MOTIVATION
Topic: Family
Thursday, July 27, 2006 Current mood: worried It Doesn't Take Dynamite... There's probably a quiet little recording in the back of every mom's mind of her child's voice in a crisis. And you hope never to hear that little voice in real life. But when Bill phoned on his barely working cell phone Saturday evening, I knew that voice immediately and the bottom fell out of my world.

I know now why man created god in his own image - it was to have someone to thank when the Universe cushions the blow and saves your child from certain disaster if not death. From the first day you send them out on their own to play with a neighbor or walk to school the last thing you say on parting is "I love you," just in case it's the last thing you get to say to them. You warn them about watching out for weirdos because they're out there and there's not a thing you can do about them. And you hold your kids in your heart every moment of their lives and still you can't protect them from the shit that happens out there. And so when they are protected, you thank the universe or your god or their Karma or something because you sure didn't do it for them when it came right down to it. You couldn't do anything for them when it came right down to it. Well, maybe, if the universe was listening. If the god was watching. Maybe you absorbed some of the craziness through your love or at least can pretend so and hope so.

So what is motivating? What gets a tired, sickly old mom moving like there was no tomorrow? The fear there may be no tomorrow. All it took was Bill saying two words, "subdural hematoma" and I was in a gear I didn't know I had. While he was waiting in the ER for results from his CAT scan I did two loads of laundry, packed for at least two weeks, chartered an airplane to take me to Seattle where Delta would fly me to Atlanta in a matter of hours. Finally the call came. Bill's brain was OK though going to hurt him for some time. And he wanted me to wait and come back when he was feeling better so we could play. So I thanked my pilot, unpacked my luggage, and followed all Bill's friends links on My Space to be sure he had enough friends around him to cushion the pain he'll have the next several weeks. He has. He has Nicki and Lisa and Robbie and so many more.

Thank you friends! Thank you Universe!