MicroBlogger! - No PHP, No SQL, No CGI...? No Problem!

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Whats New?

... MicroBlogger, as the name implies, is a small, simple, flexible, reliable weblog engine written entirely in bash script. It has absolutely no dependencies on any other programs--No PHP, no SQL, no CGI, no Perl, nothing. MicroBlogger is self-regulating, self-maintaining, and ready to fly straight out of the box. Just unpack the archive in your web directory, add a greeting, and whammo, you're all set! MicroBlogger's simplicity has another advantage; its fast, stable, and easy to customize!

Finally, no more freakin' "add-ons", "extensions", "modules", or "plugins". All that crap is unnecessary. Unlike its competitors, MicroBlogger doesn't suck. It's fast, elegant, extensible, secure, and stable. Sure, you can ask for more, but do you really want to? :)

Just look at Captain Kirk up there... He decided he was going to use PHP4, MySQL, CGI, Perl, and JavaScript to make his "Captain's Log".....Heh, poor guy, he tried to overdo it with PHP-Nuke, and all he got in return was angry and constipated! As the picture illustrates, you shouldn't have to strain to make a log. There really is no need for any other foo-foo gingerbread features like SQL servers and exotic Apache mods.. Its just freakin' HTML for petes sake. Its not supposed to be complicated. So, just look at that picture, and think back to all the time and hassle you spent learning a skill thats obsolete in 6 months. If all you want is a simple, full-featured weblog, you've come to the right place. If you just want to cut to the chase and grab the latest version of MicroBlogger, head down to the Links section at the bottom of the page. Otherwise, enjoy your stay. :)

And Now For Something Completely Different:

Recent News

MicroBlogger 1.6 Released!

...Well, as you can see from my ominously glowing head over on the left, MicroBlogger v1.6 is ready! :) Complete with multiple author/avatar support. On the books for v1.7 will be per-author archive support, along with some (hopefully) code cleanups. MicroBlogger 1.6 will probably be a really good release, since I was listening to Devo and ELO almost nonstop thruought the whole session. I swear to God, they should give out a copy of this stuff for graduating CS majors. :) Anyway, as always, MicroBlogger remains backward-compatible, so you should just be able to drop the new backend in place and start kickin ass with the new version. The backend now weighs in at just over 10KB. Yeah, I know, ENORMOUS bloat. I should have it back down to 6-7KB by v1.7.. Stay tuned, and enjoy the new release!

(Added on Wednesday, September 11, 2002 @ 03:13:17 PM)

Version 1.6 In The Works..

...I'm working on V1.6 today.. If this page looks a little weird, thats why. Stay tuned. I'm building avatar/multiple author support. :)

(Added on Tuesday, September 03, 2002 @ 09:07:51 AM)

MicroBlogger 1.5 Released!

...MicroBlogger 1.5 is out... The backend now weighs in at a whopping 7.2KB :) Yes, I know, horribly bloated isn't it.. New features include a handy archival feature which took all of like 50 bytes to implement. Some minor code cleanups, and a few new menu options added to handle the feature. You can grab it by clicking here, or from the links section below. Enjoy!

(Added on Wednesday, August 21, 2002 @ 09:10:41 AM)

Jeff Lynne Is An Ear-Bleedin' Friggin' Genius

...Many of you are aware of my recent obsession with all things E.L.O. Don't ask -- I can't understand it either. Perhaps its because today's music has all the artistic integrity of an episode of Captain Planet. Nonetheless, I feel compelled to reiterate what i've said many times -- Jeff Lynne of E.L.O. is an ear-bleedin' f*@#ing genious. Deep down, I don't really think I need to point this out, since it should be abundatly clear and obvious to most of you. Yeah, yeah, i've heard it all before... People call schmucks like "Prince" musical geniouses. Sure, if youre gonna write songs about people's butts, having sex, and having sex with people's butts, Prince is great... But for the rest of us who don't really care about their buttocks, let alone other people's..err...buttockses, there are real musical geniuses. I implore you, stack up E.L.O. against any other piece of music, especially anything produced after the butt-rock invasion of the early 90's. You will see what myself and millions of others already know. E.L.O. friggin kills em all, and burns the bodies.

(Added on Wednesday, August 21, 2002 @ 08:57:42 AM)

MicroBlogger 1.4 Released!

