My Divorce in Washington

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I am a single father living on Camano Island. From July 1997 to July of 1999 I tried to arrange for my time with my daughter from my estranged wife, Starlet.
With great happiness I'd like to announce that I now have full custody of my beautiful daughter. After 15 hearings and a week long trial I was awarded primary residential time with my daughter. The mother has restricted visitation.
The length of the legal process as horrible as it was gave me this opportunity. Immediately after separation I had virtually no rights to see my daughter. The mother was unfit to parent and yet I had no way of showing this to the court but as the case was dragged out and we were monitored closely the truth came out.
Parent evaluations and psychological exams of each of us were invaluable. The mother's mental illness which before was only an allegation came to light. The length of the process was long enough to uncover her use of controlled substances, perjury, abuse, emotional instability, and the danger she poses to our daughter.
Before litigation I had little chance of custody of my daughter. Being a single father, originally only seeing my infant daughter through court ordered visitation alternating weekends was a big hurdle. It was only the mother's inabilty stay lucid in court and her lengthy history of abuse that helped me raise my daughter.
This brings up a paradox for me. I wish she was safe and sane for my daughter's sake. I wish the multitude of medications for chemical imbalances worked and I wish the best for her mental health. I wish all these for my daughter's sake. At the same time if my exwife was stable and refrained from her abuses I would have what most single fathers get, a limited visitation schedule. I am most happy to be able to raise my daughter as a full-time parent which otherwise the mother would not allow.
To parents divorcing: Put your children above your feelings for you ex. Try to be amicable. I believe I have the time with my daughter I have today because I tried to avoid conflict, was always civil, and do my best to respect the bond between my ex and our daughter. Vindictiveness, hatred, false accusations, and alienating your child against the other parent will always backfire. In response to attacks, turn the other cheek. Let grudges go, and always be positive with your children.
D.J. McIntyre djmach@yahoo.com (new addy)