My *Public Journal*

Well hello. I am keepin a compressed summary of my days right here for all to see, isn't that great. Ne way, *peace*.

2/25/00-Brian gets pissed at me, dammet. So pissed, he never wants to talk to me again. =..(
2/26/00-I stay up the whole night cryin over Brian. Also, I find my "BRIAN" bracelet that I bought one year ago in Cali....and I put it on.
3/09/00-A lot more crying.
3/10/00-Mr. Mac is puzzled when I tell him I am not a Marilyn Manson fanatic.
3/14/00-Brian confirms the fact that he hates me. We have our final talk of our life, and we leave on bad riddance. I cry all night, I can't breathe, I can't stand up, I have the biggest panic attack of my life.
3/15/00-Life gets a little better. I find out that I actually helped someone in their life. I got a note from someone at school, here it is....


I just wanted to let you know that I saw your calligraphy project in the hallway and I loved it. My older brother who was 20 was killed last Monday in a car accident. Enya was his favorite singer. Since last week I have listened to the story of trees cd at least 20 times. I love it. I just wanted you to know that your project is beautiful, I'm sure my brother thinks so too.

Love, Carlee Gerrard

3/16/00-The Milky Way talks to me and we play table tennis. Wooha. Also, I get to wear the "empathy belly" for my child development class, and I almost faint. Oh yeah, and Brian writes me an email sayin he will never unblock me again. So, I write him one last good riddance email. It is hard to say goodbye.
3/18/00-Today I saw a guy wearin a skirt at Albertson's!! It was so funny, I fell to the floor laughin, but he didn't notice. Then me and 3 of my brothers started runnin around the store actin like spies, and doin rolls and a mission impossible type thing. It was fun. Ne way, on a side note, I chewed a wrapper that someone spit gum on, and 2 of my brothers talked to saddened me. And Brian told one of 'em, "tell her i say hi...see what she says, hehe." I guess he figures it's fun to mess with me, cuz I won't fight back. Not ne more. Arggg
3/19/00-um, well...I talked to Janelle today, and got somethin straightened out with her, so that is um, good. And I talked to a long lost childhood pal, Desiree, but she's changed mucho, she's even more boring that me!!-ack ack. Last night I had a dream that Brian was considering forgiving me and bein friends again!!! I was so excited, I thought it had really happened when I woke up, then I was like...oh. And it made me really sad. Ne way, despite that, I'm in a better mood today than usual. Could it be el sol??