...MicroBlogger 1.4 is now available... Smack the link below to grab it. New features include a much-cleaned-up menu system which encapsulates all the features of the backend, some formatting improvements, and a few new features tossed in for fun. Enjoy!

(Added on Friday, August 09, 2002 @ 04:13:11 PM)

MicroBlogger 1.3 Released!

...Released MicroBlogger 1.3 tonight..click the link below to grab it.

(Added on Thursday, August 08, 2002 @ 01:25:26 AM)

Women To Worship Goddess Of Beer

... LONDON (Reuters) - British beer lovers have enlisted the support of a Sumerian goddess in their efforts to shake off the masculine image of their favorite tipple. Fed up with the drink's beer bellied image, the Campaign for Real Ale (Camra) said on Tuesday it had adopted the goddess Ninkasi -- said to have created a recipe for beer 4,000 years ago -- as patron in a bid to attract more women to the pumps. "We think real British beer is something to be proud of and it should be marketed to women as well as men," said Camra's Mike Benner. "Almost all the advertising we see on our TV screens...is a real turn off for women. Ninkasi, the new Goddess of British beer, is here to change all that." Ninkasi, worshipped by one of the world's earliest civilizations in what is now Iraq in around 3500 BC, is thought to be one of the early brewers of beer. She was worshipped by both men and women at a time when ale was made and served exclusively by women. Camra decided to adopt the cult after its research revealed that less than a quarter of British women had tried real cask ale in a pub, Benner said. Almost a fifth of women polled by Camra said they thought it was an old-fashioned drink, while a third believed it was "unfeminine." "Brewers need to present beer in a more original and modern way if they are going to build a following with women," Benner said in a statement. "It needs to be a little less Inspector Morse." To tempt female taste buds, the society is launching a range of 10 "female friendly" ales at its Great British Beer Festival in London this week. While none is brewed to the recipe used by Ninkasi, Benner said the 10 beers on offer demonstrated the wide variety available. He added that women would also not be expected to drink the beer in the same way as ancient Sumerian women -- from bulky clay jugs through lengthy drinking straws. The annual Great British Beer Festival is on at London's Olympia from Tuesday to Saturday. Some 45,000 beer lovers are expected to attend. Camra surveyed 1,000 people across Britain in June this year.

(Added on Thursday, August 08, 2002 @ 01:19:41 AM)

Man Dies After Fiery Summer Snowmobile Stunt

...VANCOUVER, British Columbia (Reuters) - A Canadian man who tried to drive his snowmobile through a ball of flames during a drunken summer party has died of his injuries, police said on Tuesday. Josh Chapman was severely burned in the July 20 incident in Squamish, British Columbia. Witnesses told police the 23-year-old from Whistler, British Columbia, near Vancouver, rode the snowmobile in a "wheelie" down a paved public street and attempt to drive it through a gasoline fire at the end of the run. Local media reported Chapman's stunt was also being recorded for use in a video of extreme sports events. Chapman had been hospitalized in critical condition since attempting the stunt and died on Monday. No criminal charges have been filed, but the Royal Canadian Mounted Police said the incident was still under investigation.

(Added on Thursday, August 08, 2002 @ 01:10:37 AM)

Downloads, Links, And Other Stuff:

Link	Description
Download MicroBlogger	Click here to grab the latest version of MicroBlogger!
MicroBlogger Homepage	Yup, MicroBlogger has its own development page, which, oddly enough, looks alot like this page!
PROPAGANDA	A good example site powered by MicroBlogger.
Ashnews	Another blog engine, requires PHP & MySQL. Yawn.
ASPComments	A blogger that depends on Microsoft ASP & Access..Hahaha
AvantBlog	Leave it to the Aussies to write a blog that requires AvantGo. Yeesh.
BigBlogTool	A bloated, slow blogging tool that relies on XHTML, JavaScript, and PHP. The choice of sadists worldwide!
Blagg	Blagg is an "RSS aggregator", which is geek-speak for "it's not worth the powder to blow it to hell."
Jericho	For people who love pain, here's another slow, clumsy half-broken blog tool that relies on "Manila XML-RPC", whatever the hell that is.
SIPS	I saved the funniest one for last. "SIPS" stands for "Simple Internet Publishing System".... So simple, infact, it has 19 documented bugs, 379 different patches, and a security hole big enough to drive a friggin 18-wheeler through. Oh, and its so simple, it only requires PHP4, which will chop off ...err..."simplify"...any stories greater than 8K in length.