ARE THERE ANY FBI AGENTS IN HEAVEN?
Once there was a woman who declared war on the FBI
because she didn't buy into what her country was doing.She declared war on the FBI so they decided to kill her.
They decided to kill her because that's what they do.
That's why they're hired, that's what they love,
FBI agents are faux grim reapers in bad shades.But this woman was loved by the angels
so loved that every time an FBI agent would sneak up
on her or her family some invisible force would pick
the FBI agent up, shake them around like a toddler
with a toy, lift them skyward a few stories high
and then drop them crumbled to the earth. Ker-splat.Are there any FBI agents in heaven?
FBI agents don't believe in angels. If they did
they wouldn't have made the woman public enemy #1.Because their leaders assumed—with their limited training
and their limited minds—that the only way their
agents could be failing would be because the woman
was part of some vast conspiracy like the Communist Menace,
a menace that ceased about a decade ago. Yet in need of
explanations to prop up their ridiculous argument for
going after this woman they had to assume that she was a
regular James Bond rogue agent action hero in their midst.Are there any FBI agents in heaven?
The FBI agent waiting in the car in front of the woman's house
was surprised when his car lifted heavenward. But since he
didn't believe in heaven the fact that he dropped into a snow bank
in a farmer's field near the Rez in South Dakota during a nasty winter
was simply incomprehensible.The FBI agent hidden in the attic would have hurt the woman's family
if an invisible hand hadn't lifted him out through the ceiling
somehow without leaving a hole as though he was already a ghost.
And in a way, of course, he already was.Are there any FBI agents in heaven?
The FBI agent sitting in the airplane ready to
pounce on the woman as soon as they landed
blinked and found himself on the
other side of the smooth airplane walls, sitting as
though still belted in his seat, a thousand feet in the sky.Are there any FBI agents in heaven?
No, but sometimes FBI agents hear wings and see enormous shadows,
before grasping feathers in their hammy fists, and falling,
falling through the atmosphere as though they expected to fly.r i c h a r d p e a b o d y
a r l i n g t o n , v i r g i n i a
margin home | contents | links | reading list | marginalia | contributors | staff | guidelines | kudos | subscriptions | contact us
Want to know about UPDATES and NEW ADDITIONS to MARGIN?
Try our opt-in subscription
It's absolutely free!
