Star Wars Humor

1. Jabba doesn't have time for smugglers who drop their pants(cargo) at the first sign of an Imperial Cruiser.
   
2. These pants contain the ultimate power in the Universe. I suggest we use it.
   
3. I find your lack of pants(faith) disturbing.
   
4. She must have hidden the plans in her pants(droids). Send a detachment down to retrieve them. See to it personally Commander.
   
5. A tremor in the pants(force). The last time I felt this was in the presence of my old master.
   
6. Lock the door. And hope they don't have pants(guns).
   
7. Maybe you'd like it back in your pants(cell), your highness.
   
8. I used to bulls-eye womp-rats in my pants back home.
   
9. You look strong enough to pull the pants(ears) off a Gundark.
   
10. Luke, I am your pants(father).
    
11. Luke, search your pants(feelings). You know it is true.
    
12. Great, Chewie, great. Always thinking with your pants(stomach).
    
13. Han will have those pants(shields) down. We've got to give him more time!
    
14. Don't worry. Chewie and I have gotten into a lot of pants more heavily guarded than this.
    
15. We've got to be able to get some reading on those pants(sheilds), up or down.
    
16. That blast came from those pants. That thing's operational!
    
17. Your pants betray you. Your feelings for them are strong.
    
18. You are unwise to lower your pants.
    
19. Luke...Help me remove these pants.
    

Thanks to wench/goddess for these next 2 lists!
Twenty One Reasons why Star Wars is Better Than Titanic:

1. The Titanic is big, but it doesn't have a hyperdrive.
   
2. Yoda could use the Force to lift the Titanic out of the water.
   
3. Leia is a princess, a senator, a freedom fighter, and Jedi material; Rose is marriage bait.
   
4. Ewoks throw better parties than either first class or steerage.
   
5. When flying towards the Titanic, Wedge can't say "Look at the size of that thing!" and really mean it.
   
6. It would be much scarier to get chased around the boat by a raving madman with a lightsaber than a raving madman with a handgun.
   
7. Titanic is egalitarian by portraying poor people as sympathetic characters. Star Wars is egalitarian by promoting bug-eyed amphibians to Admiral.
   
8. Said bug-eyed amphibious Admiral manages NOT to lose his ship.
   
9. We know Cal is the bad guy because he sneers at the poor and treats his fiancee like property. We know Darth Vader is the bad guy because he strangles people and blows up planets for fun.
   
10. Yeah, Leo can dance, but can he fly an X-wing?
    
11. Rose braves icy water to rescue her man. Leia braves Jabba the Hutt.
    
12. There are always enough escape pods in Star Wars.
    
13. Do you know what the Empire does to self-proclaimed "kings of the world"?
    
14. If Luke were handcuffed to a pipe below decks in a sinking ship, he would use the Force to get the key.
    
15. "I'd rather be his whore than your wife" just doesn't have the same sting as "I'd rather kiss a Wookie."
    
16. Han is frozen in carbonite and turned into a wall ornament. Leo simply freezes.
    
17. Han Solo would've steered clear of that damn iceberg!
    
18. We knew the boat was gonna sink. But who could've anticipated, "Luke....I am your father."
    
19. Stormtroopers blast big holes in stupid minor characters; everyone in Titanic was a stupid minor character.
    
20. When Star Wars was proclaimed coolest movie of all time by half of planet earth, George Lucas did not make a dork of himself at the Oscars.
    
21. Titanic morals: a. gamble, b. cheat on your husband, c. pose nude for pictures, d. premarital sex is OK if you're infatuated.
    Star Wars morals: a. fight evil, b. do good, c. respect all life even if it's ugly and slithers, d. rescue princess, e. save planet.