth mentioning because I know of so many writers whose writing lives were changed forever by this huge shift in the American national identity.

The light at the end of the tunnel
But the good news is this: between 1996 and 2003, I also published 16 short stories; 64 poems; and countless dozens of articles, book reviews, editorials, commentaries. I completed two novel first drafts; wrote two more novels up to about 40,000 words; and garnered some 25 awards and distinctions, including two Pushcart Prize nominations. [See my credits here.]

This doesn't begin to count all the other writing I did which is still looking for a home, needs completion, or will probably never be published: the work that, in the course of my completing it, became valuable to me because it helped me to become a better writer.

What I'm saying is this: it's possible to have a writing life while raising small children (either full-time or as a working parent).

What we can do together
Introducing the Parenthood Edition of Creative Trainer. This service is designed specifically with writing parents in mind. Are you a mother or father of a preschool-aged child and you are struggling to find time for your writing projects, dreams, or drives?

I want to help to rejuvenate writers who have fallen into poor writing habits or need to add structure and accountability to their regular schedules due to the special circumstances revolving around the nonstop and demanding life of early parenthood. I know precisely where you've been, and I want to be your virtual roadmap for navigating the creative, emotional, and physically demanding life of the writing parent.

Participants in this service receive 2 weekly half-hour process consultations for advice, support, feedback, and direction, either by phone, teleconference or IRL meeting*; this weekly accountability keeps writing parents in charge of their goals, their dreams, and their identities.

I am flexible as to meeting times. I can make time late at night, early in the morning, or during naptimes or while your little ones are in preschool. It's only 30 minutes, just twice a week, but it will advance your writing life in ways you never thought possible with children in tow.

The content of these half-hour consultations can run the gamut from solving time-management issues, working through the unpredictable nature of writing during times of upheaval (illnesses, crises, emotional challenges), building and keeping a support system, taking care of one's whole Self, and working through postpartum challenges which might otherwise conspire against you to motivate your quitting altogether.

If you live in a small town, or have physical disabilities, are self-employed, or are, in some other way, living in a more remote, inaccessible, or unsupported setting, I'm the person to talk to for motivation, support, and ideas.

Nuts and bolts
Participants are required to sign up for a minimum of 2 months of this service to experience maximum benefit. Service includes one free 30 minute pre-training session.

Participants are not required to do anything during this service (no homework!) except to show up at the prearranged time and to give their writing lives the best attention they can. No judgments! It's my experience that sometimes even talking about writing can be the healthiest thing a person can do, especially if it's the only thing they can do.

I guarantee, I will not ask you to write everyday or to otherwise suit the demands of other writing schedules, unless you want me to. My goal is to train you to keep up your writer's radar during this significant period of your family's life, because there are also a multitude of writing skills that are perfect for developing at this time. If you put them to work now, the day will come when your kids are finally all in school all day, and you'll be prepared—unlike others, who will feel like they are beginning from scratch—to move forward into your writing life with all the tools you need to meet your career goals.

I require that participants sign up for a minimum of 2 months of this service in order to experience the maximum benefit. A positive lifestyle change can't be integrated in only one or two sessions. Over 8 weeks, however, writers should be far more motivated, prepared, and empowered than they were before the service.

Service includes one free 1-hour teleconferenced pre-training session. Further regular use of this service, which I recommend for lasting results, can be handled on retainer; reduced rates can be discussed at that time.

After enough participants have used the service, I would like to offer the option of a monitored, private group where everyone can meet and chat about their challenges, because it has been my experience that asking for help in such an environment is almost always going to lead to positive and productive solutions. I haven't met a successful writing parent who didn't want to share their tips for making it happen.

Contact me directly about signing up. We can discuss the best times for you to meet, your particular challenges and concerns and goals, technical arrangements, payment plans, and any other questions you might have about working in a creative training relationship.

Let me walk you through the wilderness where creativity and parenthood meet. I have elementary-school aged children right now, so my tracks are still fresh! In the last 12 years, I've found all the gear and the motivation to navigate my way through this challenging phase of your life. Let me help you do the same thing.

—Tamara Kaye Sellman

 

*IRL ("live") meetings available for Kitsap County residents only.